{"id":85210,"date":"2023-04-07T15:38:07","date_gmt":"2023-04-07T15:38:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=85210"},"modified":"2025-08-21T06:35:33","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T06:35:33","slug":"when-the-narcissist-sees-you-with-someone-else","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/when-the-narcissist-sees-you-with-someone-else\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Things Happens When a Narcissist Sees You With Someone Else"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-85214\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/New-Project-2023-04-07T180543.318.jpg\" alt=\"Upset women looking at her boyfriend talking to another female \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve just ended a relationship with a narcissist, you may ask yourself, &ldquo;What happens when a narcissist sees you with someone else? Read this article to the end to learn the answers.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/stages-of-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship with a narcissist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Your self-worth and self-esteem would be questioned and tarnished many times.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dating a narcissist causes you to question yourself and think low of yourself; therefore, if you have successfully moved out of a relationship with a narcissist, good riddance!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, this decision leaves many questions on the table. Do narcissists get jealous when you move on? When a narcissist sees you have moved on, what do they do? Generally, how do narcissists feel when you move on?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4fQH2sNoVL0?si=6NiuWN2DCRAvY2VL\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Naturally, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com\/lists\/five-signs-narcissism\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">narcissism<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is characterized by envy. Besides having an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and requiring constant, narcissists tend to envy others. So, when the narcissist sees you with someone else, it may not go well with them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Although they may appear unaffected or mask their hurt with arrogance, believing they are superior to your new partner and can only spend time with special people, deep down, they won&rsquo;t like it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what does a narcissist do when they see that you have moved on? Let&rsquo;s find out in the subsequent paragraphs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video to learn the signs that someone is jealous of you:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BcE2XFeGI48\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-things-that-can-happen-when-a-narcissist-sees-you-with-someone-else\"><\/span><b>10 things that can happen when a narcissist sees you with someone else<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do narcissists feel when you move on? Do narcissists get mad when you move on? If you ask these questions after <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/breaking-up-with-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">breaking up with a narcissist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you are not overthinking. Narcissists are notorious for their need for control, inability to handle rejection or the perception of losing control.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the narcissist sees you with someone else, it can trigger a range of emotions and behaviors that can be both unpredictable and destructive. Knowing these things helps you get ahead of them before they react.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Rage<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do narcissists get mad when you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-move-on-without-closure\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">move on<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? When the narcissist sees you with someone else, the first emotion they feel is rage. Although they will try to mask it as much as possible, a narcissist will get angry, seeing that you have moved on already.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Deep down the show of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC7427600\/#:~:text=A%20substantial%20body%20of%20research,hostility%20and%20aggression%20when%20challenged.\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">grandiosity<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, narcissists have a fragile sense of self-esteem, which is easily threatened when they see their ex with someone else.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can lead to intense rage and anger, manifesting in aggressive or violent behavior. The narcissist may lash out at their ex, new partner, or even bystanders who happen to be nearby.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/postpartum-rage\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Postpartum Rage Coping, Symptoms, Treatment and Causes<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. They try to get you back<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another thing that happens when a narcissist sees you with someone else is they start plotting how to regain you. Individuals with narcissistic traits utilize their abilities to lure you back into their grasp.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t be deceived; their attempt is not due to their undying affection for you but because they feel defeated.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the main tools of narcissists is power. Since you are out of their reach, they feel useless and worthless. Seeing you with someone else now motivates them to exert control over you. So, they pretend to have changed and use all tactics to date you again.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. They feel cheated<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Strange right? Yes! When the narcissist sees you with another person, he feels cheated. Not because you did something bad but because it looks like he lost you and the opportunity to dominate your life.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is in a narcissist nature to control and influence every aspect of their partners&rsquo; lives.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that they see you happy with another person, it hurts them deeply. To a narcissist, everything is a game, and losing means another person is with you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once they realize they are no longer important, they deploy all tactics in their hands to get you back or make themself feel good.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/woman-feels-after-being-cheated\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How a Woman Feels After Being Cheated On<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. They play the victim<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another effective tool in the hands of narcissists is playing the victim. When the narcissist sees you with someone else, they act like you cheated them or you are at fault. For example, they may tell you the breakup was your fault, and they didn&rsquo;t want it.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to&nbsp;<\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, a certified relationship coach:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be frustrating. When you break up with them, they make sure they guilt-trip you into blaming yourself for all the things that led to the breakup.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also, they will cite several examples when they were well-behaved and that your actions only triggered their behavior.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All these explanations are ways to make you question your role in the breakup and give them a chance, which will lead you right back to where you started.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Jealousy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do narcissists get jealous when you move on? Yes. When the narcissist sees you with someone else, they feel jealous.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists often view their partners as possessions rather than individuals with their desires and needs. When they see their ex with someone else, they may feel jealous that someone else is getting what they believe is rightfully theirs.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In their thoughts, another person controls their partner, and they can&rsquo;t stomach that. Consequently, they may become obsessed with their ex&rsquo;s new partner, stalking them on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-effects-on-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">social media<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or in person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-85213\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/New-Project-2023-04-07T180601.504.jpg\" alt=\"Sad depressed man \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Obsessive thoughts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are narcissists jealous when you move on? Yes, but they do other things. When a narcissist sees you have moved on, what does he do? A narcissist may start having obsessive thoughts once you date a new person.