{"id":82299,"date":"2023-01-18T18:01:40","date_gmt":"2023-01-18T18:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=82299"},"modified":"2023-01-19T06:48:02","modified_gmt":"2023-01-19T06:48:02","slug":"post-infidelity-stress-disorder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/post-infidelity-stress-disorder\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Post Infidelity Stress Disorder? Symptoms & Recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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No one should have to live with constant trembling, nausea, and disorientation, yet that’s what people often do. What about withdrawal or self-destructive habits? Deep down, you know if that’s you. <\/span>You can recover from post-infidelity stress disorder no matter how bad things seem.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/span>Understanding post-infidelity stress disorder<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Most of us know about post-traumatic stress disorder. Many films have even reenacted the painful memory flashbacks that people, for example war veterans, experience. Similarly, <\/span>post-infidelity stress disorder can cause such anxiety that affected people replay certain events in their minds.<\/b><\/p>\n

Those initially innocent events will now be replayed with the betrayal in mind. Some victims will also include an angle where they blame themselves regardless of whether that’s true.<\/span><\/p>\n

Those thoughts can become obsessive and overwhelming to the point that people can no longer function properly in their day to day.<\/b><\/p>\n

So, what is PISD disorder? As this <\/span>paper<\/span><\/a> on post-infidelity stress disorder explains, the term coined by psychologist Denis Ortman <\/span>refers to the extreme stress from the anxiety caused by a romantic partner’s betrayal.<\/b><\/p>\n

When the body is under chronic stress for a long period, you will eventually experience post-traumatic infidelity syndrome. <\/span>That’s where the body goes into survival mode and the brain stays in fight-or-flight mode.<\/b><\/p>\n

The symptoms that ensue are then very similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. So, can infidelity cause PTSD? In many ways, yes, as further shown in this <\/span>paper on infidelity-related PTSD<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>There will be some subtle differences, but with both, victims will experience numbness, fear and even rage. <\/b><\/p>\n

<\/span>5 indications of potential post-infidelity stress disorder<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

The intensity of post-infidelity stress disorder symptoms varies case by case. Moreover, <\/span>those with a traumatic past or dependent personalities usually feel the shock of betrayal more deeply and are more likely to develop PISD disorder.<\/b><\/p>\n

After all, they’re still rebuilding their world, which is another nail in the coffin against trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nevertheless, anyone can experience some or all of these after a betrayal or as Frank Pittman calls it in his book “Private Lies: <\/span>Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy<\/span><\/a>, “a breaking of an agreement.” <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Hypersensitivity<\/b><\/h3>\n

Some of the most common PTSD cheating symptoms revolve around being on high alert, which makes people unusually sensitive and reactive.<\/span><\/p>\n

This can feel like heart palpitations, jumpiness and even sweaty palms. Worst of all, you can’t sleep or focus and you might even lose your appetite.<\/b><\/p>\n

We mentioned earlier that the brain goes into a fight-or-flight mode to protect you. Essentially, your trust was broken, so now you put up a wall to defend yourself, just like a caged animal who’s regularly beaten jumps at the slightest sound.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Obsessive thoughts and nightmares<\/b><\/h3>\n

What is PISD disorder if not a constant stream of intrusive thoughts and distressing memories? <\/b>These often become those well-known flashbacks that come to mind when we consider post-traumatic stress disorder.<\/span><\/p>\n

All this happens because of the mind’s hyper-aroused state, where it can’t find peace or stillness. <\/b>It’s as if the fear is being turned over and over in your mind in multiple ways so that nothing can <\/span>surprise you<\/span><\/a> into danger again.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Confusion and dissociation<\/b><\/h3>\n

Suffering post-traumatic <\/span>infidelity<\/span><\/a> syndrome is confusing because reality and illusion blend. <\/span>This can create a sense of emptiness and numbness such that you blank out chunks of time.<\/b><\/p>\n

In short, you operate automatically without feeling anything or noticing what’s happening around you. It’s the mind’s way of shutting you off from more pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

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In the long run, it causes bigger issues as you get sucked into the black hole of despair.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Withdrawal and depression<\/b><\/h3>\n

PTSD <\/span>cheating symptoms<\/span><\/a> often include shutting away from the world. Not only is the reality all fuzzy and confusing but it feels dangerous. <\/span>Ironically, the mind believes it’s helping you move forward but it’s stunting the healing process.<\/b><\/p>\n

