

{"id":91589,"date":"2023-11-23T07:14:08","date_gmt":"2023-11-23T07:14:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=91589"},"modified":"2026-01-06T11:11:43","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T11:11:43","slug":"funny-quotes-about-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/funny-quotes-about-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"115 Amusing and Funny Marriage Quotes to Brighten Your Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116200\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/Kitchen-Early-Morning.jpg\" alt=\"Kitchen, Early Morning\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage has a way of being beautifully serious&hellip; and wonderfully ridiculous, sometimes all in the same hour. One moment, it&rsquo;s shared dreams and quiet understanding; the next, it&rsquo;s debating whose turn it is to do the dishes, again!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&rsquo;s comfort in knowing you&rsquo;re not alone in those little moments of chaos, eye rolls, laughter, and unexpected tenderness. Humor softens the sharp edges, helps love breathe, and reminds us that perfection was never the goal anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A well-timed laugh can say, &ldquo;We&rsquo;re okay,&rdquo; even when words fall short. That&rsquo;s why funny marriage quotes feel so familiar, like inside jokes you didn&rsquo;t know you shared. They capture the quirks, the warmth, the patience&hellip; and the joy hidden in everyday married life.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-funny-marriage-quotes-never-get-old\"><\/span><b>Why funny marriage quotes never get old?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>Funny marriage quotes never get old because married life itself keeps repeating in the most relatable ways.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The same habits, the same playful arguments, the same &ldquo;did we really just do that?&rdquo; moments&hellip; they just show up in new outfits. Humor makes those patterns feel lighter, not heavier.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"research_highlight\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/274303347_Humor_style_and_relationship_satisfaction_in_dating_couples_Perceived_versus_self-reported_humor_styles_as_predictors_of_satisfaction\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on 82 couples found that partners often differ in their humor styles, yet relationship satisfaction depends more on how individuals perceive the humor of their partner. Other-directed, considerate humor predicts greater satisfaction, highlighting humor as a multidimensional factor shaping romantic connection across different situations.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It reminds couples that laughter is often the fastest way back to connection, especially after a long day. Funny quotes in marriage feel timeless because they speak truth without judgment; they say, &ldquo;Yes, this is messy&hellip; and yes, it&rsquo;s still worth smiling about!&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"115-amusing-and-funny-marriage-quotes-to-brighten-your-day\"><\/span><b>115 amusing and funny marriage quotes to brighten your day<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage is full of moments that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC4779443\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make you laugh<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, sigh, and shake your head&hellip; sometimes all at once. From everyday quirks to shared routines that feel oddly comforting, humor keeps things light when life feels heavy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These funny quotes about marriage capture those small, honest moments that couples everywhere recognize and quietly smile about.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Funny quotes about love and marriage<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love and marriage come with warmth, patience, and plenty of laughable moments. These quotes gently highlight how affection and humor often walk hand in hand, even when things feel imperfect.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years, you need a club and a spade.&rdquo; &mdash; Carrie<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you&rsquo;ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you&rsquo;ll become a philosopher.&rdquo; &ndash; Socrates<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a blast. Like a bomb.&rdquo; &ndash; Julieanne O&rsquo;Connor<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;There are a hundred paths through the world that are easier than loving. But who wants it easier?&rdquo; &ndash; Mary Oliver<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is nature&rsquo;s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.&rdquo; &ndash; Alan King<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;When you&rsquo;re in love, it&rsquo;s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.&rdquo; &ndash; Richard Lewis<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.&rdquo; &ndash; Rory Elder<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.&rdquo; &ndash; St. Jerome<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage should be a duet &ndash; when one sings, the other claps.&rdquo; &ndash; Joe Murray<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn&rsquo;t even have when you were on your own.&rdquo; &ndash; Eddie Cantor<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.&rdquo; &ndash; Michel de Montaigne<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.&rdquo; &ndash; Ogden Nash<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The two most important words in marriage for me are &lsquo;yes, dear.'&rdquo; &ndash; Eric Close<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other&rsquo;s minimum daily requirements.&rdquo; &ndash; Kathy Mohnke<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.&rdquo; &ndash; Lily Tomlin<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.&rdquo; &ndash; Henry Youngman<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a jigsaw puzzle &ndash; all the pieces fit, but it takes a little time to figure out how to make them work together.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn&rsquo;t show up on X-rays, but you know it&rsquo;s there.&rdquo; &ndash; George Burns<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is all about fun, love, and agreeing on whose turn it is to do the dishes.&rdquo; &ndash; Melanie White<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My wife is a psychologist&hellip; Not only does she know when I&rsquo;m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I&rsquo;m being.&rdquo; &ndash; Lee Judge<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/funny-relationship-advice\/\" title=\"11 Funny Relationship Advice Every Couple Will Relate To\">11 Funny Relationship Advice Every Couple Will Relate To<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Funny marriage quotes about husbands<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116199\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/Living-Room-Assembling-Furniture.jpg\" alt=\"Living Room, Assembling Furniture\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Husbands have a special way of being lovable and unintentionally funny. These funny marriage quotes celebrate their quirks, habits, and everyday antics that make married life both amusing and familiar.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"21\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> My prince is not coming on a white horse &hellip; He&rsquo;s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.&rdquo; &ndash; Jerry Seinfeld<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Michelle&rsquo;s like Beyonc&eacute; in that song, &lsquo;Let me upgrade ya!&rsquo; She upgraded me.