

{"id":81210,"date":"2022-11-10T07:40:01","date_gmt":"2022-11-10T07:40:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=81210"},"modified":"2026-01-02T16:01:48","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T16:01:48","slug":"serial-monogamist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/serial-monogamist\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Signs That You\u2019re Dating a Serial Monogamist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81215\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-10T130441.376.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple showing love affection \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever wondered if you are dating a serial monogamist? This article can explain what that means and how to know if you are.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep reading for more guidance on this topic and advice on how to know if this is an issue in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-a-serial-monogamist\"><\/span><b>What is a serial monogamist?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are wondering about the serial monogamist meaning, it refers to <\/span><b>an individual that has devoted relationships and is rarely single.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This may mean that <\/span><b>shortly after one relationship has run its course, you will see them in another one<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It doesn&rsquo;t matter how long these relationships are, just that a person is in one more often than not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some, this means they will get engaged or married in their relationships, but in other cases, a monogamist of this type may not want to become married or engaged at all.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-a-monogamous-relationship\"><\/span><b>What is a monogamous relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81214\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-10T130458.644.jpg\" alt=\"Man hugging woman from back \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In general terms, a monogamous relationship means that you and your partner choose to be in a relationship that is just the two of you and you are committed to each other.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An example is a marriage, where two people devote themselves to&nbsp; one another long-term. In many cultures, this is the expected course of action, but this isn&rsquo;t always the case.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more information on relationships, you can watch this video:<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=M99GW9o-Fus\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/M99GW9o-Fus\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5-signs-that-you%E2%80%99re-dating-a-serial-monogamist\"><\/span><b>5 signs that you&rsquo;re dating a serial monogamist<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to serial monogamous relationships, there are a few ways to tell if you are in one. Here&rsquo;s a look at 5 signs that you should be aware of.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. They have only had serious relationships<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your partner has only had <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/serious-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">serious relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and if many of them were long-term, this is one of the main serial monogamous characteristics to consider.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may be rushing the dating process, so they can prevent themselves from being single. While this isn&rsquo;t always the case, it is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is vital to talk to your mate about their dating history if this is important to you, so you are able to discuss your expectations and rules related to your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. They don&rsquo;t ask about your past relationships<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another clue is that they don&rsquo;t ask you about your past relationships or they are not interested in your dating history when you are trying to tell them about your life before you met them.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, a monogamist may not really care about the details, as long as you are willing to be in a relationship with them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider how your partner behaves <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/danger-behind-talking-to-an-ex\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">when you try to talk to them about exes<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or how you feel about relationships in general.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they don&rsquo;t want to engage in these conversations or don&rsquo;t want to hear what you have to say, this is something that you should take note of.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. They may be very dependent on you<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Something else you might notice is that your partner is very dependent on you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may not know what to do with themselves or be unable to make decisions on simple things, like what to eat for dinner or what to wear, and expect you to pick up the slack in these areas.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Besides this, they may not rely on your opinions on any other issues. Perhaps you want to talk about something in the news that bothers you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This type of monogamist might not be interested in talking to you about this subject nor care about how you feel about it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. They are likely inattentive to your feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever had an argument or disagreement with your mate, and they didn&rsquo;t really care about your point of view or your side?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This could be another one of the obvious serial monogamy examples that may be present. Your partner may not have any desire to notice your feelings or care about what you&rsquo;re going through. Instead, they may be only worried about how they feel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/peerj.com\/articles\/4831\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows that when both parties are able to convey how they feel, this can lead to fewer disagreements, or your arguments may be minor. However, if each person&rsquo;s thoughts and feelings aren&rsquo;t taken into consideration, this can be harmful to your relationship and in terms of communication.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. They take up a lot of your time and energy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some relationships, your partner may end up taking up a lot of your time and energy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LPC<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Being in a relationship should boost and not drain you.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overall, you might have to devote yourself to making sure they are happy and getting their needs met.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To a certain degree, this is likely to take place in most relationships, but when this is not being reciprocated, this is something to watch out for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel like you are exhausted because of the amount of energy you are putting into your relationship, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/heart-to-heart-relationship-conversations\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">talk to your partner<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about this. They may be willing to make changes and meet you halfway, or they may not. However, you won&rsquo;t know for sure until you ask.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-do-serial-monogamists-act-when-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>How do serial monogamists act when in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81213\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-10T130517.716.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple enjoying nature \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While everyone is different, there are a few ways that serial monogamists may act in a relationship. For one, they may be in a hurry to enter into a committed or long-term relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Essentially, they might not be interested in taking their time getting to know you before they want to become serious or move in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, they may need to depend on you for many things throughout the course of the relationship. They might count on you to fulfill your needs and help them feel better at all times.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some may expect you to calm them down when they are feeling anxious and upset while not concentrating on how you feel or being able to help you when you aren&rsquo;t feeling your best.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep in mind that not all serial monogamists act in the same manner, however. It may be that a person simply likes to be in relationships and doesn&rsquo;t want to date casually.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is why it is important to be open with your mate and find out as much as you can about them and tell them about yourself as well. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/16-principles-for-effective-communication\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are able to communicate effectively<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, this may be beneficial in terms of the longevity of your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is-serial-monogamy-harmful\"><\/span><b>Is serial monogamy harmful?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Serial monogamy may be harmful in some instances. For example, a serial monogamist may jump from relationship to relationship quickly, which doesn&rsquo;t leave a lot of time to develop feelings for someone.