Why is the ‘One Soulmate’ Concept Flawed?
From ages, books, folk tales, plays and movies, all have revolved around the protagonists’ quest of finding their soulmates. How wonderful is the adrenaline rush that we get from imagining/fantasizing romance and adventures through our rose tinted glasses. These stories have affected us so deeply that we want our lives to be like that. Most of us hope that someday a prince charming would walk into our lives and change everything and make us feel complete.
But realistically, is it even possible? Do you think there is only a single person out there who is completely compatible with you, who can make your life better? Well, let’s hope not.The chances of finding a single person in the whole universe who is made just for you are quite lean.
Does that mean we stop searching for love altogether?
Now, if we believe that there is nobody waiting for us, it takes the thrill out of searching for love. If there is no special person with whom we are meant to fall in love with, then there is nothing that differentiates love from feelings of usual attraction and liking. So, if there is nothing special about love, then why look for it?
The concept of love seems incomplete without the soulmate aspect. However, this is far from the truth, the girth of real love is so much deeper than the folklore fantasy of soulmates. Real love is finding someone you like and building a relationship that lasts through good and bad times alike. It takes grit determination, difficult sacrifices and endless adjustments to make a relationship strong enough to endure that. But along with hardships, love also brings happiness, satisfaction and a warm sense of belongingness. Love is worth your time and effort but, associating unrealistic expectations like finding a soulmate is simply a wrong interpretation of real love.
When you move over from the childish concept of soulmates, you will realize that real love is quite different from what you had imagined it to be. The person who makes your heart flutter, who looks attractive, who is a popular social butterfly, with whom you feel excited might not be the one who you should be with. Your body and heart might show signs that he is the ‘one’ but, he really might not be. In real love you should rely on your logical judgement, the person you choose might not be the most good looking person you know but he should be caring towards you, he should be compatible with you. Years down line when the romance and the passion fades in your relationship, you should still want to be with him. Realistic love is not about temporary excitement, it’s about a long term, durable partnership between two committed people.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.