What Is Intimacy in Marriage?
Is it the togetherness, companionship, emotional closeness or the physical aspect of intimacy aka sex? Actually, intimacy in marriage is all these things by definition. We may classify intimacy into two parts
- Emotional Intimacy
- Physical Intimacy
Though both emotional and physical intimacy are essential for a happy marriage, generally men are more interested in physical intimacy and women are more interested in emotional intimacy.
What happens if there is a lack of intimacy in marriage?
Well if there is no intimacy in marriage, especially emotional intimacy, the relationship is on its deathbed and it’s only matter of time when it will expire.
Why emotional intimacy Is more important to women?
By nature, women need a feeling of emotional security. They love when they can count on someone emotionally.
For women, emotional intimacy is like a cake and physical intimacy is the icing on the cake. There is no point of icing a cake when there is no cake.
Why a man should try to build emotional intimacy in marriage?
It’s like give and take. You give your wife emotional intimacy and as a result, she will return back the favor with physical intimacy. It is a win-win for both the husband and the wife.
How a man can build intimacy in marriage?
1. Show respect to your wife
Respect is the number one thing a woman wants in a love relationship.
Respect her feelings, judgments, dreams, and decisions. Show her that you respect her by listening to her attentively and by not telling jokes on her cost.
2. Spend time with her
She will love when you will spend time with her. She wants your undivided attention, so put away the phones, turn off the screens and have a heart to heart conversations with her. Listen to her dreams, goals, and fears. Open up and tell her your own deep feelings.
Share an activity like reading a book, exercising, watching a movie, playing a game or whatever both of you like. Let her choose how she wants to spend time with you and be genuinely happy to fulfill her desire.
3. Say ‘I Love You” again and again
Women need reassurances a lot, therefore listening to your confession of love once is not enough for her. She knows you love her but say it again it again she really needs to listen to it.
4. Know her love language
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages including physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation and quality time. Everybody feels most loved when loved in their preferred love language.
Know the love language of your wife and show her love in that language. Ask your wife to take this test(https://www.5lovelanguages.com/) to find out her love language.
5. Show physical affection
Nothing turns on a woman than physical affection which is not looking for a reward in return. Be physically affectionate with your partner, touch her lovingly, kiss her and hug her without the intention of getting sex in return.
When she knows that there is no ‘hidden agenda’ behind your love, she might lovingly give you what you want but if she gets to know that you are after something else then your efforts of showing affection become futile.
6. Read these books
In order to know your wife better, I highly recommend reading or listening to the following two books.
- Men are From Mars & Women are From Venus by John Gray
- The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
Both are these books are amazing and give you a very realistic insight into the heart and mind of the opposite gender.
Intimacy in marriage is essential for its success. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are two mutually important parts of intimacy in marriage. For women, emotional intimacy is a prerequisite to physical intimacy.
A man can build intimacy in marriage by respecting his wife, spending time with her, verbally expressing his love, knowing his love language, and by being physically affectionate to her. Reading the books, men are from Mars and women are from Venus by John Gray and the five love languages by Gary Chapman are also helpful in knowing how to build intimacy in marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.