{"id":99371,"date":"2024-05-10T09:33:28","date_gmt":"2024-05-10T09:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=99371"},"modified":"2024-05-10T09:33:55","modified_gmt":"2024-05-10T09:33:55","slug":"transgender-couples-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-preparation\/transgender-couples-therapy\/","title":{"rendered":"What Are the Different Aspects of Transgender Couples Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Happy<\/p>\n

Relationships are hard. They trigger deep childhood wounds from when our needs weren’t met. It’s a natural part of human life but <\/span>add discrimination, marginalization and confusion about your body and now there’s a whole new layer of struggle. Transgender couples therapy supports navigating those struggles.<\/b><\/p>\n

For successful therapy, you need a safe space where you can be yourself. That’s true for anyone but it’s particularly true for transgender and nonbinary couples who are often shunned by society.<\/span><\/p>\n

But healing and empowerment are possible for everyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What are the common struggles of transgender and nonbinary couples?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

There’s a big difference between biological makeup and the construct of gender. As this Britannica article on<\/span> gender roles<\/span><\/a> explains, the construct has changed over the centuries.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nevertheless, most of us still face deep stereotypes telling us how to behave because of our biology. This can stifle and damage mental health.<\/b><\/p>\n

But it’s hard to break away from societal pressures and truly be yourself.<\/b><\/p>\n

As such, transgender couples therapy aims to alleviate the discomfort felt between the messages you might be receiving from your family and the community around. It also supports <\/span>couples to affirm<\/span><\/a> their identities. <\/span><\/p>\n

Other struggles that therapy for transgender couples focuses on also include roles within the relationship.<\/b> These can be especially confusing when one partner either transitions to nonbinary within the relationship or wishes to transition physically.<\/span><\/p>\n

And of course, <\/span>there’s the discrimination as well as the anger and pain that goes with it.<\/b> There is no easy answer but transgender couples therapy is a way to work through these issues that works for each unique couple.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is Gender Dysphoria?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Lesbian<\/p>\n

As detailed in this article on<\/span> what is gender dysphoria<\/span><\/a> by the American Psychiatric Association, the term is in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR).<\/span><\/p>\n

Gender dysphoria is the extreme discomfort one experiences because of the difference in how one identifies with felt gender versus assigned gender.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

Most importantly, our mental state, perhaps even our consciousness according to some radical psychologists, is intertwined with our environments. That includes culture and society.<\/span><\/p>\n

Therefore,<\/span> gender identity counseling for couples doesn’t need to view gender dysphoria as a sickness to “fix.” It’s a journey to align emotions, self-image, body, and beliefs. <\/b><\/p>\n

Within that journey, everyone has different experiences, including wanting to remove or change genitalia, associating with the feelings of another gender and not connecting with the current body and more.<\/span><\/p>\n

Through therapy, such confusing thoughts and feelings can be worked through for greater ease in life.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Family interactions and systems<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Even before we are born, assumptions and stereotypes about genders are being practiced according to whether families expect a boy or a girl. <\/b><\/p>\n

Other families choose not to find out the sex of the baby before they are born.<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps, as this<\/span> paper on whether it is a boy or a girl or simply a child<\/span><\/a> suggests, parents consciously and unconsciously play a large role in sex-determining their child.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

Depending on your family, you will have some deep beliefs about gender. When these don’t align with who we are inside, it’s a tough journey to let go of those beliefs.<\/b> And so we have transgender couples therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Moreover, your partner might have another set of beliefs to work through together. <\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to couples therapy for transgender individuals, you’ll explore your deep wounds around gender and identity but you’ll also review family interactions and relational impact.<\/span><\/p>\n

In other words, the best therapists take an<\/span> integrative family therapy<\/span><\/a> approach where they can hold the various interacting forces of family, socio-economic, social, political, cultural, and environmental factors.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>What Is Polysexuality: Major Signs & Challenges<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

<\/span>Social and political influences and pressures<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

As a legal company’s<\/span> article on transgender rights<\/span><\/a> details, the LGBTQ+ are facing discrimination more than ever.<\/span><\/p>\n

2023 might have seen an increase in laws to protect the rights of transgender and nonbinary people. Unfortunately, <\/span>2024 is now seeing the release of laws in the US that will continue to marginalize them.<\/b><\/p>\n

Similarly in Europe, there have been some positive legal changes but discrimination persists<\/b>, as this<\/span> article on championing the rights of rainbow families<\/span><\/a> by COFACE Families Europe explains.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

The impact that this context has on mental and emotional health is huge and no one should face it alone. <\/span>Through transgender couples therapy, people can learn to process their emotions in healthy ways.<\/b><\/p>\n

Connecting with communities and support groups can also be a powerful source of comfort and resilience whilst giving a sense of belonging. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Physical transformations in a relationship<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Throughout our lives, we all come across defining moments that question our identities and self-belief. Some ignore it and hold onto their unhealthy defense mechanisms but others work through it and redefine who they are.<\/span><\/p>\n

Transgenders and nonbinary people have an extra challenge because the changes they undergo are often surrounded by misunderstanding and bigotry. <\/span>But all relationships can get through whatever transition if both are willing to work together.<\/b><\/p>\n

Whether one or both of you are on hormone replacement therapy or pre- or post-op, you are still the same person you each fell in love with. <\/span>That’s not to say it’s always a smooth ride. After all, watching your partner shift their identity and even appearance can be disconcerting.<\/b><\/p>\n

The key is to communicate and share your feelings with each other. All change is scary and you might wonder where the relationship will go after the transition.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Young<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, life is full of change and all couples must learn to navigate those changes together. Of course,<\/span> transgender couples therapy can help you understand, for example, how your roles might change or even your physical intimacy.<\/b><\/p>\n

Through therapy or gender-affirming couples counseling, you can also explore how to try out new behaviors with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Furthermore, you’ll learn to support rather than try to control your partner’s fears or emotions. We want to be there for them but whatever decision they make regarding their transition, they need to take the lead for their feelings. And vice versa if you are the one transitioning.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>5 Ways to Find a LGBT Friendly Therapist<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

<\/span>How to find transgender couples therapy<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

On the one hand, <\/span>you’ll read about therapists who offer affirmative therapy. They aim to hold a safe space such that anyone can affirm their gender identity as they wish.<\/b><\/p>\n

Then you have therapists who are themselves part of the LGBTQ+ community.<\/b><\/p>\n

Alternatively, as this<\/span> paper by Pink Practice on affirmative psychology<\/span><\/a> raises, the word affirmative potentially comes with a set of biases. It might also even encourage a potential power play between therapist and client.<\/span><\/p>\n

Choosing the right LGBTQ+ couples therapy is a very personal choice. It takes a bit of research and some trial and error.<\/b><\/p>\n

Most therapists offer a free consultation so you can easily talk to 2 or 3 to compare. You might also want to check if they have any reviews or recommendations.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s also a good idea to ensure that they are certified and licensed. These are two different things in most states and countries. Nevertheless, many countries have a certified database of professional therapists, such as the<\/span> American Psychological Association psychologist locator<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, go with your gut.<\/b> If you feel you can build a rapport and open your heart out during trans-inclusive couples counseling, you’ll be well on the way to getting what you need.<\/span><\/p>\n

To learn more about gender dysphoria, watch this inspiring TED talk by one person’s experience:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n