Work as a Team to Prevent Failed Marriage
So many marriages fail because the partners are working against one another rather than together. In a failed marriage, one may feel as though they’re superior and deserve things to be their way. One may feel as though they’re putting forth the most effort. At the end of the day, does this really matter? Why allow minor things such as who does/gives what interfere with a union that is designed or permanence? Is it really that serious? If we shift our focus and view our marriage as a partnership where we work as a team rather than seeing it as a competition where we compare every detail, progress can be made.
Marriage replaces the I/me/my with us/we/ours
If you wish to build a lasting harmony and love in your marriage, no longer can you have a selfish mindset and expect it all to be about you. That is not realistic nor how it works. Both partners must feel as though they’re just as valuable as the other. Despite what many say, men like to feel wanted and appreciated just as women. Society gives a false sense of what marriage/relationships should be, which has clouded judgment on many women’s behalf. They begin to think that it’s their way or no way. Thus, the saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. What happened to the husband? Does he not matter in this equation?
If we realized that “We Are One”, our words and actions would change drastically. We’d be less likely to inflict hurt on one another because it would be hurting ourselves. Our level of open/honest communication would increase because no one wants to play the guessing game or be filled with uncertainty and doubt. Thought would be put into our words before being expressed because very few speak ill of themselves.
Makings of a strong union
A failed marriage scenario can easily be averted. We all have the makings of a strong union if we value our mate as we do ourselves and place them at the same level of value. There is no I in T.E.A.M. = Together Each Accomplishes More.
Stop keeping tabs
Although you may be able to handle things on your own, it’s less stressful when you don’t have to. Let’s remember we’re not competitors. Stop keeping tabs on who does/gives what because it’s a joint effort. There will be times where one is more involved in certain aspects than the other, but that’s ok. You’re both working towards the same goal which is a successful, lifelong marriage. Don’t micromanage your spouse as they deal with enough of that on the job. Rather than focus on where he/she is weak, praise their strengths. If you find yourself being overly critical of how they do certain things simply because it’s not your way or to your liking, try doing it yourself. No biggie. Teammates play multiple positions all in an effort to secure the win. They are flexible and prefer to be where the greatest need is at the moment.
Be open and willing to compromise
Change is guaranteed in life, but growth is optional. Whatever you go through, good or bad, use it as a learning tool. If you fail at some things, try a different approach. Don’t be quick to discard and replace. Take the time to repair and rebuild. Besides, you wouldn’t give up on yourself!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.