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Recently, a video featuring the unsullied Tom Brady and wife Giselle Bündchen got extremely popular. The couple were seen hand in hand on a date in Boston. This video helps to put the rumors to rest about an impending divorce. The real highlight should have been that a married couple (who are also parents) were taking the time out to date each other. Maybe the average couple should take a lesson.
Dating your spouse is a genius idea. Once married, we get tangled in mundane day-to-day routines without even realizing. Schedules get packed, work gets crazy, and then kids are added to the mix. The actual relationship between two people gets buried.
It is so easy to cop out and claim being tired, overworked, stressed, or anxious to get out of your relationship. Don’t fall into this trap. This is how couples grow apart. More excuses cram into the divide, widening it to a huge yawning cavern until it is nearly impossible for two people to find their way back to each other. You need alone time for the two of you. Dating is an absolute must! Here’s how you can get it right:
1. Leave the electronics home
Or in the car at least. Dating your spouse is about spending quality time together; this does not include checking Facebook or email. Instead, have conversations, make eye contact and share an experience.
2. Keep it simple
Grand gestures are outlandish and rarely practical. Just find an activity. Maybe both of you want to take a cooking class or catch whatever the action movie of the month is. You don’t even have to spend money, take a walk on the beach and pack a cooler. Simple activities allow for more one-on-one interaction without jarring disturbances.
3. Physical contact is a must
This doesn’t mean sex. Hold hands, share a kiss and cuddle during a movie. Physical distance can become emotional distance. It may take several goes where you have to remind yourself to touch, but the habit will quickly form and you’ll enjoy just being near each other.
4. Put the date on the schedule
Sure, all spontaneity goes right out the window, but if you don’t build the date into your schedule, it will be too easy to just brush it aside for something else. Make date night a regular thing; it could be weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly (don’t go beyond that). Just get it on the schedule and call the babysitter.
Life happens. Just be careful to not let it happen while your relationship falls apart. Tom and Giselle have the right idea. Date your spouse.