Is It Worth Risking Your Happiness for Safety?
Every woman has to make this choice at least once – ‘do I go with the secure route or do I follow my heated passion?’ But, if you are one of the lucky few in the sense that your heart and your head falls for the same person, you do not need to read further.
But lots of us are not that fortunate. We struggle with the most frequently-asked but essential question – ‘Do I play it safe, get married, have kids, and enjoy the stable life living in the suburban house or do I leave the relationship when it has run its course?
Do not get me wrong, a suburban house with a white picket fence is worth dreaming of but only if that is what your heart tells you, not because your biological clock is ticking.
Is it worth risking your happiness for safety?
One of my good friends has everything she ever wanted when she was a kid. She has a great family, beautiful kids and double high-income household. I asked if she is happy. Her answer is “it is okay, I guess”. Does it sound like happiness to you? I don’t think so. Ultimately, the question is: “Is safety worth it?”.
The answer probably depends on the type of person you are.
For risk-averse person, you will probably say yes, for those who live for the moment, the answer is probably no. No one can tell you what makes you happy. Only you know that. Listen to your heart. Deep inside you already know what you desire.
If having a boring life makes you happy then who am I to judge? It only becomes a problem when a boring domestic marriage sucks the life out of you, but you decide to stay anyway just because it is safe?
You are afraid that you will never find someone again. You are afraid that you will end up being alone. You are afraid… And before you know it, life passes you by…
Is there any possibility your life will turn out the way you plan?
There is a possibility that might happen, Yes! But, chances are there that you are so bored in your marriage, you end up alone anyway, or a lifetime of unhappiness, which is even worse, don’t you think?
But if you choose to live the life you want to, there is a chance that you will actually be happy, not just because what other people think you are.
Life can be filled with passion, with love blooming in the air.
Are you brave enough to embrace everything that falls in your platter?
Ordinary mundane things can become exciting, and full of surprises, only when you are brave enough to choose what you want and hold responsibilities to what comes up.
Don’t get me wrong! You should build up a financial cushion for yourself to be independent (which we will get to that in one of the post later on). But other than that, don’t play it safe against what your heart tells you, especially in relationships.
I hope you never have to ask yourself – What could have been? So, go get your heart broken, breaking a few hearts along the way, settle down when you absolutely want to and hopefully, the other feel the same way at the same time. That is another important point that we get to later on.
Fear compels people to make choices against their free will
Social pressure has been brutal on women.
Some of us make choices based on fear. But do remember that you only live once, most people regret things they did not do, not the things they did. Make sure the moment you are going to die, when life splashes in front of you, you can smile contently and tell yourself,: ” I did live, I did love and look how much fun I did have”.
I hope you would not have to whisper to yourself, “I wish I did…”.
I am not advocating you to go out there, dating the random dangerous bad boy you pick up on the street. I am simply saying give your heart room to breathe, do not choose someone just because you think he is safe or vice versa, not giving someone a chance just because you think he is not.
Only time can tell you that.
There is no negative correlation between passion and safety. You should strive for both.
Who makes your heartbeat racing, who makes your eyes sparkle, who make your toes curl, who with the stupidest thing make you laugh? Who makes you feel vulnerable and safe at the same time? And who pops up in your head when you read these lines?
You will know where your heart belongs. Loving someone means having the risk of getting hurt but, would you rather not feel anything at all?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.