Having a child is a huge decision and responsibility, one should not take it lightly. There are good reasons and bad reasons to have a child. Today we’ll discuss 5 good reasons, and next week we’ll explore 5 bad ones. That being said, there’s always some degree of fear of the future and unknown but like they say there’s never truly a perfect time to have a child.
1.You have love to give
The best motivation for having a child is what you can give a child, rather than what you can get from the relationship. If you see parenthood as an opportunity to pass on the good things you’ve been given (or to provide your child with the love and support you may not have received as a child), you are on the right track. Parenthood is about more than passing on our hereditary genes; it is about passing on values, love, and strengths.
2.You can support your child
What children need most is unconditional love. That being said, children also need food, shelter, and clothing things that cost money. If you struggle to pay your bills each month, have trouble holding down a job, or have a significant amount of debt, consider postponing parenthood. According to a study by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the cost of raising a child from birth to his/her 18th birthday could exceed $200,000 for middle-income families. You don’t have to be super rich to be a good parent, but the costs associated with parenthood are sizable. Being in relatively good financial shape before having a baby will spare you and your child unnecessary stress.
3.You are in a functional, long-term relationship/marriage
In addition to financial stability, relational stability is an important consideration in having a baby. Statistics indicate that children thrive in stable, two-parent homes, especially those with married, biological parents. Consider the health of your marriage/relationship before having a child. If your relationship isn’t healthy now, it is likely to remain unhealthy in the future (unless you and your partner make a firm commitment to get help). If your relationship is filled with hostility, abuse or excess drama, don’t bring a child into that environment. If you are in a reasonably healthy relationship, both you and your child will benefit.
4.You’ve worked through your major baggage
We are all human meaning we are not perfect. But if you haven’t worked through your own significant personal issues such as rejection, abuse, manipulation, anxiety or depression these issues may surface in your interactions with your child. Before you pass on these wounds to your child, do your best to process through major emotional baggage.
5.You’re not sure you’re ready, but really want to be
The thought of having a child should fill you with a little bit of fear. If it doesn’t, you probably haven’t fully comprehended what it means to be a parent. The presence of some doubt isn’t necessarily an indicator that you aren’t ready; it may even be a sign that you are ready. If you are in a reasonably good position to be a parent based on the considerations listed above, don’t let minor fears or feelings of inadequacy hold you back.