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t feel bad, as this has nothing to do with you. Narcissists tend to ruminate on their perceived losses, and seeing their ex with someone else can trigger obsessive thoughts that consume their minds.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also, they may constantly replay scenarios, imagining what they could have done differently to prevent the breakup or win their ex back or what they can do at the moment to have you back. This can lead to a cycle of self-blame and self-doubt that can be difficult to break.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. They seek revenge<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are narcissists jealous when you move on? Do narcissists get mad when you move on? Yes, they do. But guess what they might do next? Get revenge.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember, it&rsquo;s all a game of who wins and who loses for a chronic narcissist. You should know that narcissists won&rsquo;t go down without a fight when they see you have moved on.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some of the things a narcissist will do to show you that they won&rsquo;t affect defeat are:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Badmouthing you or your partner to other people<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Playing the victim<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Blaming you<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Acting like a saint in the presence of others|<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists will fight tooth and nail to ensure they stain your reputation while theirs remains intact.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Manipulation<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist sees you have moved on, what do they do? They try to manipulate you. Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to get what they want.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>As marriage mentor Christiana Njoku explains:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Narcissists are good at manipulating their partners into doing what they ordinarily would not want to be involved in because they derive fulfillment in their power to control.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When they see their ex with someone else, they may attempt to manipulate them into returning to them or abandoning their new partner.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may use guilt, shame, or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/how-to-handle-emotional-blackmail-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional blackmail<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to achieve their goals and may be willing to go to great lengths to get what they want. They aim to control and victimize you into doing their bidding. Whatever you do, don&rsquo;t fall for this tactic.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Gaslighting<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another tactic commonly employed when the narcissist sees you with someone else is gaslighting. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-of-gaslighting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gaslighting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser manipulates the victim&rsquo;s perception of reality.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist sees their ex with someone else, they may attempt to gaslight them into believing that the new partner is not as good as they seem or that the narcissist is the only one who truly understands and loves them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can be a very effective way for the narcissist to maintain control over their ex and prevent them from moving on. If you are not careful, you may believe them and leave your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Smear tactics<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist sees you with someone else, they use a smear campaign against you. A smear campaign is an effort to damage someone&rsquo;s reputation by spreading negative propaganda, lies, or false stories about them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists are often very concerned with their image and reputation. When they see their ex with someone else, they may attempt to damage their reputation to regain control.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may spread rumors or lies about their ex and their new partner, or they may attempt to turn mutual friends or acquaintances against them. This can be a very effective way for the narcissist to isolate their ex and prevent them from building a support network.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-85212\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/New-Project-2023-04-07T180622.311.jpg\" alt=\"Women found something suspicious on husband phone \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQs\"><\/span><b>FAQs<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the most discussed and searched questions related to what happens when a narcissist sees you with someone else.<\/span><b><\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>What happens when a narcissist sees you happy<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist&rsquo;s reaction to someone else&rsquo;s happiness can be unpredictable and may depend on various factors. Some narcissists may feel envious and resentful of the attention and validation the other person receives.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Others may dismiss the other person&rsquo;s happiness or see it as challenging their sense of superiority. In extreme cases, a narcissist may actively try to sabotage the other person&rsquo;s happiness.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s important to be cautious when dealing with a narcissist and to prioritize your well-being in interactions with them.<\/span><b><\/b><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>How does a narcissist feel when you cut them off?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist is cut off, their reaction may vary depending on the individual and the circumstances.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some may feel angry and resentful, as being rejected can be a blow to their sense of superiority and control. Others may try to manipulate or guilt-trip the person who cut them off to regain their attention and control.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, a narcissist may feel indifferent or even relieved if they have already found a new source of validation or if the relationship did not give them enough attention or adoration.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, it&rsquo;s important to prioritize your well-being and safety when dealing with a narcissist, as their reactions can be unpredictable and potentially harmful.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists are known for their display of superiority, high sense of self-importance, and constant need for excessive admiration. When it comes to dating, narcissists can be controlling and manipulative.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They like to influence and control their partner&rsquo;s decisions. Suppose you successfully end a relationship with a narcissist. In that case, you may wonder what happens when the narcissist sees you with another person.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article has shown you the common behavior of a narcissist when they see their ex with another person. Knowing these traits will ensure you are prepared and deal with your ex appropriately.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may also consider seeing a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship therapist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to give you more insights and suggest how to cope with a narcissist.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you&rsquo;ve just ended a relationship with a narcissist, you may ask yourself, &ldquo;What happens when a narcissist sees you with someone else? Read this article to the end to learn the answers.&nbsp; A relationship with a narcissist can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Your self-worth and self-esteem would be questioned and tarnished many times.&nbsp; Dating a narcissist causes you to question yourself and think low of yourself; therefore, if you have successfully moved out of a relationship with a narcissist, good riddance! However, this decision leaves many questions on the table. Do narcissists get jealous when you move on? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":85214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2507],"tags":[2723],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85210"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=85210"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111873,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85210\/revisions\/111873"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/85214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=85210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=85210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=85210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}