{"id":81988,"date":"2022-12-29T08:08:47","date_gmt":"2022-12-29T08:08:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=81988"},"modified":"2023-10-31T15:45:30","modified_gmt":"2023-10-31T15:45:30","slug":"what-is-marriage-coaching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/what-is-marriage-coaching\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Marriage Coaching? How Is It Different From Marriage Counseling?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Couple<\/p>\n

To be human is to have baggage. Regardless of the severity of our past traumas, we all develop emotional triggers. We can either ignore them and hurt each other or accept that we all need guidance. Whether you choose marriage coaching or counseling, life becomes more bearable. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What to expect from marriage coaching <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Did you know that the discomfort of asking for help starts in children as young as seven? In her article, “<\/span>asking for help is hard<\/span><\/a>,” a Stanford researcher explains that asking for help often makes us feel weak or inferior. <\/span><\/p>\n

The very opposite is true. Asking for help is brave. It’s also a good thing to do for those who help us because we’re wired to encourage social interactions by helping each other. <\/span><\/p>\n

So, don’t hesitate to connect to a marriage life coach if you feel stuck in your relationship. They will help you ground yourself, explore <\/span>healthy communication<\/span><\/a> habits and find ways to better relate to others, including your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage coaches are your thought partners who hold up the mirror to you so you can gain awareness of how you both impact the dynamic in your relationship. They won’t give you the answers, but they’ll ask you questions so you can find your solutions. <\/span><\/p>\n

Together, you create a plan to become better versions of yourselves within your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Coaches observe how you interact and communicate to guide you in creating this plan. This then forms the basis for how they hold you accountable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Within that, coaches give you exercises and homework so you can practice tools and skills to <\/span>improve your relationship<\/span><\/a> together. Some online marriage coaching websites take these exercises and form a more structured plan or advice program for you to follow.<\/span><\/p>\n

There’s nothing wrong with getting advice, and coaches often find themselves doing that at appropriate times. Nevertheless, relationships only improve when both people change something within themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

And inner change comes from self-awareness and self-discovery, not from being given advice.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Five ways marriage coaching can support you<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Man<\/p>\n

Online marriage coaching is about initiating inner change to <\/span>fix relationship problems<\/span><\/a>. The first step is an exploration of the current behaviors before coaches can deploy a range of techniques. <\/span><\/p>\n

Typical techniques, as explained in this Henley Business School article on “how coaches and leaders facilitate behavioral change,” include focusing on solutions, reinforcing positive behaviors, befriending our emotions, and socratic questioning. <\/span><\/p>\n

You might now notice an overlap between counseling and therapy, especially as you review the following benefits. In short, coaching focuses on building for the future, and counseling focuses on using the past to fix the present. <\/span><\/p>\n

1. Gain insight<\/b><\/h3>\n

Marriage coaching online builds your understanding of where tough emotions come from. You learn techniques to create distance with those emotions so they don’t overwhelm you such that you react. <\/span><\/p>\n

With time, you become more skilled at staying calm and listening. Strong emotions tend to hijack our minds, so listening becomes impossible. Instead, as you become more intimate with the process, you learn to manage feelings and ensuing behaviors. <\/span><\/p>\n

2. Learn conflict management techniques <\/b><\/h3>\n

Knowing your emotions will allow you to appreciate where they come from. So, a fear of abandonment feels terrifying and can be triggered by your partner working long hours. <\/span><\/p>\n

With marriage helper coaching, you learn to talk about those feelings and to find ways to ask your partner if you can find a middle ground. On the one hand, they manage their workload, but on the other hand, they carve out time for you and the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

One powerful technique which takes practice is the <\/span>non-violent communication framework<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading<\/i><\/b>: <\/span><\/i>5 Relationship Strategies & Techniques to Eliminate Stress<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
3. Build self-esteem<\/b><\/h3>\n
When we’re in a <\/span>marriage conflict<\/span><\/a>, we tend to forget all the positives. Coaches can help you reconnect with what valuable traits you and your partner bring to the relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n
With time, you build a more positive belief about yourself and learn to manage your inner critic. A coach might do that with you and your partner separately as well as give you the exercise to work on together. <\/span><\/p>\n
Challenging your inner critic with the help of your partner can reignite the deep bond you might have once felt. After all, there’s nothing more effective than being vulnerable together to reconnect as the fragile humans we all are. Empathy naturally follows. <\/span><\/p>\n
Watch this School of Life video to explore the benefits of vulnerability further: <\/span><\/p>\n