

{"id":86531,"date":"2023-05-31T17:34:17","date_gmt":"2023-05-31T17:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=86531"},"modified":"2026-03-20T07:04:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T07:04:59","slug":"emotional-invalidation-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-invalidation-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Effects of Emotional Invalidation in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-86535\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shutterstock_2248870923.jpg\" alt=\"Woman crying alone siting on the bed \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have been in a situation where you don&rsquo;t feel good about yourself because of what someone said or how someone reacted to you, it might be one of the emotional invalidation examples.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional invalidation, the act of dismissing or rejecting someone&rsquo;s feelings, is, unfortunately, a common occurrence in many relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether intentional or not, invalidating someone&rsquo;s emotions can cause deep emotional pain and damage the relationship. When someone faces invalidation in a relationship, it can negatively impact their mental health and affect the relationship in the long run.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding and addressing emotional invalidation is crucial for maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. In this article, you will learn the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships and how to deal with it.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotional-neglect-in-marriage\/\" title=\"25 Signs of Emotional Neglect in Marriage &amp; How to Deal With It\">25 Signs of Emotional Neglect in Marriage &amp; How to Deal With It<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-emotional-invalidation\"><\/span><b>What is emotional invalidation?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional invalidation is a type of emotional abuse in which a person is made to believe their feelings are untrue or unworthy and that is why, invalid. This can make the person feel lonely, worthless, underconfident, and helpless, and they might develop mental health problems.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the common examples of emotional invalidation is when the perpetrator says things to the victim that robs them of their self-confidence and independence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To understand a broader view on emotional validation, check out <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/scholarworks.waldenu.edu\/dissertations\/3646\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by Gregory Witkowski titled &lsquo;&rsquo;The Effect of Emotionally Validating and Invalidating Responses on Emotional Self-Efficacy.&rsquo;&rsquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-emotional-validation-is-so-important-in-relationships\/\" title=\"What is Emotional Validation and Why Is so Important for Couples in a Relationship\">What is Emotional Validation and Why Is so Important for Couples in a Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-common-reasons-for-emotional-invalidation\"><\/span><b>5 common reasons for emotional invalidation<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When emotional invalidation happens continuously in a relationship, it is a clear sign that it is unhealthy. Here are some common reasons why emotional invalidation in relationships may be present.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Desire to exert control<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When your partner ignores your feelings, it might be one of the signs of emotional invalidation. They might do this because they want to manipulate or control you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In most cases, they expect you to inform them of your activities so they can approve or reject them as they deem fit. People who <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/controlling-relationship-signs-you-must-know\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">control their partners<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in a relationship often feel better when someone answers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez, LCSW<\/a>, highlights,<\/p>\n<div class=\"docos-collapsible-replyview\">\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-static\">\n<blockquote>\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-body docos-anchoredreplyview-body docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable-background\" dir=\"ltr\">If you are feeling controlled in your relationship, this is not something to ignore. Consider this a red flag.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Insecurity<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are feeling invalidated by your partner, it&rsquo;s possible that they are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">feeling insecure<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When someone is insecure, they do things that make them feel better or more important. Therefore, they may project their opinions, fears, or thoughts on their partner to create invalidated feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Lack of empathy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone lacks empathy, they may find it hard to put themselves in the position of other people. Sometimes, the inability to empathize can lead to invalidating feelings. For instance, someone <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/lacking-empathy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lacking empathy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> may look down on their partner who is feeling bad about something.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Jealousy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-being-jealous-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partners are jealous of each other<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it can breed hatred, which is one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships. Jealousy can make partners look for fault in everything they do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video to know why a little bit of Jealousy can be healthy for relationships:&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zGexFeTqneo\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Self-inflated sense of importance<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anyone with a large ego or a self-inflated sense of importance will find it hard to believe they are wrong.