After being with Lily for 5 long years, Daniel was sure that she was the one with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. She was so warm, funny and beautiful. She made him happier than he had ever been. One night he drove her to the fanciest restaurant in town and popped the question, “Will you marry me?”. Lily was elated; with teary eyes she screamed “Yes”. What more could she have asked for, she was going to walk the aisle with the love of her life. So what, if sometimes he made jokes at her expense in front of their friends or interrupted to correct her sentences or forgot to switch off the microwave owen. Sure it’s annoying, but it didn’t affect their relationship and would definitely not affect their marriage.
15 years later Lily was sitting in a lawyer’s office, with divorce papers in her hands. She wondered how their intense love had succumbed to the test of time. How his little bad habits, which merely annoyed her earlier, now drove her crazy. In these 15 years, Daniel too, had become apathetic to Lily’s wants and feelings. He did nothing to make her feel her good, infact he fostered new bad habits which maddened her even more. Lily was always angry and Daniel was tired of her inexorable enraged outbursts. Both of them had become miserable. There was only one way out – divorce.
After the end of their long bittersweet marital journey, they finally knew everything about marriage.
1. Marriage does not cure a person of their bad habits
When you get married to a person, you have to accept them with their bad or annoying habits. There is no escape because in time these habits will likely get worse as they slip into their comfort zones. Gradually, as days go by, your annoyance will compound and will make you more and more angry.
2. People change and so will your spouse
As we age, we change. We acquire some traits and let go off some. Some traits possessed by your partner which you loved might get lost over the years. Or he/she might acquire some trait which drives you nuts. So for your marriage to work, make sure you and your partner don’t evolve separately.
3. Only love cannot keep a marriage together
Love is an emotion. But is it sufficient to keep a marriage going? No! Because as time goes by, the passion can diminish and other practical aspects of life gain priority. Respect, money and understanding become more significant.
4. Marriage should not cause misery
There is no point being together when two people are not happy in a relationship. Marriage is not meant to cause misery. If it is causing that, then probably it is time to walk out when things become absolutely irreconcilable.