{"id":84382,"date":"2023-03-20T07:51:34","date_gmt":"2023-03-20T07:51:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=84382"},"modified":"2026-01-02T16:38:03","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T16:38:03","slug":"feeling-lonely-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/feeling-lonely-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Signs of Feeling Lonely in a Relationship & Ways to Deal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Dinner<\/p>\n

Loneliness can be a heavy feeling, especially when it shows up in a relationship. You might be sharing your life with someone, yet still feel disconnected… unheard… or even invisible at times.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s confusing, isn’t it?<\/span><\/p>\n

You care deeply about your partner, but something feels off. Maybe the conversations have become fewer, or the time spent together doesn’t feel as meaningful anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes, the distance between two people grows quietly without either person realizing it. It’s not always about physical space—emotional distance can leave an even bigger gap.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are feeling lonely in a relationship, you’re not alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What does feeling lonely in a relationship mean?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

“Why do I feel lonely in my relationship? I have a partner, but why do I feel alone?”<\/span><\/p>\n

All of us can feel lonely once in a while, whether we are in a relationship or not. However, <\/span>one must not confuse being alone with being lonely in a relationship<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling lonely has little to do with whether you have a partner or not. Some people may not feel lonely even when they are not in a<\/span> romantic relationship<\/span><\/a>, while others may feel lonely even when they are in a<\/span> long-term relationship<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Coach Silvana Mici<\/span><\/a> highlights,<\/span><\/p>\n

As a psychologist, I must emphasize that the main reason for feeling lonely often comes from within rather than being entirely caused by others.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, what does it mean to feel lonely in a relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n

You don’t feel lonely in a relationship just because your partner isn’t physically around all the time. You feel lonely when you don’t feel heard, valued, or emotionally connected to them.<\/b><\/p>\n

A person can start feeling lonely when their partner is physically present but is mentally absent. One can start feeling lonely in a relationship when they feel that their presence or absence has little effect on their partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

If two people cannot speak to each other about their feelings, fears, and thoughts, they may feel lonely in a relationship. All these feelings of loneliness are valid, and there are so many examples of loneliness in a relationship, depending on the cause of these feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>9 possible causes of loneliness in relationships<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Feeling alone in a relationship can be caused by many factors. It’s complicated, and it’s painful. You first have to identify why you are feeling alone in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is your partner the root cause, or is their lack of support that’s leaving you feeling neglected?<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are the 9 potential causes of feeling lonely in relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Codependency<\/b><\/h3>\n

Codependency happens when one partner is too needy, and the other allows themselves to be abused to fulfill their obligations. It’s okay to support and take care of your partner. <\/span>However, when it becomes excessive, you will lose your individuality in the process<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you may find yourself always saying “yes” to things you don’t want, or sacrificing your own needs just to keep the peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Studies show<\/span><\/a> that codependent individuals often become emotionally dependent on their relationships, prioritizing the needs of others above their own. They may struggle to set boundaries, find it difficult to say no, and often show signs of codependency, such as low self-esteem and relying heavily on others for validation.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>What Is Codependency – Causes, Signs & Treatment<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

2. Narcissistic\/Controlling partner<\/b><\/h3>\n

It’s when one partner uses blackmail, abuse, lies, and even violence to control their partner. One of the top causes of<\/span> loneliness in marriage<\/span><\/a> is realizing that they married a narcissist. <\/span><\/p>\n

There is no true happiness in this type of relationship because no matter what you do or how hard you try, a narcissist won’t love anyone<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, they may constantly criticize you, isolate you from friends, or make you feel like nothing you do is ever enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>25 Signs You’re in a Controlling Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

3. The negative partner<\/b><\/h3>\n

One partner is pessimistic about everything and resorts to substance abuse as an escape mechanism. They blame the world, their spouse, and everyone else, including the mailman, for their predicament.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if you love this person and try your best to help your partner, this can lead to being alone in a relationship<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your partner is present but is too occupied with their<\/span> negative thoughts<\/span><\/a>, needs, substance abuse, and so much more. In the end, this can lead to codependency or just the feeling of being alone in your battle.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you might notice that every conversation turns into complaining or that they shut you out when you try to stay positive.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How to Deal with a Negative Spouse: 12 Strategies<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

4. Trapped in a loveless relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"Bedtime<\/p>\n

Do you sometimes feel like you are becoming like a robot?<\/span><\/p>\n

Going through the same dull routine day after day, year after year?<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if you sleep in the same bed, there’s no meaningful conversation or intimate sex with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your relationship may have started exciting. Unfortunately, now, you find that each day has become dull and uninteresting. <\/b>You don’t share anything in common, and you always get on each other’s nerves. No one initiates open communication, and you don’t even have the same goals in life.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you may sit at dinner together but spend the entire evening in silence or on your phones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Coach Silvana is quick to point out,<\/span><\/p>\n

