Love isn’t easy when your partner is stationed across the globe. Nights are long without your sweetheart, so it’s no surprise that military spouses sometimes carries the weight of the world on their shoulders. It isn’t always easy to be married to a military partner, but it is always worth it to give your spouse your best. Whether you are the one being stationed or the partner left behind, being in a military relationship helps you appreciate every moment you get to spend with your mate and look at Veteran’s Day with a whole new perspective. Whether you’re in the service, a military wife, or a respectful onlooker, here are 5 things Veterans Day teaches us about relationships
Common struggles in military marriage
Ask any married person serving their country and they will tell you that it isn’t easy to be a military spouse, no matter which side of the coin you’re on. If you think the average marriage is hard, then a military marriage is ten times the work. In fact, those who are in military marriages have common struggles to keep their marriages happy and healthy. Here are the most common struggles faced by military spouses.
1. It’s hard to plan for the future
One of the frustrating trials of a military marriage is how difficult it is to plan for the future. Scheduling vacation and family get-togethers all revolve around a constantly changing schedule.
2. Starting a family
Many military couples have children together, however, the planning process requires couples to consider if one will be sent off to serve during the birth of the child or during other milestone moments. Raising a child alone, or with your spouse overseas for months at a time can be difficult for both parties.
Cheating is a common temptation for all married couples but seems especially present in military marriages. Being away from your spouse for months at a time means long periods of loneliness that can make couples more likely to drift apart and find someone closer to bond with.
4. Duty comes first
A military personnel is trained to put their jobs before everything else, which may involve their marriage. This can be a difficult thing to accept for the other marriage mate.
5. You move constantly
It is estimated that a child of a military family will move anywhere from 6-9 times between kindergarten until graduation. Losing friends and moving away from family can take a toll on families, especially those with young children.
6. Military risks
Of course, those who serve in the military understand that there is a risk of injury or death while in the line of duty. Understandably, this can cause strain and worry for marriage mates.
Things Veterans Day teaches us about relationships
Those who are married to someone who has retired from their military position or who are actively serving know the hard work and consistent love, patience, and understanding it has taken to keep their marriages alive. Here are 5 things those in military marriages teach the rest of us about maintaining a great relationship.
1. Put things in perspective
One of the best things Veterans Day teaches us about relationships is how to put things in perspective. When you live with the risk of your partner getting injured or falling victim to death while they are deployed, it really makes you put the important things in perspective: family, love, and happiness. The little annoyances of daily life don’t matter so much when you are focusing on how to make your partner happy for as long as you have them.
2. Home is where the heart is
Military families move a lot. It can be upsetting to uproot your life, your friendships, your schools, and having to rebuild over and over. But one thing Veterans Day teaches us about relationships is that home is where the heart is. You will make a home over and over again because that is how much your love is worth.
3. Communication is key
Communication is the key to any successful marriage, and all the more so when you have to spend extended periods of time apart. This means taking advantage of electronic devices, text messages, social media, video chat, and romantic care packages. These will show each spouse they are still in one another’s lives on a daily basis even though they must be separated.
This also means learning how to argue effectively. For example, couples should try not to argue while one mate is deployed. The stress of not being able to work out your issues in a timely manner can put extra stress on the marriage. Similarly, you would not want to pick a fight or talk about an important issue the day your mate is coming home from service or deploying out. Learn to argue effectively and lovingly.
4. Cherish the little things
Military spouses know that physical separation is all a part of the lifestyle. This isn’t always easy at first, but it teaches couples to cherish the little things in life. These ones don’t take for granted the wonderful moments they have with their spouse to snuggle on the couch or to wake up and having their morning coffee’s together. They savor the moments they have together to do the mundane, sweet things. As you should, too.
5. Trust is essential
Having your mate leave for long periods of time can get lonely for both mates. This requires trust for both parties involved that the other will not betray the relationship. To do this, military couples have learned to strengthen their support systems and they keep bonding even while they are separated. Aside from talking regularly, many couples stay connected by reading the same book or watching the same show ‘together’ while they are apart. Showing respect and communicating regularly will help you create a strong bond of trust together.
The best things Veterans Day teaches us about relationships is to love our spouses through thick and thin. A military relationship isn’t always easy, but with a little patience, love, and a lot of understanding you will both build a strong, happy marriage.