Remember at the beginning of your relationship the butterflies you felt for your partner? You couldn’t wait to see them or hear their voice. You planned surprises and gave each other gifts. Then as time passes and we get comfortable and in the chaos of our days, we forget to fill up our partners Love Bank Account.
There are two simple things you can do to either ignite or reignite the connection and passion in your relationship or to keep it from waning in the first place.
1. Commit to planning at least one date a month
Really put some thought and effort into this. Plan something that you know your partner will truly enjoy. Many times we plan things we know we like, but place a bit of effort into really thinking about what lights your partner up.
A client of ours recently planned a surprise date for her husband to an indoor shooting range. She absolutely hates guns so this is something she normally would not do. The result was that she had a really great time doing something she had never done before and he was overjoyed that she planned something specifically for him. Taking turns and planning dates for one another tells your partner that they are important to you and that you care. It makes enormous deposits that fill up the “Love” bank account.
2. Surprise your partner
Surprise and mystery ignite passion. When was the last time you surprised your partner? When is the last time they surprised you? When you receive an invitation from your partner for a mystery date it stirs wonderful emotions inside. The anticipation is exhilarating even if it’s just going out to dinner. I recently received an invitation to be ready at 4:30 PM and to wear a black wig, green top, black leggings and boots. All day long I was enthusiastic and curious as to what we were doing. We ended up going to a Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras party at a restaurant. An otherwise simple dinner turned into an adventure with a great twist and surprise.
We encourage couples to plan at least one date a month and be sure to make it a surprise to increase the mystery. This one simple act can take your relationship to a new level of connection and commitment.