

{"id":94548,"date":"2024-01-22T14:01:12","date_gmt":"2024-01-22T14:01:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=94548"},"modified":"2024-01-22T14:01:47","modified_gmt":"2024-01-22T14:01:47","slug":"surviving-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/surviving-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving the Holidays: Dr. Venus Nicolino&#8217;s Important Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-94551\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/2227481211-1.jpg\" alt=\"Group of people having fun \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The holiday season is in full swing, and that&rsquo;s typically a time for good cheer, gift-giving, and the warm embrace of a loving family. At least, that&rsquo;s what they say in all those Hallmark cards and movies.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your lived experience might prove otherwise. But Dr. Venus Nicolino believes you can improve the odds of surviving the holidays and having a happy one by changing how you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/363510870_FAMILY_GATHERINGS_AND_FUNCTIONALITY_IN_FAMILIES_WITH_ADOLESCENTS\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">approach family gatherings<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Find out what Dr. Venus has to say about the important tips for the holiday season.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-it%E2%80%99s-important-to-survive-and-thrive-through-the-holiday-season\"><\/span><b>Why it&rsquo;s important to survive and thrive through the holiday season<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the list of occasions for which it&rsquo;s good to have a plan, the holidays definitely rank near the top. They&rsquo;re often an emotional minefield where one misstep &mdash; bringing up past conflicts, for example, or mentioning politics &mdash; can cause explosions, and surviving holidays can become tough if that happens.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Too often, holiday dinners feature a large dish of guilt with a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0887618505000642\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">side of anxiety<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> right there next to the ham and cranberries. Well, surviving the holidays in that kind of atmosphere is challenging.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition to these pitfalls, the holidays also present an opportunity for joy, connection, and creating lasting memories. It&rsquo;s a time when family and friends come together, often reuniting after long periods apart.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-make-memories\/\" title=\"10 Ways to Make Memories &#038; Stay Connected This Holiday Season\">10 Ways to Make Memories &#038; Stay Connected This Holiday Season<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Venus-Nicolino%E2%80%99s-essential-tips-to-thrive-through-the-holiday-season\"><\/span><b>Venus Nicolino&rsquo;s essential tips to thrive through the holiday season<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-94550\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/2303381113.jpg\" alt=\"Parents giving their kids piggybacks \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While arguments about what someone did 20 years ago or who should be president might be inevitable, they don&rsquo;t have to involve you. You have some control over the situation and must ensure you have that control during the holiday season.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Venus Nicolino, the bestselling author and businesswoman who hosts &ldquo;The Tea With Dr. V&rdquo; podcast, said that practicing self-care, accepting holiday chaos, and having the courage to look for a positive connection with family members can all help in surviving the holidays and making the holidays brighter.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Practicing self-care and being OK with saying no<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talking about the holidays, Dr. Venus Nicolino is hitting on a topic that impacts many people. In a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/civicscience.com\/how-stressed-are-americans-this-holiday-season\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">survey by CivicScience<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, 48% of U.S. adults report feeling more stressed during the holidays, while 43% feel more anxious.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The biggest source of stress is around buying gifts, which 46% said raises their stress levels. However, the survey found that spending time with family was the second-highest source. As with most things, everything goes better during a seasonal meetup if you first take time for some self-care.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In an interview, Dr. Nicolino said the holidays are a good time for &ldquo;instilling your sense of self-care and your sense of boundaries. You&rsquo;re allowed to say no to that family gathering and no to people&rsquo;s energy you don&rsquo;t like. You&rsquo;re allowed to say no.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&rsquo;re also allowed to say no to arguments that seem to happen at every holiday function, typically around topics related to politics. Sometimes, the people closest to us can wind us up the fastest.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;You&rsquo;re going to see people you love that you may not like. And that&rsquo;s always problematic,&rdquo; Dr. Nicolino said on the &ldquo;Adulting Podcast.&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;You have to ask yourself this question: &lsquo;Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?&rsquo; I know you want to be both, but on the holidays, it&rsquo;s almost impossible.