![\"Divorce](\"http:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/13.jpg\" "\\"Divorce")
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You and your partner have been arguing for years. The same challenges and issues recur repeatedly without resolution. When you try to talk about these, you interrupt and blame each other which only makes matters worse. <\/span><\/p>\n There are many challenges, inclusive of:<\/span><\/p>\n You have read books on how to improve your relationship and have gone to relationship seminars. You’ve invited your partner to the seminars and to read the books with them but they are always offering a firm response that they are not interested in these. And in some of their angrier and disparaging moments, they’ve characterized your interests and endeavors as a bunch of hokey, New Age crap. Other times they’ve belittled you for your interest in self-exploration, self-growth, and spirituality. You have tried marital therapy a couple of times. Both times this was short-lived with each of you withdrawing soon after you began the process. <\/span><\/p>\n You both cited time constraints, financial concerns, and dislike of the therapist as reasons to cease the process.<\/span><\/p>\n In actuality, it was likely due to fear of you needing to look at your weaknesses, at your part in the marital problems <\/a>and conflicts, at your fears of intimacy and at the chasm of your wants and needs. <\/span><\/p>\n I’ve seen many people drop out of counseling citing the reasons that you two have used it believing it was really due to their fears. This is understandable as counseling, in order for it to be of value, takes work and commitment, and can be uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n As painful as things have been through the years they have gotten progressively worse and now are at a level where they are just about intolerable. The arguing has increased in both frequency and volatility. There is more cursing and name-calling. There’ve been some incidents where things have been thrown, where you’ve shoved one another and threatened one another. <\/span><\/p>\n Your two children are becoming increasingly affected by the arguing, the volatility, and the overall enmity that pervades the home. Your son is acting out more in school bullying the other students while your daughter has become more anxious, uncommunicative, and withdrawn. Her grades have been falling as well.<\/span><\/p>\n One thing that you and your partner agree upon is that you are truly hurting one another along with hurting your children. You want the intense pain to stop, both for yourselves and your children. You are in agreement that you want the marriage to end and that you want to get a divorce<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n You’re wondering how to end the marriage and with some semblance of respect, self-esteem, and amicability. <\/span><\/p>\n You’re wondering whether a therapist might help you to do so, even as previous efforts at counseling have not served you well. <\/span><\/p>\n You’re wondering whether there is even such a thing as divorce counseling. <\/span><\/p>\n Yes, there is. <\/span> No matter how you experience it and even if it is for the best, divorcing is a painful process. Your marriage, once filled with love, support, hope, certainty, and dreams, is coming to an end. <\/span><\/p>\n As noted above divorce counseling has many benefits and can make a very painful process easier. It will also increase the probability that you keep your problems between the two of you and that your children will not be asked to choose sides or be caught in a crossfire of your conflict. This is <\/span>extremely <\/span><\/i>important for their well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You and your partner have been arguing for years. The same challenges and issues recur repeatedly without resolution. When you try to talk about these, you interrupt and blame each other which only makes matters worse. There are many challenges, inclusive of: Differences around saving money and spending money: You want to save more for the future and establish financial security while your partner enjoys spending money and wants to enjoy the money in the present. Sexual differences: You need emotional intimacy in order to have sex yet as you feel withdrawn, unsupported, unheard, and uncared. You don’t have had <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":8327,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[2670],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8326"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8326"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41711,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8326\/revisions\/41711"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/span>What you’ve done so far…<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Why it didn’t work<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>What you’re asking yourself<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>Role of a divorce counselor<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n