{"id":81056,"date":"2022-11-02T08:54:40","date_gmt":"2022-11-02T08:54:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=81056"},"modified":"2026-01-06T10:38:43","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T10:38:43","slug":"grieving-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/grieving-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81059\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-02T142005.749.jpg\" alt=\"Woman crying \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to grieving a relationship, certain things may be necessary to feel like yourself again and be able to move on properly. Here&rsquo;s a look at some ideas to consider.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-to-do-when-you%E2%80%99re-grieving-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What to do when you&rsquo;re grieving a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are wondering how to grieve a relationship, you first need to allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are experiencing. You don&rsquo;t need to ignore them since it can be helpful to work through these things so you can process the loss of the relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you can get through these emotions, this can help you determine what you want to do next. In some cases, you may want to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/time-apart-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spend some time by yourself<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and in other instances, you may wish to find a better match for you out there.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Stages-of-grieving-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>Stages of grieving a relationship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In terms of the steps to grieving a relationship, they are quite similar to the grief you may experience after the death of a loved one. While there are multiple theories regarding the stages of relationship grief, it is widely accepted that there are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.washington.edu\/counseling\/2020\/06\/08\/the-stages-of-grief-accepting-the-unacceptable\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">five stages<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of grief that a person may experience. <\/span><b>These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep in mind that not everyone will experience all of these steps, and they may not appear in your life in this order. It is thought that grief is different for everyone, depending on the individuals and their circumstances.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don&rsquo;t have to feel bad, no matter how long it takes you to get over a relationship. This is especially true if you have just gotten out of a lengthy relationship since you spent so much time with this person. It can take some time to get used to them not being around anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more details on letting go after a relationship loss, watch this video:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lEPfhpE0S-A\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-things-that-must-happen-when-you-grieve-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>10 things that must happen when you grieve a relationship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81058\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-02T142030.110.jpg\" alt=\"Man in blue shirt touching his hairn \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you are grieving the loss of a relationship, it is vital to address your own needs as you work through this process.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anytime you are grieving a relationship, you may not feel your best, and it might take a while to feel like yourself again. Here are a few things you should consider, so you can move on after your relationship runs its course.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Talk to someone<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anytime you are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/over-a-breakup\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">grieving a breakup<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you don&rsquo;t have to keep to yourself. It can be more helpful to talk to someone you can trust, who may provide advice, a kind word, or listen to you when you don&rsquo;t know who else to talk to about your relationship. If you have a solid support system, this is a time when you should think about leaning on them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Take care of yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You must take care of yourself when grieving the loss of a love relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">According to <\/span><a class=\"editor-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/christiana-njoku\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Christiana Njoku<\/span><\/a><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">, LPC<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">It is the end of a relationship, not the end of your life. You may grieve as much as you can, but ensure you take care of yourself in the process.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While you may not want to eat, shower, or even get out of bed, you must do these things since you must still address your needs and look after your health.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if you don&rsquo;t feel like doing anything, try to accomplish something daily. You may find that it gets easier after some time passes.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/the-pillars-of-self-care\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The 5 Pillars of Self-Care<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>3. Seek therapy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might also wish to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/seek-marriage-therapy-and-couple-counseling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">seek therapy<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when you are mourning a relationship. Working with a therapist may help you understand if you are experiencing grief or if you have become depressed while grieving a relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, a person goes through the grieving process and can move forward with their lives, but in other cases, they may experience a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/books\/NBK66052\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mental health concern<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some cases, therapy can help you address this concern and treat it. Moreover, you can talk to a professional about what you have gone through, discuss the relationship that has just ended, and receive the best advice possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/how-to-find-the-best-therapist\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Find the Best Therapist- Expert Roundup<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. Stay busy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During the grieving process after a breakup, staying busy may also be necessary. You should try your best to set goals for yourself and meet them. If you don&rsquo;t know what to do to keep yourself busy, think about if you have ever wanted to learn a new skill or take up a hobby.