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Alternative rock’s power couple, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale have called it quits. Back in August TMZ reported that Stefani filed for divorce after thirteen years of marriage, three sons, and nearly twenty years together. Rumor has it that Gavin may have been unfaithful.
This isn’t the first time The Rossdales have had such rumors swirling about them. In 2004 it was confirmed that Gavin had fathered a daughter, model Daisy Lowe with former flame, Pearl Lowe.
In 2010, another scandal came to light when Rossdale admitted he had a homosexual relationship when he was a teenager… that he apparently didn’t disclose to Stefani. Add to that strain, the fact that the pair was reported to not be getting along the last several months, made the marriage irreconcilable.
What can we mortals take away from their experience? Plenty!
1. Be honest
A homosexual dalliance is kind of a big detail to omit from a twenty-year relationship. Granted, they weren’t together when it happened, but for the health and safety of his spouse he should have told her. The same goes for us. We all have some unsavory things in our past that we would like to forget, but if there is a chance (even a slim one) that there may be some long-term repercussions to your actions, go ahead and divulge. Whatever it was may have happened ages before you met your future spouse, but if you think they may be devastated to hear about it years down the road from a third party, your gut is telling you something.
2. Be 100% positive
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, be 100% sure. Have evidence (real evidence, not circumstantial) to back up your claim because that is an accusation you can’t take back. You will only prove yourself insecure and untrusting. If you are wrong, more damage may be done to your relationship than if you were right.
3. Be rational
This is really hard. If you have all the proof in the world that points to infidelity, proceed carefully. DO NOT attack your spouse like a raving lunatic. You will only put them on the defensive and you will accomplish nothing. Your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, you’ve been betrayed, but keep your head. Present your evidence and discuss.
4. Decide what’s best for you
If you truly love your spouse and want to make the relationship work, there is a chance you can fix things. However, most people can’t let go of the hurt, especially if they discovered a full-blown affair rather than a one-night stand. You need to decide if you can live with yourself and if the situation will be good for you (and your kids if you have any) to stay in.
Whatever decision you make, don’t make it while you’re angry. Give yourself time to cool off and become rational again.
On the surface it seems that Gwen and Gavin gave their all; they weathered a lot of difficulties just in public, let alone what went on behind closed doors. The take away is that this can happen to anybody. No matter how long a couple has been together, they can still implode. It’s a shame to see them fall apart, but I for one cannot wait to hear what Gwen writes on her next album.