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She added that those types of arguments never end with anyone&rsquo;s mind changed. She said rather than getting into an argument, it&rsquo;s a better idea to look for &ldquo;points of connection.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-self-care-tips\/\" title=\"7 Relationship Self-Care Tips: Learning to Prioritize Yourself\">7 Relationship Self-Care Tips: Learning to Prioritize Yourself<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Staying open to making positive connections<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-94549\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/592802372-2.jpg\" alt=\"Happy family on a picnic \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While she advocates for avoiding pointless arguments and searching for positive points of connection, Dr. Venus Nicolino also knows that&rsquo;s much easier said than done.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Making connections during the holidays or any time means allowing yourself to be open to them. Based on past experiences, the better move might be simply shutting down and going through the motions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She addresses this issue on her popular TikTok channel, where she has a wide range of videos offering advice on everything from romantic relationships to knowing how to heal the hurt you&rsquo;ve caused someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While it seems tempting to shut down and close people out around the holidays, things can go better if you make yourself available, which in itself has a &ldquo;unique kind of strength and confidence,&rdquo; Dr. Venus Nicolino said. She added that it offers &ldquo;a pathway to unique connections with others.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Staying emotionally unavailable might be fashionable among some people, but those who do so will end up harming themselves. While not speaking directly about the holidays, her message on staying open and available to positive experiences certainly applies.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;I&rsquo;m here to tell you that the person who cares less gets less,&rdquo; Dr. Nicolino declared in the video. &ldquo;Friendship, romance, goodness might be able to track you down in your bunker of unavailability, pretending to care less, but they will damn sure find you if you make yourself available.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this podcast where Dr. Venus Nicolino talks to Jenny McCarthy about her new book &ldquo;Bad Advice:&rdquo;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Gh2wqlDiqPU?si=FlzpzXyMVwlPYrOZ\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dr-Venus-Nicolino-It%E2%80%99s-OK-to-mix-a-little-chaos-into-your-holiday\"><\/span><b>Dr. Venus Nicolino: It&rsquo;s OK to mix a little chaos into your holiday<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Nicolino, who holds a master&rsquo;s in counseling psychology and a master&rsquo;s and Ph.D. in clinical psychology, is known for an irreverent approach and straightforward advice that cuts through the cliches others offer.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That&rsquo;s the focus of her bestselling book, Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls&ndash;t. That approach is apparent in her advice about surviving the holidays.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you practice self-care and try to find a positive connection with relatives who have opinions that are opposite your own, you still may have to embrace a little chaos.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Nicolino warned that while we may have the idyllic version of the holidays in our minds, it rarely plays out that way. But, she added, it&rsquo;s not the end of the world. She addressed it in another video on her TikiTok channel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;It&rsquo;s going to be OK if your holidays are not like a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie. You may not get snow at the exact moment your whole family comes together for a kumbaya hug,&rdquo; she said.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;You need to prepare for the possibility &mdash; just the possibility &mdash; that your entire town won&rsquo;t break out into a lovely rendition of &lsquo;Silent Night&rsquo; on Christmas Eve.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She continued, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s OK if your family gathering is more like Die Hard &mdash; you know, a shaky marriage in the middle of maniacs taking over a building. The holidays can be merry and chaotic at the same time.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The holiday season is in full swing, and that&rsquo;s typically a time for good cheer, gift-giving, and the warm embrace of a loving family. At least, that&rsquo;s what they say in all those Hallmark cards and movies.&nbsp; Your lived experience might prove otherwise. But Dr. Venus Nicolino believes you can improve the odds of surviving the holidays and having a happy one by changing how you approach family gatherings. Find out what Dr. Venus has to say about the important tips for the holiday season.&nbsp; Why it&rsquo;s important to survive and thrive through the holiday season On the list of <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1418,"featured_media":94551,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2603],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94548"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1418"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94548"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94548\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":94552,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94548\/revisions\/94552"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/94551"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}