How To Reconnect With Your Spouse In 7 Ways
Marriage, or in many cases, parenting, can often take its toll on the sweetest of couples in relationships. Before you know it, the love you once had has withered away, and you and your partner are left wondering… What happened to us? Thankfully, these unwanted situations can be reversed, with enough diligent effort and planning. And it’s not rocket science, nor would it cost you an arm and a leg. Here’s how to reconnect with your spouse in 7 ways:
1) Touch more
The sense of touch releases endorphins and serotonin, the hormones of happiness. When married couples get too busy with their day-to-day, they often neglect this simple yet powerful daily ritual. Try holding hands more, hugging and kissing longer, and literally ‘feel’ the sense of touch the next time you embrace. These subtle gestures will invigorate the juices and senses you guys once had.
Human beings love to procrastinate. If it isn’t important enough or life threatening, we’ll find some excuse to postpone it. Make an effort to actively schedule date nights with your spouse. Make it interesting, go somewhere new, dress up, try some new food and soon you’ll be able to break the routine and make these date nights the thing you look forward to the most in the week.
3) Reconnecting ritual
My brother and his wife had a very interesting ritual. They would sit down on the bed for 10 minutes before sleeping and look into each other’s eyes without breaking contact. Then, they would talk about how they felt during the day. You wouldn’t believe how this simple ritual for reconnecting helped them form such a strong bond together and help them actually have some “we” time together even if the days get super busy.
4) Show appreciation and gratitude
Sometimes we really take our spouses for granted for the things they do. Enough is enough. Start showing small signs of appreciation for everything. You can use little post-it notes, helping with the chores, or simply saying… “Thank you” when he/she does something for you. You can even buy surprise gifts to let your spouse know how much you appreciate and value him/her.
I think human beings are essentially bad listeners. It could be due to our phones and electronic devices, or addiction to social media which cause our attention spans to be so low. The next time you have a conversation with your spouse, make an effort to listen carefully to everything he or she says. Especially the guys, pay attention! Actively listening and acknowledging your partner goes a long way in reconnecting at a deeper level.
6) Revisit the past
One good way to reconnect with your spouse is to revisit an old memory you guys once shared. It could be where you first met, your first dance, your “song” or where you both shared an embarrassing moment. It will remind you of the love you guys once had and strengthen your determination to create new, loving memories as a married couple.
7) Extend foreplay
And last but not least, a tip related to sexual reconnection. Extending foreplay is the easiest way to say: “This is not our routine thingy”. It’s also a great way to break the monotony of boring sexual rituals and produce more intense feelings during your sessions. It will also help you explore parts of your partner which have been neglected; stimulating and activating neural systems which have been left dormant for years. The quality of your lovemaking will affect your relationship at a subconscious level, as well as your ability to reconnect with your spouse.
I hope this article has given you some practical ideas, how to reconnect with your spouse. Remember, you have to put in effort to maintain a strong, sexually-polarized, exciting partnership.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.