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, they may be pretending that they have a strong bond with their partner when in reality, they don&rsquo;t know much about them and aren&rsquo;t devoted to the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Additionally, if a person doesn&rsquo;t take time to process their feelings after a relationship ends before <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/starting-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">starting a new one<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, this can also be an issue that affects their overall wellness.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-attachment-influences-serial-monogamy\"><\/span><b>How attachment influences serial monogamy?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81212\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-10T130535.852.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple showing affection \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is thought that a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/parenting\/how-does-childhood-trauma-and-attachment-styles-show-up-in-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">child&rsquo;s attachment style<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> influences all types of relationships that a person has throughout their life.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An attachment style is something that is cultivated as a baby and involves the care that is given by your first caregiver, usually your mom, dad, or another close relative.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In simple terms, if your needs are met by your parents when you are a baby, where cries are attended to regularly and you are given the things you need, this usually leads to secure attachment.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, if your needs aren&rsquo;t met or the way you are cared for changes from day to day, this can lead to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/insecure-attachment-style\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">insecure attachment<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a person experiences insecure attachment, this could cause them to act in specific ways in romantic relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, a person who engages in serial monogamy might be scared to be by themselves and become anxious when they are not in a relationship. They may also become<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4845754\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">codependent<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with their partners in order to feel more comfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-break-the-cycle-of-serial-monogamy\"><\/span><b>How to break the cycle of serial monogamy<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you know serial monogamy definition and what it encompasses, you may be interested in knowing <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/break-the-cycle-of-negative-communication-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how you can break the cycle<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of serial monogamy. There are a few things that you may be able to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Christiana Njoku highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>To get clarity on how to deal and better manage your relationship with a monogamist partner, you need to seek professional help.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are a serial monogamist, and you are aware of it, you should consider <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/what-is-a-mental-health-counselor\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">working with a mental health therapist<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to determine if you are rushing into relationships when you may not be ready to do so.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, this type of monogamy is associated with someone experiencing a mental health concern, which is another reason to consider therapy. A professional may also be able to help you determine why you don&rsquo;t feel comfortable being single.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Therapy can even help you understand if the way you choose to enter into relationships is something you should be concerned about or not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are in a relationship with a serial monogamist, you may also want to seek counseling, either by yourself or with your partner, in order to be able to understand them better and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/8-tips-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">learn to communicate with each other properly<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Together you can determine the pace of the relationship and get to learn more about each other before you make a big commitment.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Besides that, you may want to talk to others you trust about what is happening within your relationship. They might be able to provide advice or their point of view on the matter.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"More-questions-on-dating-a-serial-monogamist\"><\/span><b>More questions on dating a serial monogamist<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81211\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-10T130556.390.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple on a date \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check out these questions on dating a serial monogamist:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Which behavior is an example of serial monogamy?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One behavior that you may notice from serial monogamists is that they might not pay attention to your feelings and what you want to do.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, they could be fully focused on their wants and needs. This is something that may be problematic for your relationship, so make sure to pay attention to this sign if you notice it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another example that may be noteworthy is when your partner expects you to cheer them up and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-show-someone-you-care\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make them feel better<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but they never do this for you. This is an unfair balance, which could lead to further problems within your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Why do people become serial monogamists?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People may become serial monogamists because of the type of attachment they developed with their caregiver as a baby.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they weren&rsquo;t cared for properly, this could lead to repercussions in future relationships. A person may seek out relationships when they are anxious or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/fear-of-being-alone-in-love-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">scared of being single<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &nbsp; &nbsp; .<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationships that you engage in when you are an<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC6650954\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">adolescent<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> may also set the tone for future relationships. For instance, if you had positive experiences with relationships as you were growing up, this could lead to positive experiences as you grow into adulthood.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, a person may behave in this manner because they like it better than being by themselves or dating; it doesn&rsquo;t have to be something negative.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage is a goal that many people seek, and this usually involves dating someone long-term or being in a committed relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are many things that you may want to know about what a serial monogamist is and what causes this type of behavior, including the definitions and signs that are described above.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep in mind that this behavior might be a symptom of a mental health concern, or it could be due to the attachment style they developed as an infant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Furthermore, it might not be something to be concerned about, depending on a person&rsquo;s preferences and how they approach their relationships. Some people may prefer to start meaningful lasting relationships instead of dating. Their goal may be marriage and not something casual.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overall, if you and your partner are able to communicate with each other and both of you are having your needs met, even if your partner practices serial monogamy, it may not be something to worry about.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, if you are concerned about how they behave, or that you are putting more into your bond than they are, it may be necessary to work with a therapist for additional help.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anytime you feel like you aren&rsquo;t being heard, you can always reach out for advice or talk to a loved one for an additional perspective on the matter.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever wondered if you are dating a serial monogamist? This article can explain what that means and how to know if you are.&nbsp; Keep reading for more guidance on this topic and advice on how to know if this is an issue in your relationship. What is a serial monogamist? If you are wondering about the serial monogamist meaning, it refers to an individual that has devoted relationships and is rarely single.&nbsp; This may mean that shortly after one relationship has run its course, you will see them in another one. It doesn&rsquo;t matter how long these relationships <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":81215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2498],"tags":[2586],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81210"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81210"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115465,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81210\/revisions\/115465"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/81215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}