‘Opposites attract each other‘- Perhaps, a classic maxim believed since ages about love.
From single pals to married couples, young lovebirds to old aged people; almost everyone believes this adage to be true. People often look for partners who have the opposite traits.
Furthermore, since decades back several books have been penned down by relationship experts and consultants on this saying.
However, at the same time, there have been people who have argued that ‘what is true of magnets is not really true of romance.’ They have argued and criticised the maxim saying it is against the natural inclinations and behavior of a human being.
A very famous book; namely “Great Myths of Intimate Relationships: Dating, Sex, and Marriage,” by Matthew D.Johnson, (Binghamton University, State University of New York ) opposes it in depth.
So the question that arises here is, do opposites really attract each other? The answer to this question as well as an end to the debate has been put by scientists and researchers after long extensive research.
The ‘paradigm shift’ for understanding relationships, and the research generating the ‘meta-analysis’ declared homogamy as the clear winner.
It has been now scientifically proven that we, as humans, feel attracted towards similarities rather than differences.
Thus, it further roots up for the idea that partners with similarities would feel more attracted towards each other and comparatively make a more romantic couple.
Why is that so?
I love the way we are so alike. You probably have heard this sentence at some point in your life; perhaps, as a friend, a colleague or maybe a family member.
The sole existence of these words to proves that people generally like the ones who happen to be somewhat similar to them.
Partners tied in a knot by marriage too exhibit this behavior. This is mainly because of the fact that when spouses are similar in terms of habits, values, beliefs, financial stability, attitudes, areas of interests, and other personality traits including likes and dislikes, they are more likely to be on the same page of a book.
By being on the same page of a book, an irrefutable attraction is experienced, and the relationship develops in a positive manner.
This shows that husbands and wives when similar tend to understand each other better since they find it comparatively easier to put themselves in the shoe of their partner.
It becomes easier to resolve conflicts
Being similar to your spouse also makes it very easier for the both of you to cope up with almost all sorts of arguments and fights; that too is comparatively less likely to happen in the first place due to a very developed mutual understanding.
It has also been observed that couples that show more similarities than differences, comparatively have a livelier relationship. Indeed, the ideology behind the axiom, ” Birds of a feather always flock together. ” is the best that fits in here.
There is no hidden truth that if you have an adventurous spirit, and a choice between going for a partner; one that exhibits the similar personality trait or a partner who is rather not up for any such thing, would not you pick up the former?
Our biological programming and the obvious benefits of having a partner with more similarities than differences make us naturally feel inclined towards the ‘likes’ than the ‘opposites.’
However, it is important to know that similarities may be appreciated, but the differences between you and your spouse are meant to be respected.