Are You Your Ideal Gay Partner’s Ideal Gay Partner?
Part of the profiling Jacqueline Burns does as a gay matchmaker at The Echelon Scene entails asking clients to describe the person they are looking for.
When gay matchmaking, we ask about lifestyle – are you a social/creative/travel focused person? Do you enjoy country or city living? Do you want children? Where do you see your career and yourself in five years, ten years, retirement?
Sometimes, a disconnection is observed between someone’s needs and their own preferences. We have seen when gay matchmaking that balance is important in any gay long-term relationship. It’s good to have someone who challenges you and expands your horizons, but it’s no good if you don’t want the same things.
Sometimes when we imagine our gay long-term partner, we take ourselves out of the equation. We might imagine a hunky actor, with dashing good looks and 15 years younger than us. However, Jacqueline Burns notes the importance of values when gay matchmaking. If this person, you are visualizing, doesn’t match your core values, the relationship will not last.
If the man of your dreams is a super high flier who enjoys working long hours jetting around the world, attending dinner parties and events, wherein you love relaxing at home, cooking meals or someone to hunker down with and have the occasional cozy night in with a glass of red and watch movies, then you guys are a complete mismatch.
As gay matchmakers, we ask that you –
1. Start with yourself
Put yourself first in the picture of your future. Remember that you, too, are an intelligent, attractive long-term partner that someone is looking for.
Once you have a clear picture of what you, yourself are seeking in a gay long-term partnership, then…
2. Imagine who would best fit into that picture with you
You can forget their physical appearance, even though physical chemistry is important, but for the time being, focus on their core values.
Who is the ideal person who would fit into your ideal world?
As gay matchmakers, we want to remind you, we are who we are and we like what we like. Small habits are changeable, but core personality isn’t so readily altered. So, keep this in mind when trying to find a gay husband.
3. Be aware of your core values
At The Echelon Scene, we divide our core values into these categories and highlight which are the most important to us – career, family, friends, fun/recreation, religion, finances, and physical environment.
Each value will be important to us on some level, but some stand out more than others. Once we are aware of our own core values, it is easier to embark upon gay matchmaking services such as The Echelon Scene or to start dating on our own.
The focus should be on finding someone who complements these values.
4. Decide what worked and what didn’t work in previous relationships
What values did your ex-partner have which you appreciated? Write this down. Past relationships are there for us to learn from.
So, when considering your future with your gay long-term partner we suggest the first approach – start from the beginning, start with your own dreams, and build from there.
As they say, if you build it and envisage it, they will come. In this case, we hope ‘they’ will be a handsome, genuine, gay man who is compatible with you. And we can help you meet someone compatible, with gay matchmaking we have access to thousands of eligible gay men globally and know what compatible looks like.
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