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hence, when someone is feeling invalidated, they depend on their partner as the standard when it comes to being right or wrong, which is one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To understand how emotional invalidation affects the mind, try reading this book by Joseph Miller titled <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com.ng\/books\/about\/Mind_Control.html?id=kopXzwEACAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mind Control<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-86534\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shutterstock_1043490175.jpg\" alt=\"Sad woman siting alone \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-emotional-invalidation-affects-your-relationship-5-ways\"><\/span><b>How emotional invalidation affects your relationship: 5 ways<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When left unchecked, the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships can be devastating. Here are some of the negative effects of emotional invalidation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Inability to manage their emotions<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are feeling invalidated by your partner, it might be hard for you to manage your emotions. You will doubt how you feel and may begin to believe what your partner says about you. When you have a personal experience, you might not trust the validity of what you witnessed.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Low self-esteem<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the common effects of emotional invalidation in relationships is when the individual develops a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/low-self-esteem-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">low self-esteem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The person might feel it would be hard to amount to anything good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/maggie-martinez\">Maggie Martinez<\/a> advises,<\/p>\n<div class=\"docos-collapsible-replyview\">\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-static\">\n<blockquote>\n<div class=\"docos-replyview-body docos-anchoredreplyview-body docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable docos-replyview-body-emoji-reactable-background\" dir=\"ltr\">Please pay attention to how you feel about yourself when you are around your partner. If you find yourself feeling badly about yourself, this is a sign.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h3><b>Lack of intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When there is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no intimacy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in the picture, it might be one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships. Victim of emotional invalidation may not be free to be intimate with their partner because they feel unloved and uncared for.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Increased conflicts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If partners find it hard to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/resolve-conflict-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">resolve their conflicts<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it can be one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships. They may be unable to solve their relationship problems, leading to resentment.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>The feeling of lack of support<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships, the lack of support is one of them. Victim who feels invalidated will find it hard to believe their partner supports them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therefore, it might be hard for them to take the initiative and do things because they don&rsquo;t have the needed support.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/steps-to-becoming-a-supportive-partner\/\" title=\"20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner\">20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-86533\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shutterstock_603284075-3.jpg\" alt=\"Single sad man checking his phone \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-deal-with-emotional-invalidation-from-your-partner\"><\/span><b>How to deal with emotional invalidation from your partner?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone disregards your feelings, you may feel worthless. It might be hard for you to think you can amount to anything, which is one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To know how to stop seeking external validation, understand that you are not the problem. It would also be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/the-importance-of-communication-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">helpful to communicate<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with the person about how they make you feel and if they can make changes.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/emotional-intimacy-in-marriage\/\" title=\"Why Is Emotional Intimacy Important in a Marriage?\">Why Is Emotional Intimacy Important in a Marriage?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Emotions-matter-no-matter-whose\"><\/span><b>Emotions matter no matter whose<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are well aware of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships, it is important to take a bold step and confront the underlying issue. You and your partner can consider going for <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to solve the problem of emotional invalidation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can try reading Joyce Meyer&rsquo;s book titled <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com.ng\/books\/about\/Living_Beyond_Your_Feelings.html?id=AQ82AQAAQBAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Living Beyond Your Feelings<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> which helps you learn how to control emotions so they don&rsquo;t control you. Remember, everybody&rsquo;s emotions are equally important.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you have been in a situation where you don&rsquo;t feel good about yourself because of what someone said or how someone reacted to you, it might be one of the emotional invalidation examples.&nbsp; Emotional invalidation, the act of dismissing or rejecting someone&rsquo;s feelings, is, unfortunately, a common occurrence in many relationships.&nbsp; Whether intentional or not, invalidating someone&rsquo;s emotions can cause deep emotional pain and damage the relationship. When someone faces invalidation in a relationship, it can negatively impact their mental health and affect the relationship in the long run.&nbsp; Understanding and addressing emotional invalidation is crucial for maintaining healthy <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1390,"featured_media":86535,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24],"tags":[2532],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86531"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1390"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86531"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118616,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86531\/revisions\/118616"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/86535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}