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These may be ways to spend your time wisely when healing and you aren&rsquo;t sure what to do with yourself. You can also ask friends and family members for advice on activities to try.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Allow yourself to feel<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-81057\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/New-Project-2022-11-02T142054.277.jpg\" alt=\"Woman sitting on bed \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grieving a relationship involves allowing yourself to feel the emotions that are affecting you. While this may be painful, this can help you work through the grief and trauma that you may be experiencing when a relationship ends.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can take all the time you need to work through these feelings and make sure to reach out for support from friends, family members, or even a mental health professional if you feel like you need to.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Stay positive<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You must also do your best to stay positive when you are grieving a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Christiana Njoku, LPC, highlights that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>During the period of griefing your relationship, always remain positive and be hopeful.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> It may seem like you should be hard on yourself, but this is unlikely to help you work through this type of grief.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, understand that you will be okay and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/starting-a-new-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">find a new relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to enjoy if this is what you want. You can also take this time to enjoy being single and doing everything you like to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Process your feelings<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Processing your feelings is a little different than simply being able to feel them. For instance, when you process feelings while grieving a relationship, you may be able to understand some of the thought processes that occurred in your lost relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, in hindsight, red flags may be easier to spot, or you may remember that your pairing wasn&rsquo;t always equal. Research shows that if you can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/319412724_Down-Regulation_of_Love_Feelings_After_a_Romantic_Break-Up_Self-Report_and_Electrophysiological_Data\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lessen your feelings<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of love for your ex, this may help you move forward in your life and process the stages of loss in a relationship more effectively.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Stick to a routine<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another way to spend your time when you are grieving is to stick to a routine. This means that you should concentrate on getting the things that you need to get done and focus on them. Perhaps you need to go to work, cook dinner, and want to read a few chapters of a book before bed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do your best to get all of these things accomplished, and it can keep your time occupied. When you have plenty to do, it will probably be more difficult for you to become depressed or be hard on yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Stay social<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Again, it would be best if you stayed social. Go around friends and family when you feel like it. They may be able to make you laugh and help you feel better about yourself.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You won&rsquo;t be spending your days worrying, feeling bad, or experiencing sadness at home by yourself. There&rsquo;s a chance you may even have fun.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Limit social media<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, even when you stay social, you may need to limit your time on social media. This is especially important if you have many mutual friends with your ex and don&rsquo;t want to see posts from any of these people.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking a break from social media sites can also help your mood. You can always go back to it when you feel better about your life and feel stronger about how you have worked through your grief.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-and-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Harsh Truth About Social Media and Relationships&rsquo; Codependency<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-takeaway\"><\/span><b>The takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The process of grieving a relationship will probably be different for everyone. This means there is no set time limit for when your grief will go away and that every person is likely to feel different during the process.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, it doesn&rsquo;t matter what you feel since there are a few things you can do to work through this type of grief.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You should try your best to stay busy and distracted, which means spending your time doing things that need to get done or that you enjoy doing, hanging out with friends, and working with a therapist if you need to.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Overall, do your best to keep your spirits high during this trying process, and you may notice that you feel a bit better after a while.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Starting a new routine with yourself and trying new things can help you look forward to the future and a new relationship. Take all the time you need and be nice to yourself during this process.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone will have a different timeline, so remember when you think you will never feel better. It can get easier, and you can be happy and in a relationship again.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to grieving a relationship, certain things may be necessary to feel like yourself again and be able to move on properly. Here&rsquo;s a look at some ideas to consider. What to do when you&rsquo;re grieving a relationship? When you are wondering how to grieve a relationship, you first need to allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are experiencing. You don&rsquo;t need to ignore them since it can be helpful to work through these things so you can process the loss of the relationship.&nbsp; Once you can get through these emotions, this can help you determine <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1419,"featured_media":81059,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[93],"tags":[2718],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81056"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81056"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81056\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116186,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81056\/revisions\/116186"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/81059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}