

{"id":82718,"date":"2023-01-27T10:55:31","date_gmt":"2023-01-27T10:55:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=82718"},"modified":"2026-01-04T07:17:52","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T07:17:52","slug":"couple-arguing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/couple-arguing\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Things That Couples Argue About the Most"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-82721\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/New-Project-2023-01-27T161943.783.jpg\" alt=\"Couple having conflicts in relationship \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When people see lovey-dovey pictures of couples on the internet, they may wish to have a relationship that looks as beautiful as theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, many people are unaware that beneath good-looking pictures, couples may experience tough conflicts. This does not exclude that these conflicts can be handled appropriately when the right steps are taken.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this article, you will learn the common reasons why couple arguments happen and the ideal way to handle them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-reasons-why-couples-argue\"><\/span><b>10 reasons why couples argue<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every relationship or marriage is likely to experience conflict because of the peculiarities of both partners. Some reasons why spouses might argue are sometimes general issues that many couples experience.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the reasons for couple arguments<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Communication<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When communication is not up to par, it can cause conflict in the relationship. Some partners may complain that their better half does not invest enough time in communicating with them. The lack of constant communication can be one of the reasons why you would find a couple arguing.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/effective-relationship-communication-skills\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships for Healthy Marriages<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. Intimacy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another reason why relationship arguments may occur is when intimacy is not a regular feature in a relationship. One of the partners might not be dedicating enough time to be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/intimate-conversation\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">intimate with their partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, which could affect the one on the receiving end. Spending more intimate time with your partner can be one of the solutions to reducing arguments in the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Time<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/relationships-need-quality-time\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quality time<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is an essential ingredient in every relationship, and when it is missing, couples are likely to argue about it. Therefore, partners need to figure out how to fight off every factor that might prevent them from spending time with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Jealousy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-of-jealousy-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">jealousy exists in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it can cause arguments between couples. For example, some partners may be jealous of each other&rsquo;s progress in different aspects of their lives. This jealousy can even cause rivalry at some point, which may lead to constant arguing with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. The Past<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the reasons that might cause couple arguments is when they keep bringing up issues in the past. Sometimes, it might be a sign that one party has not healed from the incident that occurred then. However, it is best to let things stay in the past and focus on the present and future.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/should-you-tell-your-partner-everything-about-your-past\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Should You Tell Your Partner Everything About Your Past or Not?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>6. Responsibilities<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Responsibilities or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/hidden-challenge-in-every-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">chores in a relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are one of the reasons why couples argue. If there are no clear-cut rules on how couples in the relationship handle these responsibilities, it can cause frequent arguments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-82720\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/New-Project-2023-01-27T162003.336.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple arguing with each other \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Control<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some partners might want to exert control or dominance over the other person because they probably want them to do their bidding. However, in a healthy relationship, control doesn&rsquo;t exist. Rather, both parties work together as a team to move the union in the right direction.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Future plans<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to laying out plans for the future, it might be exhausting and can cause friction in the relationship when both parties have different opinions or perspectives. Therefore, avoiding arguments when making plans can be done when discussions are done respectfully and healthily.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Cleanliness<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If one of the partners in a relationship is not clean, the other party might not be comfortable with their habit. Hence, they might only be able to stop arguing about it when the defaulting party decides to improve their behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/reasons-to-help-your-wife-clean-the-house\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7 Reasons Why You Should Be Helping Your Wife Clean the House<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>10. Poor listening skills<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When one partner lacks good listening skills, it can cause couple arguments. This might be because one party does not pick out the details when conversing with their partner. When people hear instead of listening, they might need help to pick up the nuances of each discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To learn more about couples arguments and common marital problems, check out this insightful study by Amy J Rauer and other authors. This study is titled: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/335327845_What_are_the_Marital_Problems_of_Happy_Couples_A_Multimethod_Two-Sample_Investigation\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are the Marital Problems of Happy Couples<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You will learn more about these problems in this Multimethod, Two-sample investigation.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-things-that-couples-argue-about\"><\/span><b>10 things that couples argue about<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is quite usual for couples to argue about different things in their relationships. Often, it is because they hold opposing views, and each party wants to be listened to. Here are the common things arguing couples may quarrel about.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Sex<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In relationships or marriages, sex is one of the common features that both parties may argue about. This might be because one partner is not getting enough satisfaction as they should while the other partner may not have the capacity to meet their partner&rsquo;s expectations. To avoid arguing about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/physical-intimacy\/regular-sex-can-make-relationship-better\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sex regularly<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, couples may need to discuss and find a balance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-82719\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/New-Project-2023-01-27T162032.331.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple having an argument \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Money<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Money is one of the causes of couples&rsquo; <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-handle-arguments-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">arguments in relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Usually, this happens when there is no structure in the relationship on how finances should be handled.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, one of the partners in the relationship might feel overwhelmed because of the expenses, and they might revolt, which could lead to an argument.