![\"Premarital](\"http:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/131e8fe7-0493-4887-abef-882bef965a8b.jpg\" "\\"Premarital")
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Premarital counseling is recommended for any couple planning to get married to help prepare <\/span>them for the changes marriage will bring to the relationship. It can be very beneficial.<\/span><\/p>\n Despite partner’s efforts to increase the chances of successful matrimony or the solid foundation a couple may have established, the first year of marriage<\/a> is one of transition and comes with challenges. Even a couple who has cohabited prior to marriage is not immune from some struggles.<\/span><\/p>\n This is not an all inclusive list of challenges, but covers some of the most common problematic experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n Leading up to the actual wedding, there has been much excitement and anticipation for the big day. When a couple returns from a relaxing or fun honeymoon<\/a>, the reality of marriage sets in, which can be pretty dull in comparison to the glitz and glamor of the wedding and honeymoon. This can contribute to some letdown.<\/span><\/p>\n Partners may not be on the same page when it comes to fulfilling the “husband” and “wife” role. Household responsibilities will be shared; there might be some switches to more stereotypical gender roles once married and this can be a source of tension too. The frequency of sex<\/a> and how finances will be handled<\/a> (joint versus separate bank accounts) are common areas on which newly married couples disagree.<\/span><\/p>\n Another area of differences in expectations might be when it comes to time spent together. Finding that healthy balance of togetherness and separateness can be difficult to navigate. Some spouses may expect to be more of a priority and for their husband or wife to spend more time at home or with them once no longer a bachelor\/bachelorette; the other spouse may not be so willing to change their priorities and lifestyle once married.<\/span><\/p>\n While dating<\/a>, one may tend to not be fully their true selves out of concern that their partner will run for the hills if they knew their flaws. Once the ring is on the finger, one or both partners may subconsciously decide they are free to let more of their true identity be revealed. Their spouse may feel they have been deceived and the victim of a “bait and switch”. This can be a trying time when one does not feel they really know the person with whom they dedicated spending their life.<\/span><\/p>\n Self-care can also take a back seat after the wedding. Once married, perhaps one <\/span>feels little need to keep up their appearance or take care of themselves like they did before <\/span>when there was stress to look their best for the wedding or were more concerned about being <\/span>attractive to their mate out of fear they would lose interest. Certainly appearance is not <\/span>everything, but in various ways a decrease in self-care can play a role in marital issues. Hygiene, eating healthy and exercising play an important role in one’s mental health<\/a> and the <\/span>mental health of each spouse is a factor in the quality of the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n Perhaps one’s spouse does not change, but the idiosyncrasies and personality quirks of their new spouse may suddenly irk them, where before they were more tolerant. These things might become more bothersome when put in the perspective of dealing with them for the long-term.<\/span><\/p>\n Both spouses have gained a new (in-law) family. How to best handle one’s new in-laws<\/a> can be stressful as they may feel more entitled to meddle in the relationship or pre-existing conflict may only escalate after the wedding. One may feel torn to pick sides when there is a disagreement among their new spouse and their family; as a result, loyalty will be tested.<\/span><\/p>\n Below are some general guidelines to help survive the first year of marriage when dealing with the above or additional challenges.<\/b><\/p>\n Don’t make the mistake of wishful thinking that things will blow over or work themselves out. No one likes to have conflict but it will resolve more easily if addressed when<\/span><\/p>\n it is small rather than after it has snowballed into a bigger deal. Resolution may include negotiation and choosing to be happy rather than right.<\/span><\/p>\n Assertively and respectfully let one’s thoughts, feelings, expectations, and requests be known. No spouse is a mind reader. Listening is just as an<\/span><\/p>\n important part of communication as sharing; be a good listener.<\/span><\/p>\n This includes each other and the marriage. It can be so easy to <\/span>become complacent and unappreciative. Figure out how to best show love, affection and appreciation to one’s spouse<\/a> and do it frequently.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>When the honeymoon is over<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Different expectations<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>True selves are revealed<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>The rose-colored glasses come off<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>In-laws<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Seek resolution<\/b><\/h3>\n
Learn how to communicate<\/b><\/h3>\n
Don’t take things for granted<\/b> <\/span><\/h3>\n
Set healthy boundaries<\/b><\/h3>\n