&rdquo; &ndash; Barack Obama<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;We got married: society&rsquo;s solution to loneliness, lust and laundry.&rdquo; &ndash; George Cockcroft<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I&rsquo;m married to a very unusual person, but maybe it took a very unusual person to be willing to marry me.&rdquo; &ndash; Fiona Shaw<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The man who says his wife can&rsquo;t take a joke, forgets that she took him.&rdquo; &ndash; Oscar Wilde<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.&rdquo; &ndash; Groucho Marx<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.&rdquo; &ndash; Chris Rock<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.&rdquo; &ndash; Samuel Johnson<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;We both said, &lsquo;I do!&rsquo; and we haven&rsquo;t agreed on a single thing since.&rdquo; &ndash; So I Married an Axe Murderer<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.&rdquo; &ndash; Winston Churchill<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not a smart man, but I know what love is.&rdquo; &ndash; Forrest Gump<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is when a man and woman promise to love, honor, and annoy each other for the rest of their lives.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.&rdquo; &ndash; Megan Mullally<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.&rdquo; &ndash; Zsa Zsa Gabor<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Husband secretly lowers the thermostat, and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun.&rdquo;- Stephanie Ortiz<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They&rsquo;ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.&rdquo; &ndash; Rita Rudner<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.&rdquo; &ndash; Red Skelton<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.&rdquo; &ndash; Albert Einstein<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Who won in life? Me. Because I got to marry you.&rdquo; &ndash; Chip Gaines<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationship-jokes\/\" title=\"81+ Funny Relationship Jokes to Enjoy With Your Partner\">81+ Funny Relationship Jokes to Enjoy With Your Partner<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Best funny quotes about marriage<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some lines never fail to spark a smile. These quotes capture the most relatable truths about marriage,<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/10.1177\/19485506241312876\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">blending honesty<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and humor into moments couples recognize instantly.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"41\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.&rdquo; &ndash; Joseph Barth<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.&rdquo; &ndash; Booth Tarkington<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.&rdquo; &ndash; Joyce Brothers<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.&rdquo; &ndash; John Wilmott<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage has no guarantees. If that&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;re looking for, go and live with a car battery.&rdquo; &ndash; Emma Bombeck<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The most important four words for a successful marriage: I&rsquo;ll do the dishes.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.&rdquo; &ndash; Phyllis Schlafly<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.&rdquo; &ndash; Natasha Leggero<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is grand. Divorce, 200 grand.&rdquo; &ndash; Anonymous<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A successful marriage requires falling in love many times &ndash; always with the same person.&rdquo; &ndash; Mignon McLaughlin<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Life after marriage is like a walk in a park. The only problem is that the park is on fire.&rdquo;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to get married again because I&rsquo;m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.&rdquo; &ndash; Wendy Liebman<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;If I had a flower for every time I thought of you&hellip; I could walk through my garden forever.&rdquo; &ndash; Alfred Tennyson<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a fine wine; if tended to properly, it only gets better with age, even if it makes you talk nonsense from time to time.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;In my house, I&rsquo;m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.&rdquo; &ndash; Woody Allen<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.&rdquo; &ndash; Rita Rudner<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.&rdquo; &ndash; Ruth Bell Graham<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.&rdquo; &ndash; Henny Youngman<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have their own bathroom. The end.&rdquo; &ndash; Catherine Zeta-Jones<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.&rdquo; &ndash; Gilbert K. Chesterton<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/funny-marriage-advice\/\" title=\"80+ Funny Marriage Tips to Make Couples Laugh Out Loud\">80+ Funny Marriage Tips to Make Couples Laugh Out Loud<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Funny quotes about marriage and life<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-116201\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/Bedroom-Lights-Off.jpg\" alt=\"Bedroom, Lights Off\" width=\"804\" height=\"536\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage doesn&rsquo;t exist in a bubble; it blends into daily life. These quotes reflect how love, stress, routines, and laughter all collide in wonderfully imperfect ways.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"61\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?&rdquo; &ndash; Jean Illsely Clarke<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.&rdquo; &ndash; Mae West<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/15-key-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">successful marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.&rdquo; &ndash; Mignon McLaughlin<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It&rsquo;s not an adventure. You do more before five than most folks do all day.&rdquo; &ndash; Sinbad<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.&rdquo; &ndash; Helen Rowland<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.&rdquo; &ndash; Rodney Dangerfield<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;All my friends are getting married. I guess I&rsquo;m just at that age where people give up.&rdquo; &ndash; Amy Schumer<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.&rdquo; &ndash; Jerry Seinfeld<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.&rdquo; &ndash; Phyllis Diller<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The secret to a<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/lessons-for-a-happy-marriage\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">happy marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> remains a secret.&rdquo; &ndash; Henny Youngman<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A good marriage is like a casserole &ndash; only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.&rdquo; &ndash; Jim Carrey<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;The most important four words for a successful marriage: &lsquo;I&rsquo;ll do the dishes.'&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, and eat good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.&rdquo; &ndash; Henny Youngman<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And then it was too late.