{"id":81719,"date":"2022-12-09T09:24:01","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T09:24:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=81719"},"modified":"2025-08-21T06:55:52","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T06:55:52","slug":"when-a-narcissist-cant-control-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/when-a-narcissist-cant-control-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How Does a Narcissist React When They Can\u2019t Control You Anymore?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Young<\/p>\n

Charm, charisma, and confidence, or the 3Cs of narcissism<\/b> coined by narcissist psychotherapist expert<\/span> Dr. Ramani Durvasula<\/span><\/a>, are often why we fall for narcissists. <\/span>The dark side is that you also face controlling, careless, and condemning behaviors.<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n

So, how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you? <\/span><\/p>\n

Read this article to learn more about various aspects of a narcissist’s reaction when they lose control that they had over you previously. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is narcissism? <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

While the word narcissism and the phrase narcissist control have almost become mainstream, there is a huge debate. <\/span><\/p>\n

As this review of the<\/span> controversies in narcissism<\/span><\/a> explains<\/span>, <\/b>there are various models and theories that attempt to define narcissism.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

The key point to note is that there’s a range of symptoms, from healthy narcissism to pathological narcissistic personality disorder. <\/span>While the media quickly calls these people vain and self-centered, they are usually deeply insecure. <\/b>This insecurity makes them feel so vulnerable that they need constant validation. <\/span><\/p>\n

Without this validation, they may quickly become narcissistic control freaks in a misguided attempt to protect their fragile self-esteem. So, how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you? <\/span>They’ll do anything to regain that control to feel in power and assertively. <\/b><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How Does a Narcissist Handle Rejection and No-Contact<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

<\/span>Symptoms of a narcissist’s manipulation<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

What does a narcissist mean when they brag about their achievements, lie, or antagonize you? It all comes down to trying to hide a deep shame by attempting to control you.<\/span><\/p>\n

As children, either controlling or dismissive parents may have crushed their self-esteem. <\/b><\/p>\n

As this<\/span> psychology review<\/span><\/a> on narcissistic personality disorder explains, <\/span>they then learned unhealthy coping mechanisms to cover an extreme lack of self-love.<\/b> This can come across as controlling, paranoid, or entitled.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

Narcissists often lie<\/span>, infantilize, and gaslight you. They can put you down, and yet they crave your admiration. <\/b>These tactics are all an attempt to control you because they artificially boost your self-esteem by exerting their power. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sadly, narcissists destroy who they cannot control. There’s no escaping this fact unless you do something about it. Try to remember that it’s rarely with malicious intent. <\/span><\/p>\n

Most narcissists aren’t aware of their behaviors, which is why<\/span> their rage can seem so out of control. Essentially, they’re only reacting to feeling lost and confused<\/b>. They feel no empathy for others but are at a complete loss regarding their emotions. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What happens when a narcissist loses control over you?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n