Is Your Job Wrecking Your Marriage?
Phil and Susan had big dreams when they got married. They wanted to live in an exquisite villa, they wanted to holiday in exotic locations and they wanted to buy a flashy car. To fulfill these dreams, Phil took up a job which paid handsomely but its working hours were excruciatingly long. Phil was ambitious; he thought this was a small price to pay for a lavish life.
In 5 years, he had bought an impressive house and a beautiful car. Along with that he had also saved enough for a long luxurious trip to Europe. But during their trip, Phil and Susan had nothing to talk about. In all these years they had become different people. Phil realized not only had his wife become estranged, he saw resentment in her eyes. Despite of being married for a long time, he hadn’t spent as much time with her as he should have. Long hours of work and professional commitments had kept him so busy, that he didn’t realize that his relationship with Susan was dying.
Your job can overshadow your marriage
Most people believe that the ultimate goal of a romantic relationship is getting married. Post marriage, after achieving their so called “ final relationship ambition”, they start prioritizing other things before their relationship. Then, their focus tends to get riveted to generating income, maintaining a good lifestyle and fulfilling materialistic aspirations. This is where work begins to overshadow marriage.
Considering marriage as the final step of relationship is fundamentally wrong. It is like saying, getting a job is the final step to earning money. Similar to a job, marriage also requires continuous work and efforts.
But the inexorable need for a better lifestyle often overwhelms the need for a healthy marriage. People get swayed with desire for more money and therefore get swamped with more work, leaving no time or energy for a relationship.
Saving marriages from the impacts of professional life
If your job is hectic and strenuous, then like Phil’s, your marriage might have become vulnerable too. But don’t be alarmed, there is a chance of redemption. All you have to do to save your marriage from the ill effects of your professional life, is to identify the damages that are being caused and rectify them.
Damaging effects of work on marriage
1. You are always tired
When you have a stressful job, you always get home tired. You have no energy to go out, have a conversation or indulge in kind of activity. Physically you might be present with your spouse but mentally you are tuned out. Therefore, you don’t spend as much quality time with your spouse as you should.
2. You mostly just converse about work
Since you spend majority of your time at work, you don’t have much left to think or talk about apart from work. Your conversations with your spouse also tends to be just about what goes around in your workplace. Over time your spouse can get exasperated with that and might just withdraw from your conversations completely. This is unhealthy for a relationship.
3. You become irritable
A stressful job makes you irritable. The pent up anger and irritation of your workplace might just unleash itself on your spouse. In that case your spouse will also get angry and your relationship will get strained.
4. You miss out on important events
If you have a job where you can not take leaves when you want to, you might miss out on some crucial family events and things that are important to your spouse. This can make them feel abandoned and is extremely damaging for your marriage.
If you make conscious efforts to rectify the damaging effects of work and build a healthy work-life balance, your marriage will get back its strength. It will become blissful and secure like before.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.