

{"id":89228,"date":"2023-09-18T08:17:09","date_gmt":"2023-09-18T08:17:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=89228"},"modified":"2023-09-18T08:18:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-18T08:18:00","slug":"reactive-emotions-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/reactive-emotions-in-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Handle Reactive Emotions in Marriage: 9 Strategies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-89233\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/377374993.jpg\" alt=\"Woman shouting on man \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keeping relationships is vital for humans because it provides several benefits that make life bearable and worthwhile. When you discover that your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/interpersonal-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">interpersonal relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are becoming challenging to maintain, it might be due to factors like emotional reactivity.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this article, you will learn what it means to have reactive emotions and how they can be handled to preserve your relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-does-emotional-reactivity-mean\"><\/span><b>What does emotional reactivity mean?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional reactivity is the intensity and speed at which a person emotionally responds to various situations.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If someone has high emotional reactivity, they quickly react to emotional triggers. In comparison, someone with low emotional reactivity will likely remain calm and collected when faced with similar situations.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional reactivity differs from individual to individual and is influenced by factors like society, genetics, stress, and temperament.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"research_highlight\"><p>To learn more about Emotional Reactivity, read this study by Carla B. Kalvin and other authors. This <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5011018\/#:~:text=Prior%20research%20suggests%20that%20physiological,to%20impairments%20in%20social%20functioning.\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> explores emotional reactivity, focusing on behavioral problems that may contribute to impaired social functioning.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-is-it-vital-to-handle-emotional-reactivity-in-a-marriage\"><\/span><b>Why is it vital to handle emotional reactivity in a marriage?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One key to a sustainable and healthy marriage is properly managing emotional reactivity. When couples are oblivious to how they respond to each other, it can affect the relationship dynamics.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If emotional reactivity is handled well, it can reduce the intensity and rate at which couples have conflicts. They will find it easier to resolve their misunderstandings because they can communicate their feelings and emotions irrespective of how delicate the situation is.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Couples will also find each other tolerable because they know how to respond to situations while keeping their emotions in check.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><div class=\"research_highlight\"><p>In this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC8806163\/#:~:text=Individuals%20with%20high%20emotional%20reactivity%20often%20make%20negative%20avoidance%20response,degree%20of%20perceived%20partner%20responsiveness.\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by Qunming Yuan and other authors, you will learn how emotional reactivity affects marriage. The study is titled The Effect of Emotional Reactivity on Marital Quality in Chinese Couples.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9-ways-to-reduce-emotional-reactivity\"><\/span><b>9 ways to reduce emotional reactivity<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional reactivity occurs when an event triggers intense emotions. You might behave in a way that you won&rsquo;t be proud of. Here are some ways to reduce or manage reactive emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Respond instead of reacting<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People often show reactive emotions without being patient to determine what is happening to ensure they respond correctly. It is important to remember that even though circumstances can affect your peace, you are solely responsible for how you respond when things don&rsquo;t go your way.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Do your research<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowing how not to show reactive emotions comes with researching extensively about it. You can learn answers to questions like, &ldquo;What is emotional reactivity,&rdquo; &ldquo;How to be less reactive emotionally,&rdquo; etc.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do good research on the best way to behave when facing stressful situations that can make you act unpredictably.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Identify your triggers<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to how to not react emotionally, it involves knowing your triggers. You need to know what allows you to react when a situation doesn&rsquo;t go your way. The next time you feel reactive emotions, you will be able to tell that it was a trigger.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br><\/span><div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/creating-a-culture-of-candor-through-conflict\/\" title=\"11 Ways to Successfully Navigate Triggers in Your Relationship\">11 Ways to Successfully Navigate Triggers in Your Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Avoid assuming and seek clarity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the reasons why people show reactive emotions is because they make assumptions. When you hear something, ensure you do your research instead of making decisions with the present information. Getting clarity is important to preventing emotional reactivity.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-89237\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/111963170-1-1.jpg\" alt=\"Young happy couple talking \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Don&rsquo;t let bad experiences be your yardstick<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way to prevent reactive emotions is to stop having bad experiences, as in your case study. It is vital to note that negative or bad experiences can form prejudice in your mind that you may be unaware of.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are emotionally reactive to a present event, remember that your reaction might be due to a past negative event.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Engage in self-care<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the ways to learn how to be less emotionally reactive is to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/the-pillars-of-self-care\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">practice self-care<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If you notice that you have been experiencing reactive emotions, you can combat it by intentionally caring for yourself.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can go on a vacation, hit the gym, go for a massage, spend time with your loved ones, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Surround yourself with positive people<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your association greatly determines how you act, think, and feel. If you want to learn how to stop reacting emotionally, surround yourself with individuals with a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-build-positive-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">positive mindset<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This means that when a problem arises, you will tackle it constructively without reacting emotionally.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Make yourself happy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can learn how to stop being emotionally reactive by making yourself happy. Look for every opportunity to be happy and joyous, and refrain from being sad. Endeavor to find joy in every situation and learn to laugh regularly.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. See a professional therapist<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you discover that your reactive emotions are getting out of control, you need to seek professional help. Seeing a therapist comes with learning effective strategies that will help you make the right decisions when you notice signs of emotional reactivity.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/reactive-abuse\/\" title=\"What Is Reactive Abuse and How to Deal With It\">What Is Reactive Abuse and How to Deal With It<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-benefits-of-managing-emotional-reactivity-between-couples\"><\/span><b>5 benefits of managing emotional reactivity between couples<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love is not enough to build a healthy and successful marriage. Couples need to learn how to manage reactive emotions so that it doesn&rsquo;t tear the union apart. Here are some benefits of managing emotional reactivity between married couples.