Whether you’re having it or not, sex is an important part of any marriage. It’s our most primal form of intimacy and is known to release huge amounts of dopamine that create the sensations which we associate with love.
Unfortunately, a significant number of married couples are either in sexless marriages, or marriages where either one or both the partners aren’t satisfied. In many cases, this lack of sex forces the couple to take matters into their own hands, or their toys.
Why would you bother using sex toys?
Most women, and men, who have used sex toys would agree that they are far more enjoyable than manual masturbation and in a sexless marriage, you’re often lusting for pleasure.
We often think of sex toys as something private, that’s only for us and perhaps even something we wouldn’t want our partner to know about.
But what if you could bring those toys into your marriage?
Turning your personal toys into something that you use together can help you to enjoy sex more, bring you back together and remove the divide between personal and mutual pleasure.
Did you know that nearly 75% of women can’t reach climax through penetration alone? This means that they need external stimulation.
If you’ve found that your sex life has been dull in the past and one of you hasn’t experienced the physical enjoyment that they wanted, sex toys can help to assist. They exist for both women and men, allowing both of you to enjoy the technology at your fingertips.
A study in 2016 by David Frederick, Ph.D., of Chapman University, found that couples who had used sex toys together were more likely to report feeling satisfied with their relationship.
The researchers believe that by bringing the toys into the bedroom the couples were able to become closer, remove boundaries and enjoy sex together.
Dealing with jealousy
One of the most common reasons that married couples give for not being open with their partner about sex toys, or choosing not to use them at all, is jealousy.
Some people can be jealous of their partners using sex toys because it can make them feel like they are not performing well enough for their partners. Of course, this often isn’t the case at all, sex toys work in a different way and should be considered a supplementation rather than a replacement.
The best way to deal with jealousy is to to make it a couples activity. Rather than using them by yourself you could try to have your partner use them on you and vice versa.
Another tactic is to buy an equivalent toy for your partner. That way, you’re not the only one having fun! Once they realize that toys can also be fun for them and that they needn’t replace you, they might be more willing to use them together.
For women you should consider a vibrator as a first toy and for a man you might choose a male masturbator like a Fleshlight. Either of these toys can be used by your partner and that turns what they might see as a selfish replacement into a sexy way to spice up your marriage.