4 Negative Effects of Video Game Addiction on Marriage & Solutions
At that very moment, when you decide to spend the rest of your life together with your partner, your life changes forever— more responsibilities, tight commitments, and giving up your freedom in doing everything alone.
Upon settling down, you will have to do things together with your partner. Be it deciding on a new TV set you should get, or even on personal decisions like taking a lift in your career. Everything you do will affect one another.
Yet, along the way, one may forget that and still do things they think are harmless for their partners.
One of these is being into video games. It’s meant to give you joy and relieve your stress, you see it as a game you enjoy so much, but sometimes, that’s not just the case. There needs to be a balance between video games and relationships.
How a video game addiction can affect your relationship with your partner
1. Less communication & connection
Yes, you can talk while you are playing, but your full attention isn’t there. It’s hard to multitask and concentrate on two things at the same time.
By the way, I’m talking about those husbands addicted to video games who spend more time playing their video games than building relationships and connecting with family.
This is really hard for a wife who is tired of all-day work and yet not being able to spend quality time together with her husband and kids.
2. Feeling undervalued & invalidated
Some husbands would justify video game addiction as their way of relieving stress. There’s definitely no problem with that. Everybody needs to de-stress.
However, it’s different if you play your video games every day and spend most of your time on it. It makes your wife feel that you are just thinking about yourself and what could make you happy. This could be the instance of video games ruining relationships.
How about her? Does she not deserve a bit of your time too? How about your children? Do they not deserve to be cradled in your arms and feel wanted by you?
3. Physically draining & emotionally tormenting
“My husband would rather play video games than spend time with me!”
This could happen, especially if you have children already. Your wife will shoulder all the chores since you are busy acing your games and fine-tuning your video game addiction. There would be times she would need your help over something, and you wouldn’t be there.
Like when she’s cooking dinner while the baby is helplessly crying, she will need you, but you would not be there. It would make her feel that you don’t truly care for your family and her feelings.
4. You will become the number one source of her stress
There is a possibility that video games hurt relationships!
She said ‘Yes’ to marry you with the thought of sharing everything with you. But now it would seem like she’s being pushed away.
Time after time, she’d try and talk to you over it, but because you are so much indulged in your video game addiction, you’d ignore it. Actually, she doesn’t really have problems with you playing.
She’s even thankful that you can de-stress and find peace inside the four walls of your home.
However, if you play like there’s no tomorrow and spend so much time with your video game addiction, you already set aside your role and responsibilities as a father and a husband, the stress that you are taking off from yourself will be the same stress you are putting on to your wife.
What can you do to make things right?
Video game addiction and marriage can be detrimental. So, how to deal with husband addiction to video games. Take a look:
- Decide that you will control your video game addiction and firmly stand on it.
- Talk to your wife about this decision and make her understand how much you’d need her support and encouragement on this.
- Together with your wife, plan a daily schedule to gradually decrease your time on video gaming. You need to plan with your wife so that she’ll be the one to tap you when you get tempted to play more.
- I know it won’t be easy for you to let go of your video game addiction. But think of all the negative impact this video game addiction has caused to your relationship with your family, especially your wife.
- Think of other alternative activities to help you de-stress. Much better if these activities would strengthen the bond you have with your kids and your wife.
- You can still play video games. It’s not like it’s a crime to do that. But remind yourself of your limitations.
- Communication with your partner is very important. In your rough times, don’t dwell on it alone. Talk to your wife so that you can have solid support behind you.
In the video below, Jimmy Evans lays out great principles for good communication skills in marriage. Take a look:
- Lastly, believe in yourself and the decision you made to finally make things lighter, not just for you but for your family too. Deciding on what’s best for everyone is a very admirable thing to do. Your wife will be forever thankful to you for standing on what’s right.
Let me tell you something. A few months ago, I posted my sentiments about this issue in my personal social media. You see, I was once a wife of a video game addicted husband. I was shocked to receive so many private messages from my friends who are in the same boat as me.
A few of them even got separated from their husbands and gave up their marriage. I realized what a huge problem there is in this issue but it’s not being talked about; it’s not adequately addressed.
Marriage is not a walk in the park. It needs both partners to do and act on their part.
When you asked for your wife’s hand, it already became a responsibility for you to think and consider her feelings before you decide on something for yourself. So, find the courage and gently hold that hand you have asked for.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.