How Rom-Coms Screw Our Relationships
Who doesn’t like to watch a feel-good romantic movie lying on the the family couch with some popcorn and drinks on a lazy sunday afternoon. Rom-coms make you laugh, they make you cry, overall they make you feel happy and light. They are great to watch. The concoction of a heart warming story, sizzling chemistry between the leads and a tinge of humor is what a perfect rom-com consists of and we as audience, enjoy it thoroughly.
But have you ever wondered if there is a discrepancy in the way relationships are portrayed on the silver screen and how they are in reality. Believe it or not hollywood has the power to influence the public and these ‘innocent’ romantic movies affect what people think and expect out of relationships in real life.
Romantic movies are usually made around two people, who are destined to be together. The universe pushes them together and everything falls in place magically. By the end of the movie they realise that they are in love and they should be together. But does that happen in reality? No. Relationships don’t just happen on their own and the universe doesn’t prompt you the name of the person you are meant to be with. You have to work to build and sustain relationships, it’s not just about the thrill and the passion, it’s also about hardwork and commitment. This aspect is not given much importance on screen, which is understandable because people go for movies to have a good time and not watch serious real life struggles. Movies seem like such a harmless, enjoyable part of our lives but nevertheless they subconsciously skew the way we see our relationships. The glamour and adrenalin rush that we experience through rom-coms makes us feel the need to have something similar in our love lives, they unfairly increase our expectations from relationships.
Here are some unrealistic relationship ideas that popular rom-coms have been propagating for long:
1. People change for love
There are n-number of hollywood movies where a bad boy falls in love with a good girl and completely changes himself to be with her. Popular movies like Ghost of Girlfriends Past, Made Of Honor and 50 First Dates, all have a male lead who is a player by nature until he meets the girl he is meant to be with. He transforms into this mushy and sensitive person and the girl forgets everything about his past personality and gets together with him.
In reality, nothing can be more distant from the truth. Such movies have been screwing the love lives of so many young women for a long time now. People don’t change for anybody apart from themselves. Yes, there can people who might pretend to change to win the heart of their beloved, but that never lasts.
2. Relationship with a sex-buddy
In modern times, this arrangement has become very popular. People get physically intimate with friends, with whom they don’t have any special relationship and this has no romantic implication on their relationship. But in movies like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached the male and the female lead are friends who become sexually involved without romantic feelings but at the end ultimately get into a love relationship. This gives the impression to people that those who become sex-buddies ultimately get romantically involved. There are a lot of young people who agree to this sex-friend arrangement in the hopes that their friend at some point of time will fall for them. But that might not happen and it can leave them heartbroken at that time.
3. Relationship with someone who uses you to make their ex jealous
People resort to all sorts of ways to get back with their exes and one of them is to make them jealous by getting closer to another person. They don’t actually get together with the other person, they just pretend and put a show for their ex. The other person has nothing to gain out of this. But in movies like A Lot Like Live and Addicted to Love, they show that while pretending to be in love, the lead pair actually falls in love with each other. So with this knowledge people who are secretly in love with a person agree to take participate in this pretending game. What they don’t realize is that their friend might never reciprocate their feelings, which can leave them feeling hurt.
These are a few common romantic movie cliches, that have steered us away from how real relationships should be like. This leads to disappointment and resentment, and leaves us with unnecessary bitter experiences. Have realistic expectations and don’t let movies complicate your romantic relationships.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.