Thoughts on Paris from a Marriage Therapist

Thoughts on Paris from a Marriage Therapist

I originally planned this month’s feature to include a picture I took a few weeks ago while in Paris, of a young couple taking wedding photos under the Eiffel Tower. Today, in the wake of terrorist violence in that beautiful city, I saw another picture of armed militia standing in the same spot. Safety is an illusion in today’s world. One day we’re talking about love and romance, the next we’re talking about death and destruction.


Acts of violence are happening around the globe. My heart goes out to the people of Paris, Beirut, Baghdad, Syria and Kenya—all of whom have experienced terror and loss of lives in the past week.


IMG_1349Only love can heal a hurting planet

The work that I teach to couples is to go “over the bridge” to each other to see and understand their reality and truth with curiosity and empathy.


This is a healing practice not only for married couples experiencing conflict. Imagine if nations could “go over the bridge” to one another, moving from fear and hatred of our differences to a deeper understanding and compassion for one another? It’s a tall order, but only love can heal a hurting planet.


I am moved today by the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”


My most sincere hope is that you will practice exquisite self care, deep courage, and loving acts toward those you meet on your journey. Remember to hug those close to you at your Thanksgiving gathering and pause to reflect on all you have to be grateful for.

Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT, “The Couples Therapist”, has been working with couples and families for over 25 years through her private practice in West Los Angeles, California. Her work focuses on helping couples rediscover the joy of being together, deepen communication and resolve conflict.
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