

{"id":80963,"date":"2022-10-31T08:12:04","date_gmt":"2022-10-31T08:12:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=80963"},"modified":"2024-03-28T09:39:07","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T09:39:07","slug":"she-needs-time-how-long-should-i-wait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/she-needs-time-how-long-should-i-wait\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Things to Consider When She Says \u201cShe Needs Time\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-80967\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-31T133009.442.jpg\" alt=\"Angry husband and wife spouses sit \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Soon enough, the average guy who has been in this situation may find himself asking one question.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>&ldquo;She says she needs time. How long should I wait?&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The truth is, this is a confusing position to be in. You love a lady and would like to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/signs-you-should-take-relationship-to-next-level\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">take things to the next level<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but she says she needs time to think about the relationship and define her next move.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then, you find yourself in a fix. One week becomes a month. Before you can tell what&rsquo;s happening, so much time has passed and you don&rsquo;t even know what to do.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/reasons-you-should-never-give-up-on-love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">give up on her<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, let&rsquo;s show you what you must know.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-does-it-mean-when-your-partner-says-they-need-time\"><\/span><b>What does it mean when your partner says they need time?&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-80966\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-31T133032.642.jpg\" alt=\"Man and woman arguing with each other \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Statistics have shown the staggering rates of breakups that happen every day. According to a recent study, 1 in every 14 American adults says they <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/learnenglishteens.britishcouncil.org\/study-break\/magazine-zone\/valentines-day\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">broke up<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with someone on Valentine&rsquo;s day. As much as this may not be the best news, relationship splits happen, and not all of them look like the end of the relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People often tend to go their separate ways from this point when they say <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/time-apart-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">they need space<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, this isn&rsquo;t always the case.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The best interpretation when your girlfriend says she needs space is to give her space. When your partner says they need time, focus on giving them what they have asked for.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Space and Time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&rsquo;t read a lot of meaning into it. Yet.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"She-says-she-needs-time-How-long-should-I-wait\"><\/span><b>She says she needs time. How long should I wait?&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-80965\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-31T133058.602.jpg\" alt=\"Couple not talking to each other\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, this is where the conversation becomes a bit more technical. This is because no Holy Grail contains the golden commandments of giving your partner space and time in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a woman says she needs space in a relationship (or a man, for that matter), it is up to both partners to decide how much space and time they need before they get back together or go their separate ways for good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The amount of time you give will depend on factors like how close you are, the reason for demanding space, and how long you are willing to wait. In any case, we will take a closer look at the factors you must consider when she says she needs time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/mert-eker\">Psychologist Mert &#350;eker<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When your girlfriend says she needs your time, you should first focus on understanding and respecting her feelings. By keeping communication channels open, you must empathize with her to understand what she is feeling. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, in this case, it is important to determine your limits without going overboard. Focus on strengthening your relationship while giving it the time it needs, and use this process positively to increase trust in each other.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10-things-to-consider-when-she-says-she-needs-time\"><\/span><b>10 things to consider when she says she needs time&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has she dropped those dreaded words on you? Here are 10 factors to consider when a girl says she needs time to figure things out.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Is she feeling insecure?&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insecurity<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is one of the biggest threats to relationships. When your partner feels like their position in your life is threatened, they may withdraw from you as they try to sort their mind out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&rsquo;ll benefit from deep and effective communication if this is the case. Over time, it has been proven that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/10.1177\/0265407598156003\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">effective communication strengthens relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Who knows? Maybe she needed reassurance that she occupies a special place in your heart.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. Is she afraid of commitment?&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people may shy away from you, not because they are bad but because they are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/scared-of-a-committed-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">afraid of committing<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to a relationship. This can result from bad relationships they may have gone through or mindset challenges.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may have to be willing to play the long-term game for someone like this. This is because you first have to show them that you won&rsquo;t hurt their feelings and that you are reliable.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are some signs you&rsquo;re scared of commitment? Watch this video to know more.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/e_L3PyIzYcw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. The situations surrounding that request&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your partner often wouldn&rsquo;t just roll out of bed on a bright and sunny day and demand some space and time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These requests are usually the result of suppressed feelings or a rough relationship patch. Before you decide how long you should wait when she says she needs time, please consider the situations surrounding that request.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you been going through a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/ways-to-get-through-a-rough-patch-in-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">rough patch<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> lately? Was it a spur-of-the-moment request (at least for you)?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you have these in mind, you may decide how long to wait before you reach out again.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/mert-eker\">Psychologist Mert &#350;eker<\/a>, <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your girlfriend expressing that she needs her time may indicate an awareness of emotional or individual needs in a relationship. This demand may arise from one&rsquo;s own need to maintain emotional balance, focus on one&rsquo;s goals, or deal with a specific issue. It may also reflect a desire to reflect on issues that arose at a particular stage of the relationship or to grow as an individual.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>4. Does she want to focus on something else?&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, she might say she needs time simply because she wants to focus on another thing at the moment. It is okay for your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/ways-to-support-your-spouses-career\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">partner to have goals<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and want to give it their all.