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Patience Is A Virtue, Right?

Patience Is A Virtue, Right?

Well, in a relationship, it absolutely is. I am flashing back to a moment when my partner and I were having an argument about talking to each other across the house. Bear in mind, we have nicknamed our house “The Dollhouse” because it is shaped like one and about the same size. Somehow, we’ve managed to live in it for the past four years with the two of us, two dogs, and five cats, but it’s still a tight squeeze.

Anyway, she was upset with me because I would try to have a conversation with her when she was upstairs, and I was downstairs. Every other sentence was met with the question “What?” It was infuriating for both of us, but it didn’t change either of our positions in “The Dollhouse.”

This initiated a small spat between the two of us. She was upset that I hadn’t come upstairs to talk and just overall irritated at having a conversation on different floors. I was less than happy because she consistently tries to talk to me when we are on different floors and that’s alright.

So, we hashed it out. Now, by hashed out, I mean that I stubbornly insisted that it was the same situation, just reversed. She maintained that it was not an efficient way to communicate.

I could not get it through my head that what she was trying to say was that she only does it when it’s a quick “Do you know where the remote is?” or “Did the dryer just go off?” or “Did [one of the pets] just vomit?” I, however, was trying to have a full blown conversation.

The argument ended with us just throwing our hands up at each other and walking away until we were both cooled down. Then nothing really came of it.

Until the next time, she said something while she was upstairs and I was down. I may or may not have lost my head a bit. At which point, she looked at me without any anger in her face, and told me that the difference was at the time, I was trying to have a conversation. All she was asking was if I could toss her hair straightener up for her.

It was in that moment that I realized a few things:

  • One, I finally understood what she meant and that there was a difference between the two situations
  • Secondly, I had married a very patient woman.

In spite of our argument, my thick headedness, and losing my head in that moment, she remained patient with me. It took me awhile to get there, but she knew I would, so she waited. She waits for me to understand her when I don’t at first.

This situation forced me to realize how important patience is in a relationship. Remember to be patient with each other, and have faith that they will eventually see your side of things. You may have to prompt them a few times to see things differently, but persist and they just might eventually.

  VERIFIED EXPERT
Craig is a licensed professional counselor. He helps people struggling with problems such as anxiety, conflict, depression, family problems, men’s issues and LGBTQ’s issues. He helps his clients become the best version of themselves. He makes people realize their strengths and unique attributes that can later help them combat challenges in their lives.
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