Back in time marriages were very simple. Companionship, economic stability, societal acceptance and a family was all that was expected from a marriage. Marriages at that time actually lasted for a lifetime.
Time changed, people evolved and so did the bond of marriage. But the evolution of marriage did no good. Marriage became complicated and difficult to survive. But why did that happen? Modern marriage is supposed to be a union between two people who choose each other by themselves to spend their entire lifetime. Then how can modern marriages be so hard?
Rise in expectations
In recent times, the concept of marriage has been romanticized to a great extent. Passion, romance and love have assumed integral importance in modern marriages. Every person looks for intense physical and emotional connection with their partners. But, they also look for economic stability, family values, societal acceptance and all other traditional marriage related factors. Having such diverse expectations from one person is a tad bit unfair and not entirely feasible to fulfill. This is one of the reasons why modern marriages have become so difficult.
Consequences of abandoning gender roles in marriage
Women traditionally were expected to assume household responsibilities and sacrifice their ambitions for their marriage. But with the emergence of concepts like empowerment and equality, they now continue pursuing their careers after marriage. However, they are still responsible for a majority of the household chores. They have to bear dual stress from work and home, which sometimes becomes too much to handle and they choose to walk out of the marriage.
Traditionally, the man of the family was the sole bread winner, so he took all the decisions of the family. But that family set up is no longer true. Men and women both earn, so there is no single person who has the authority to make all the family decisions. This scenario often gives rise to disagreements and conflicts and creates stress in the relationship.
Change of intimacy arrangements
Sexual intimacy in traditional marriages was more of a duty and an act of procreation. But in modern marriages, sexual intimacy is an act to derive pleasure and to feel connected with your partner. In time, intimacy routines lose their charm and the pleasure quotient falls. When that happens, modern married couples feel dissatisfied with their sex lives. For traditional couples, they never really associated sex with pleasure so they never felt dissatisfied because of that. But for modern couples, unsatisfactory sex is a big deal which has adverse affects on their marriages.
Modern marriages are difficult and face many more challenges compared to traditional marriages. But with some patience and understanding, modern marriage can survive through tough times. The secret to a happy modern marriage is to keep your expectations low and to keep your mind open.