You need people around you to help you reconnect with the world and shutting them off only adds to the vicious circle of depression. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading<\/i><\/b>: <\/span><\/i>Symptoms of Depression in Women: Types Causes and Treatment<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
5. Physical ailments<\/b><\/h3>\n
The body and mind are connected in deeper ways than many realize. For instance, your gut constantly sends messages to your brain and your mind interprets, non-stop, body sensations into emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n
Most of this happens without you realizing it and even more so after trauma. The body never forgets trauma even if the mind numbs you from it.<\/span><\/p>\n
The resulting fight-or-flight mode the body sustains means an excess flow of chemicals such as cortisol which, over time, create physical pain and disease, including high heart pressure, among others.<\/b><\/p>\n
Initially, you might feel off-balance or that your sleep patterns are wrong. <\/b>Either way, your body is crying out for you to heal yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>Recovering from post infidelity stress disorder<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
If you’re suffering from PISD disorder, you’ll know just how draining and demoralizing it is. The good news is that there is hope.<\/span><\/p>\n
As you can see from this US National Institute of<\/span> Mental Health <\/span>article<\/span><\/a> on post-traumatic stress disorder, <\/span>some recover from PTSD as quickly as within 6 months. Others face chronic PTSD, which can last longer, but there can still be an end.<\/b><\/p>\n
PISD is a sub-group of PTSD, so you can use the same data to get a sense. <\/span><\/p>\n
1. Journal to process emotions<\/b><\/h3>\n
You might feel like it’s the end of the world. In a way, yes, life will never be the same, but you can be part of creating who the new you will be.<\/span><\/p>\n
Tough as it might sound, treatment starts by facing the emotions linked to your PTSD cheating experience<\/b>. One of the most powerful tools to start safely doing that is journaling. <\/span><\/p>\n
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As Khiron clinic details in their article on <\/span>Journaling for Trauma<\/span><\/a>, the act of writing helps us process and regulate emotions. Moreover, you’re more likely to start seeing other viewpoints with potential opportunities for insight and growth.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading<\/i><\/b>: <\/span><\/i>14 Tips on How to Control Your Emotions in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. Hypnotherapy<\/b><\/h3>\n
One accepted technique to recover from PTSD, and therefore post-infidelity stress disorder, is hypnotherapy.<\/span><\/p>\n
Hypnotherapy<\/span><\/a> can allow you to access those memories that have been hidden away in your subconsciousness. Throughout the therapy, you’re guided to restructure your memories in a more neutral way.<\/b><\/p>\n
3. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)<\/b><\/h3>\n
EMDR<\/span><\/a> was developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the 90s to treat PTSD. <\/span>The idea is that rapid eye movement can reduce anxiety as you hold a traumatic memory in your mind.<\/b><\/p>\n
The same concept can be applied to dealing with the results of an infidelity PTSD test, although you’ll need to make sure you go to a therapist certified to conduct EMDR.<\/span><\/p>\n
It’s also worth noting that while there’s little risk associated with EMDR, it is a highly controversial therapy.<\/b> Many claim there isn’t enough evidence to flaunt its success, as noted in this<\/span> ScientificAmerican article on the <\/span>challenges linked with EMDR<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n
4. Group therapy<\/b><\/h3>\n
For some, individual therapy can feel too daunting at first. There’s a huge advantage in working through your post-infidelity stress disorder within the framework of a group.<\/span><\/p>\n
At some point, people usually need individual therapy. Regardless, group sessions can make you feel safe to start sharing your story and talking about <\/b>how you feel<\/b><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n
Essentially, being surrounded by people who are also suffering reminds you that you’re not alone. You also finally start feeling that you belong somewhere and eventually, trust starts growing again. <\/span><\/p>\n
5. Therapy<\/b><\/h3>\n
As you can imagine, therapy is also highly recommended for post-infidelity stress disorder. Depending on what feels right for you, research the various approaches. These include cognitive behavioral therapy as well as family therapy and of course, relationship counseling. <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading<\/i><\/b>: <\/span><\/i>Benefits of Therapy: 10 Reasons Why Seeing a Therapist Can Improve Your Life<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>5 ways to manage post-infidelity stress disorder <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
If you’ve completed the post-infidelity stress disorder test, perhaps you’re wondering what’s next. Review these ideas to start helping yourself to heal.<\/span><\/p>\n
1. Reach out to trusted people <\/b><\/h3>\n
When facing PISD, you’ve given up on people and the life around you. <\/span>Learning to <\/b>trust again<\/b><\/a> is an important part of healing but you can’t do that alone.<\/b><\/p>\n
Try to find at least 2 or 3 trusted people you can call when you’re in a panic or a dark hole. They’ll help you reconnect to yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n
2. Reconnect mind and body <\/b><\/h3>\n
Navigating post-infidelity stress disorder means experiencing everything in the body and mind. <\/span>The more you push away emotions and the body sensations that go with them, the more they build up and fester.<\/b><\/p>\n
Instead, exercise, go for a walk or even go dancing. The act of moving helps release your emotions as is <\/span>shown<\/span><\/a> in this paper on using movement to regulate emotions. <\/span><\/p>\n
3. Self-care <\/b><\/h3>\n
Looking after yourself doesn’t just mean pampering yourself. <\/span>It also means prioritizing the right activities that support your quality of life. <\/b><\/p>\n
So, are you seeing people who make you feel good about yourself? How are you prioritizing activities that make you feel safe? <\/span><\/p>\n
Have a look at this video for more tips on how to create a morning routine to fight depression:<\/span><\/p>\n