Communication is very important. In a relationship, open communication is the bridge to understanding. Share your feelings of loneliness with your partner, promoting a deeper connection.<\/span><\/p>\n

Express your feelings of loneliness to your partner in a non-blaming way. Create a safe space for both partners to share their emotions, concerns, and needs.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Anyone would start feeling lonely in a relationship in this case.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>13 Effects of a Loveless Marriage You Need to Know<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

5. Loving a cheater <\/b><\/h3>\n

You think everything is perfect. You have a beautiful house with a white picket fence. You can pay the bills with some leftovers for Doritos and pedicures, but find out that your partner is always out with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyone would start feeling alone in the relationship when their partner is cheating on them. <\/span><\/p>\n

What if it wasn’t just a one-time fling?<\/span><\/p>\n

There can be instances where their partners would cheat over and over again. This act of infidelity brings immeasurable loneliness to their partner<\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

It’s easy to imagine being married but lonely if you are in one of those relationships mentioned above. Most people don’t know how to deal with loneliness in such a situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you may feel betrayed when they lie about working late but are actually with someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How To Deal With A Cheater? 7 Things To Note If You Have A Cheating Partner<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

6. Long-distance relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n

A spouse may start feeling lonely in marriage when they are apart for a long time. Long-distance relationships are one of the most common reasons why this happens.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Research indicates<\/span><\/a> that being in a long-distance dating relationship is linked to psychological distress, including feelings of loneliness and uncertainty about the relationship. Many individuals in such relationships report that adjusting to being apart from their partner takes time.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

The reality is that being away from your partner can cause psychological effects of living alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, missing simple everyday things like sharing meals, hugs, or just sitting on the couch together can make the distance feel even bigger.<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Health problems or issues<\/b><\/h3>\n

Life is full of surprises, and unfortunately, some of these involve health challenges that can bring feelings of loneliness in marriage. <\/span>This may happen if your spouse is dealing with a chronic illness or recovering from a serious condition.<\/b><\/p>\n

The extra stress and adjustments in daily life can sometimes make you feel a little more distant from each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, one partner may take on more responsibilities at home while the other is focused on healing, creating an emotional imbalance.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How Illness Affects Relationships<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

8. Lack of emotional intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a strong relationship. <\/span>When partners stop sharing their innermost thoughts, fears, or feelings, a gap starts to form<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Over time, the lack of emotional connection can make one or both partners feel isolated and misunderstood, even if they’re physically together. This emotional distance can leave one feeling deeply alone in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you may talk daily about chores and schedules but never about dreams, worries, or what really matters to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>3 Reasons for Lack of Emotional Intimacy in Relationship<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

9. Unresolved conflict<\/b><\/h3>\n

When conflicts remain unresolved, they can fester and create emotional distance between partners. <\/span>Whether it’s ongoing disagreements about finances, parenting, or lifestyle choices, not addressing these issues can lead to feelings of frustration and loneliness<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Constant tension and unresolved problems can make it hard to feel close to your partner, leaving you emotionally isolated.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, arguments about money or family that never get resolved can turn into walls between you over time.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Is it normal to feel lonely in a relationship at times?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

It’s perfectly normal if you’re feeling lonely in a relationship from time to time. Even in the most loving partnerships, there are moments when you<\/span> may feel disconnected<\/span><\/a>… perhaps life gets busy, or you’re both going through different personal struggles.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s okay! Relationships aren’t always full of constant closeness<\/b>. Sometimes, you need to experience these quiet moments to realize what’s missing. What’s important is that you and your partner acknowledge these feelings and take steps to reconnect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Loneliness doesn’t mean something is wrong with the relationship; it’s simply a reminder that relationships require attention and effort to thrive.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>17 signs of loneliness in a relationship that you need to know<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Loneliness in a relationship can be subtle, creeping in even when you’re physically together.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to <\/span>Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a>, LPC<\/span><\/p>\n

Being in an abusive relationship, where you are physically, emotionally, sexually, psychologically, and financially <\/span>abused<\/span> is highly detrimental to your life. Stay <\/span>put<\/span> of it!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Recognizing the signs can help you understand what’s missing and address the emotional distance between you and your partner. Here are 17 signs to watch for if you’re feeling disconnected.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. You don’t long for each other anymore<\/b><\/h3>\n

Do you still remember when your partner went out for a couple of hours, and you already wanted to call them?<\/span><\/p>\n

When you see each other, it’s like you haven’t seen each other in months!  <\/span>It sounds too cheesy, but when you’re in love, that’s how it is.<\/b><\/p>\n

Now, that feeling has faded away. You don’t feel that intense excitement and desire to kiss each other. It makes you feel alone and lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s what it might look like:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n