&rdquo; &ndash; Max Kauffmann<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?&rdquo; &ndash; Groucho Marx<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a fine institution, but I&rsquo;m not ready for an institution.&rdquo; &ndash; Mae West<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it&rsquo;s not so hot.&rdquo; &ndash; Minnie Pearl<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.&rdquo; &ndash; Richard Pryor<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;You know you&rsquo;re in love when you can&rsquo;t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.&rdquo; &ndash; Dr. Seuss&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/funny-marriage-advice-finding-humor-in-commitment\/\" title=\"55+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment\">55+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Funny quotes about marriage and money<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Money talks&hellip; and sometimes argues. These quotes humorously reflect how finances can test patience, teamwork, and communication, while still offering plenty of reasons to laugh together.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"81\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.&rdquo; &ndash; Groucho Marx<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.&rdquo; &ndash; Irwin Corey<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;My wife had us register for fine china, because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate.&rdquo; &ndash; Jim Gaffigan<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Keep your eyes wide<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/when-your-spouse-asks-for-an-open-marriage\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">open before marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and half shut afterward.&rdquo; &ndash; Benjamin Franklin<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a walk in the park&hellip; Jurassic Park.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.&rdquo; &ndash; Evelyn Hendrickson<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a fine wine; if tended to properly, it only gets better with age. However, if neglected, it turns to vinegar.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.&rdquo; &ndash; Billy Connolly<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A successful marriage involves falling in love many times, but always with the same person, hiding your car keys.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage: A word which should be pronounced &lsquo;mirage&rsquo;.&rdquo; &ndash; Herbert Spencer<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a roller coaster. You can either scream every time there&rsquo;s a bump or throw your hands up and enjoy the ride.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a fine wine &ndash; it&rsquo;s better when you let it breathe for a while.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;If you can stay in love for more than two years, you&rsquo;re on to something.&rdquo; &ndash; Fran Lebowitz<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is grand &ndash; and divorce? Well, it&rsquo;s around twenty grand.&rdquo; &ndash; Jay Leno<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is the art of replacing &lsquo;you&rsquo; and &lsquo;I&rsquo; with &lsquo;we&rsquo; and &lsquo;us&rsquo; without making it sound like a crime scene.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to buy the butter.&rdquo; &ndash; Sam Kinison<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is like a cup of tea. It&rsquo;s all in how you make it.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/love-jokes\/\" title=\"51 Love Jokes That Will Make You and Your Partner Laugh\">51 Love Jokes That Will Make You and Your Partner Laugh<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Funny quotes about marriage and responsibilities<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Responsibilities pile up quickly in marriage. From chores to commitments, these quotes bring humor to shared duties, reminding couples that laughter makes carrying the load feel lighter.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"102\"><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor&rsquo;s degree, and a woman gets her master&rsquo;s degree.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a workshop&hellip; where the husband works and the wife shops.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage: because your relationship wasn&rsquo;t complicated enough already.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;In marriage, if you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every night of the week.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A marriage is where each partner secretly suspects the other one got the better deal.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is when your spouse&rsquo;s snoring becomes your new bedtime lullaby.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage means<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> commitment. Of course, so does insanity.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage: the only war where you sleep with the enemy.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Marriage is when a husband and wife agree to live together for the rest of their lives, and then they start to argue about who left the toilet seat up.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &ldquo;Being in a marriage means having short conversations which always seem too long.&rdquo; &ndash; Unknown<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/funny-marriage-memes\/\" title=\"28 Funny Marriage Memes to Make Your Day\">28 Funny Marriage Memes to Make Your Day<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Let-it-be-fun\"><\/span><b>Let it be fun!<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage isn&rsquo;t meant to be taken seriously every single moment&hellip; and honestly, that&rsquo;s part of its charm. Laughter has a quiet way of easing tension, softening misunderstandings, and turning ordinary days into shared memories.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some jokes feel familiar, some hit a little too close to home, and others simply make you smile without knowing why. Funny marriage quotes remind us that love grows best when it&rsquo;s allowed to be playful, imperfect, and human.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After all, what&rsquo;s a lasting partnership without inside jokes, gentle teasing, and a few laughs along the way?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, that shared smile says everything.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage has a way of being beautifully serious&hellip; and wonderfully ridiculous, sometimes all in the same hour. One moment, it&rsquo;s shared dreams and quiet understanding; the next, it&rsquo;s debating whose turn it is to do the dishes, again! There&rsquo;s comfort in knowing you&rsquo;re not alone in those little moments of chaos, eye rolls, laughter, and unexpected tenderness. Humor softens the sharp edges, helps love breathe, and reminds us that perfection was never the goal anyway. A well-timed laugh can say, &ldquo;We&rsquo;re okay,&rdquo; even when words fall short. That&rsquo;s why funny marriage quotes feel so familiar, like inside jokes you didn&rsquo;t <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":116200,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2609],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91589"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91589"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91589\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116202,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91589\/revisions\/116202"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/116200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}