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe, they want to get promoted at work or smash a major career milestone. Who knows? She might also want to spend some more time with the other people who matter to her (like her family).&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If this is the case, you may want to step back and give her all the time she needs.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Maybe, she is not yet ready to talk to you&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is also another reason why your girlfriend needs time to think. Although communication is the bedrock of every healthy relationship, there are times when your partner may need time for themselves. They might want to figure things out and do so without talking to you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The easiest way to discover if this is the case is to ask her why she <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-much-space-in-a-relationship-is-normal\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">needs space<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If she cannot confide in you, it may signify that she is not yet ready to talk about whatever is bothering her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At this time, your best course of action would be to step aside and let her process her feelings. At the same time, you may want to let her know that you&rsquo;ll be available when she&rsquo;s ready and willing to open up.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Is there another potential partner?&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-80964\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-31T133132.545.jpg\" alt=\"Man and woman talking to each other\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is another reason why she may be looking for some space. Sometimes, she may want to step back from all of you when she feels overwhelmed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She believes that by doing that, she&rsquo;ll be able to see the full picture and make an informed decision &ndash; because any of you does not muddy her emotions.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You remember what they say about &ldquo;not being able to see the picture when you&rsquo;re in the frame,&rdquo; right?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/infidelity\/6-signs-that-your-partner-may-be-cheating-on-you\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6 Signs That Your Partner May Be Cheating On You<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>7. Are you smothering her with attention?&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you love someone, you&rsquo;ll want to do everything to make them good. You&rsquo;ll go out of your way to show up for them, be there for them, and encourage and help them become better versions of themselves.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/mert-eker\">Psychologist Mert &#350;eker<\/a> points out,&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you show excessive interest in your girlfriend and constantly put pressure on her, this may have a negative impact on your relationship and cause your partner to want to move away. People often want to protect their personal space, and being under constant attention can make this difficult. Therefore, it is important to maintain balance in the relationship and respect mutual freedom.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, you must remember that physical contact and quality time are not everyone&rsquo;s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.uagc.edu\/blog\/the-psychology-behind-the-5-love-languages\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">primary love language<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">s &reg;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To those people, your attention can easily be interpreted as annoying if you&rsquo;re not careful.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This may also be one of the reasons why she is asking for some space. Maybe she feels overwhelmed by your constant presence in her world. Everywhere she looks, she says you there.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At work. At home. When she drives into the street after a long day. When she settles down with a cup of tea at night&hellip;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You manifest. Sometimes, out of thin air.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, when a woman says she needs time to herself, what she means is that she wants to see less of you. Maybe, your constant presence has bothered her, and she would like you to take a few steps back.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Please don&rsquo;t take this personally. Just ensure that you&rsquo;re not guilty. Then give her the space she desires and let her lead the interactions from there.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-giving-too-much-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Stop Giving Too Much in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>8. Maybe, she wants to work on herself first&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some people believe there&rsquo;s a lot of work they must do before becoming the ideal partner for the person they&rsquo;re with. Loving people like these may be difficult because they blow hot and cold.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One day, they&rsquo;re warm and accepting of you. The next hour, they shut you out.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, while figuring out how long you should wait when she says she needs time, you must discover if this is the reason why she needs more time.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that&rsquo;s the case, then it is all for good. It might be a sign that she&rsquo;s also committed to you and wouldn&rsquo;t want to get into a relationship until she has grown herself to a specific level.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can now encourage her and give her the space she needs to evolve.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. She might not be ready for sex&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe, you gave her some bits of your raunchy history, hoping for some action. Then, she suddenly shuts down on you for no strong reason. The challenge might be that she isn&rsquo;t yet ready for sex.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Under these conditions, please start by giving her the space she&rsquo;s asking for. When she opens up to you again, you can find out what she wants and her sexual preferences. You can always decide how to compromise from there on.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Maybe, she wants you to push a bit harder&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, the reason why she is asking for more time might be that she wants you to prove that you love her. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2020\/06\/200608192510.htm\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">has shown that people who are too easy to get may be considered desperate. If this is her reason, she wouldn&rsquo;t want you to think of her as desperate for your time, attention, and commitment.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If her reason for playing hard to get is that she doesn&rsquo;t want to demean her self-worth before you, your solution might lie in giving in the chase.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Court her. Keep the communication lines open. She&rsquo;ll leave clues to tell you that she is open to a relationship. It is up to you to make the chase worth it.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-takeaway\"><\/span><b>The takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;If she says she needs time, how long should I wait?&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have been asking that question, the simple answer is that it is up to you to decide how long you are willing to wait. However, please try to get to the root of her request for you to give her time. You may be more likely to grant her wish when you know why she&rsquo;s asking for time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then again, please don&rsquo;t lose sight of your needs as well.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Soon enough, the average guy who has been in this situation may find himself asking one question.&nbsp; &ldquo;She says she needs time. How long should I wait?&rdquo;&nbsp; The truth is, this is a confusing position to be in. You love a lady and would like to take things to the next level, but she says she needs time to think about the relationship and define her next move.&nbsp; Then, you find yourself in a fix. One week becomes a month. Before you can tell what&rsquo;s happening, so much time has passed and you don&rsquo;t even know what to do.&nbsp; Before <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1363,"featured_media":80967,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2498],"tags":[2584],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80963"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1363"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80963"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80963\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97502,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80963\/revisions\/97502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80967"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}