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LPC:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">To avoid arguments in the area of finance, couples should be financially independent and committed to the relationship. Resentment can set in if the financial responsibility is handled by a partner.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>3. Family<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some partners might not have a smooth relationship with their in-laws, which might cause couple arguments. To avoid such, it is essential to create healthy boundaries that promote a good rapport between couples and their in-laws.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Parenting styles<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For people who have children, they might experience couple arguments when it comes to different <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/different-parenting-styles\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">parenting styles<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The couple needs to create a balanced plan that should be consistently practiced to make parenting more rewarding.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Talking to ex-partners<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For questions like why do couples argue, one of the reasons might be when one of them is still communicating actively with their ex-partner. This act can breed mistrust and jealousy in the relationship, and it might make the other partner start doubting their place in the union.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Sharing private information with third parties<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The act of giving private or sensitive information to people outside the relationship can also be the cause of couple arguments. It is important to mention that not all information should be privy to third parties. Such information should be kept within the confines of the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/privacy-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Much Privacy in a Relationship Is Acceptable?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>7. Religion<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, couple arguments might occur due to differences in the choice of religion. However, it may be difficult for them to achieve a balance when it comes to this, so it is best to create a system that promotes respect for each other&rsquo;s religion.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Being possessive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another reason why couple arguments may happen is when one partner is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-being-possessive\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">being too possessive<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. One of the partners might always want to be around their spouse without giving them space for personal time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In such cases, it is advisable to strike a balance by realizing that everyone craves their space even though they are in a romantic relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch this video to learn the signs that you&rsquo;re in a possessive relationship:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/NMLzpYCmKQY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Choice of friends<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes when couples argue, it might be because of their choice of friends. For example, one party might not be comfortable with their partner&rsquo;s circle of friends due to reasons best known to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/friendship-before-relationship-12-reasons-why-you-should-accept-being-his-friend\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">12 Reasons Why You Need to Build Friendship Before Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>10. Support system<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a support system is one of the things that many people crave. However, if partners cannot rely on each other to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/emotional-intimacy\/ways-to-improve-emotional-support-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">support the relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it can turn loveable partners into an arguing couple.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-handle-relationship-arguments\"><\/span><b>How to handle relationship arguments<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When couple arguments are not handled the right way, it can cause resentment in the long run. All relationships experience conflicts, but knowing how to handle them appropriately might determine if the relationship is heading in the right direction.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the effective ways to handle two people arguing in a relationship is to establish boundaries. Both parties should be treated respectfully, and arguments should be devoid of name-calling. It is also important to learn to compromise when neither party is willing to shift their ground. Sometimes, compromising allows both parties to find a middle ground where each person will feel content with the result.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Christiana Njoku highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>There&rsquo;s no relationship without conflict, and to resolve this conflict, couples should be willing to accept responsibility for their actions and not argue to win.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To learn more about handling relationship arguments, this book titled <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com.ng\/books\/about\/The_Couples_Manual.html?id=AzreoQEACAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Couples&rsquo; Manual<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by Don Ferguson is for you. This book contains a Do-It-Yourself Guide to building, repairing, and maintaining Exceptional Relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can also refer to this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-handle-arguments-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">article <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">for detailed advice on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-handle-arguments-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to handle relationship arguments<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"FAQ\"><\/span><b>FAQ<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&rsquo;s look at some of the most asked questions about the reasons why couples argue commonly.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Is it better to ignore or argue?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If possible, avoiding arguments or not ignoring your partner might be best. One of the most suitable things to do is to have conversations that are not heated. When having such discussions, each party should be allowed to air their minds respectably.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With the points mentioned in this piece, you may have realized that many relationships experience couple arguments. However, these arguments can be nipped in the bud when both parties are intentional about making the relationship work.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To learn more about how to handle married people arguing, you can go for <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">couples counseling<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or take a course on conflict resolution.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stopping arguments in a relationship might be challenging, but Sharon Rivkin has a solution for couples in this situation in her book titled <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com.ng\/books\/about\/Breaking_the_Argument_Cycle.html?id=8HFwmwEACAAJ&amp;redir_esc=y\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Breaking the Argument Cycle<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This book contains quintessential tips to stop arguments and resolve conflicts.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When people see lovey-dovey pictures of couples on the internet, they may wish to have a relationship that looks as beautiful as theirs. However, many people are unaware that beneath good-looking pictures, couples may experience tough conflicts. This does not exclude that these conflicts can be handled appropriately when the right steps are taken. In this article, you will learn the common reasons why couple arguments happen and the ideal way to handle them. 10 reasons why couples argue Every relationship or marriage is likely to experience conflict because of the peculiarities of both partners. Some reasons why spouses might <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":82721,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2502],"tags":[2604],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82718"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=82718"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115771,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82718\/revisions\/115771"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/82721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=82718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=82718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=82718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}