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Better communication skills<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you notice the signs of emotional reactivity, and you&rsquo;re intentional about managing it, you and your partner will get better at communicating your emotions effectively.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By recognizing the signs of emotional reactivity and actively addressing them, both partners can become more adept at articulating their emotions in a clear and constructive manner. This improved communication fosters a deeper understanding of each other&rsquo;s feelings and concerns, ultimately strengthening the marital bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Reduced conflict<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conflicts with increased frequency and intensity will occur regularly in a reactive relationship where emotions are not managed. However, if couples learn to manage reactivity, it can reduce the intensity and frequency of conflicts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A reduction in conflict not only creates a more peaceful atmosphere within the marriage but also allows both partners to allocate their energy and attention to more positive aspects of their relationship.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br><\/span><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/conflict-resolution-skills\/\" title=\"7 Reasons Conflict Resolution Skills Are Vital in a Relationship\">7 Reasons Conflict Resolution Skills Are Vital in a Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>3. Strengthens emotional bond<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reactive emotions cause emotional outbursts, which deplete emotional bonds. When these negative emotions are avoided, married partners can build a stronger emotional connection, ensuring they are more understanding and empathetic.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By proactively addressing these negative emotional reactions, married couples can work towards building a more robust and enduring emotional bond.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Improved intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When couples learn to regulate their emotions, it improves their intimacy level. They will find it easier to connect emotionally and physically.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When partners can effectively manage their emotional responses, they create a safe and nurturing space for vulnerability and emotional sharing. This, in turn, facilitates a deeper emotional connection and makes it easier for couples to engage in intimate physical closeness.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As emotional barriers diminish, physical intimacy can become more fulfilling and satisfying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video to learn tips from a marriage therapist on how to improve emotional intimacy in a relationship:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/IYgqDEmEJ10?si=HpdmJ4NXNVkwGQEU\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Long-term satisfaction<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the ways that couples can achieve <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/keys-to-long-lasting-relationship-success\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">long-term relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> satisfaction is when they learn how to manage their emotions. They will be happier and more satisfied with each other because of fewer emotional outbursts.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By reducing the frequency of emotional outbursts, they create a more harmonious and stable relationship environment. This, in turn, promotes enduring satisfaction and reinforces the belief that their marriage is built on a strong foundation of emotional intelligence and mutual respect.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Commonly-asked-questions\"><\/span><b>Commonly asked questions<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are the answers to some pressing questions that can give you more clarity about emotional reactivity and how to handle it if it is present in your relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>What differentiates emotional reactivity from emotional regulation?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The common emotionally reactive definition is immediate emotional responses to situations or stimuli. The individual reacts emotionally without control or prior thought. At the same time, emotional regulation is the intentional control of your emotional responses and the ability to manage your feelings when responding to different situations.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/being-emotionally-unstable\/\" title=\"How Being Emotionally Unstable Is Damaging Your Relationship\">How Being Emotionally Unstable Is Damaging Your Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>In what way does emotional reactivity affect communication and conflict resolution in a marriage?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The absence of control regarding emotional reactivity can increase conflicts and dampen communication between married couples. When partners learn to manage their emotions, there will be fewer conflicts, and communication will improve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-89236\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/1824241169-1.jpg\" alt=\"Married couple having fight \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Can emotional reactivity be regarded as a mental illness?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional reactivity is not a mental illness; however, it is a trait that shows how people respond to situations. However, extreme cases of emotional reactivity can affect the daily functioning of an individual&rsquo;s life, which can be associated with some mental health disorders.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Can emotional reactivity be cured permanently?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional reactivity is a natural aspect of human emotions, and individuals can learn to manage it by applying some techniques. Some of these self-help strategies include emotional regulation skills, lifestyle changes, medication, therapy, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>How can I know I have emotional reactivity?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowing if you have emotional reactivity is pivotal in understanding how to respond irrespective of the situation. Some signs that you may have emotional reactivity include impulsivity, intense and quick emotional responses, overreactions, difficulty in solving problems, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final-thoughts\"><\/span><b>Final thoughts<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that reactive emotions are natural, and everyone will likely experience them. However, when it negatively affects your physical and mental health and relationships, you need to seek help. You can see a relationship counselor or therapist on how to help you manage your emotions to avoid ruining your relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com.ng\/books\/about\/How_To_Control_Emotions_In_A_Relationshi.html?id=r6xazgEACAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">book <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">by Lola Olsten, you will learn how to control your emotions effectively. This book titled How to Control Emotions in A Relationship, teaches you how to master your emotions with peace.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Keeping relationships is vital for humans because it provides several benefits that make life bearable and worthwhile. When you discover that your interpersonal relationships are becoming challenging to maintain, it might be due to factors like emotional reactivity.&nbsp; In this article, you will learn what it means to have reactive emotions and how they can be handled to preserve your relationships. What does emotional reactivity mean? Emotional reactivity is the intensity and speed at which a person emotionally responds to various situations.&nbsp; If someone has high emotional reactivity, they quickly react to emotional triggers. In comparison, someone with low emotional <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1390,"featured_media":89233,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2604],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89228"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1390"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=89228"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89242,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89228\/revisions\/89242"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/89233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=89228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=89228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=89228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}