How Successful Couples Survive the Holidays

How Successful Couples Survive the Holidays

November to January tends to be a stressful time.  The higher the stress level is, the worse we are to our partners.  So how do you juggle staying connected with all the other responsibilities that come around the holidays?

Be a Couple First

The highest stress of the holidays is to meet everyone’s expectations.  You have his side of the family, her side of the family, work parties, friends, and kid’s activities.  Even typing it, I felt all the stress that comes from each of those things.  In a marriage those things are not top priority.  You two are.

Take a moment to sit down and share with each other what is important for each of you over the holidays.  What matters the most?  Is it events, family, food, etc.?  Then slot those things into your schedule first and decide how much time you want to give to other activities that might come up and schedule yourselves accordingly.  The point is that the two of you decide together and then inform other people when you are available and what activities you will participate in.  

Celebrate each other

One of the most romantic things I remember as a child was that my dad would take my mom out to breakfast on Christmas Eve Day.  It was a tradition, the two of them together without children no matter how much we begged.  It taught me how important it is to be a couple.  Take some time to be together, just the two of you.  Whether it’s shopping together, going for a walk together, or a coffee break together set aside time that is private to celebrate the two of you.  

Don’t forget traditions

Often when we remember the holidays, we remember the traditions.  The two of you are unique individuals with different families which means that you both have traditions which are important to you.  A great date night is to talk about what you remember from childhood and what is important to you to continue and pass on to your children.  It is also a great idea to talk about traditions you might want to start that are unique to the two of you.  

The holidays can be merry and happy instead of filled with stress and obligations. These little tips can help you start to create your own special memories and fill the air with peace and joy.

Trish one of the leading psychotherapists in the Waterloo region. She currently works as a registered psychotherapist the HELPPS psychotherapy services. She uses evidence based interventions from a variety of modalities including EFT and CBT to help people get over their personal and relationship problems. She believes people are more than just their problems and so she supports them in recovering from the heart issues rather than just the symptoms.
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