![\"Happy](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-27T141628.890.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Love them or hate them, emotions make us human. You can’t wish them away, but you can manage them. <\/span>In a <\/b>mature relationship<\/b><\/a>, you have the added advantage that your partner can be attentive and emotionally supportive.<\/b> How do you get there? How to ask for support from your partner?<\/span><\/p>\n Relationships can be a beautiful balance between individuals honoring their individuality and their needs as a couple. This balance can quickly be offset by focusing too much on individuality, so both partners start feeling alone. Conversely, the couple can overpower the needs of each person. <\/span><\/p>\n The key to all this is constant communication along with small moments of attachment and intimacy <\/b>is where <\/span>emotional support<\/span><\/a> in a relationship comes into play. Now, the question is how to ask for support from your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n First, let’s look at the question: “what is emotional support in a relationship?”<\/span><\/p>\n Emotional support sometimes gets confused with other types of social support. Simply put, <\/span>emotional support is validating someone’s feelings and emotions. It’s about listening and showing compassion. <\/b><\/p>\n It isn’t about fixing or problem-solving. Sometimes, how to ask for support from your partner means specifying you don’t want a fix. <\/span><\/p>\n There are, in fact<\/span>, 4 different types of social support<\/span><\/a>. It’s important to note the difference that the University of Penn states between instrumental and informational support. Essentially, <\/span>many fall into the trap of providing solutions and advice when someone simply wants emotional support.<\/b><\/p>\n Another aspect of emotional support is the physical side. <\/span>All our nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, hugs, and <\/b>physical touch<\/b><\/a>, are critical<\/b>. From a neuroscience point of view, that’s how we get a boost of oxytocin hormones. <\/span><\/p>\n As this article on<\/span> hugs and good health<\/span><\/a> shows, oxytocin can help regulate emotions and generates trust and feelings of being safe. Overall, we feel heard and valued. Moreover, we feel more prepared to face whatever triggered the emotions in the first place. <\/span><\/p>\n Emotional support in a relationship helps us deal with the stressors of life. It reminds us that we’re not alone and have people around us to be there for us in life. <\/b><\/p>\n As this psychological review on<\/span> managing stress<\/span><\/a> states, having a strong supportive network can stave off health problems, including heart disease. <\/span><\/p>\n Regardless, many of us struggle to ask for help when needed. <\/span>Most Western societies tend to reward independence and individuality. While both are important, we shouldn’t forget the need for belonging. <\/b><\/p>\n We also should spend time understanding our needs.<\/span> With many of us suffering from low self-esteem, it’s hard to ask for help because we feel selfish or inadequate. <\/b>So, how to ask for support from your partner <\/span>means <\/b>building up your self-confidence<\/b><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes you also need to know how to support your partner. These things work both ways, and people respond to how we act. So, if you never provide emotional support, the chances are that you won’t get any yourself. <\/span><\/p>\n In those cases, <\/span>how to ask for support from your partner can sometimes mean offering emotional support up first.<\/b> Ask them how their day was and what they’re feeling. <\/span>Truly listen<\/span><\/a> to the answers and simply be present. <\/span><\/p>\n Being heard in a relationship deepens the bond and increases intimacy. Listen to understand and not to solve the problem, and you’ll see the difference. <\/b><\/p>\n It isn’t always easy to ask for support, especially if your partner is emotionally unavailable. In those cases, how to ask for support from your partner means being open about your feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n First, if you want support from your spouse, you have to <\/b>connect with your feelings<\/b><\/a>. They can’t mind-read you. A great tool to help you start connecting is the<\/span> wheel of emotions<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n According to Licensed Professional Counselor Christiana Njoku<\/a>, <\/span><\/p>\n Expressing your feelings the right way will help your partner understand the kind of support you need.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Most of us are never taught to experience our emotions completely, so we struggle to define them. <\/span>Practice naming your emotions with the wheel of emotions to articulate them to your partner better.<\/b> Please start with the good emotions because it’s always easier working with those initially. <\/span><\/p>\n Secondly, if you want support in a relationship, you need to be assertive<\/b>. Another very helpful tool is the<\/span> non-violent communication framework<\/span><\/a>. You can also think of it as an I-statement tool. <\/span>The idea is that you talk about how you feel and what you need without blaming. <\/b><\/p>\n<\/span>Understanding emotional support in relationships <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Why does emotional support make a difference?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>Getting the support you need <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"Mother](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/New-Project-2022-10-27T141701.570.jpg\")
<\/p>\n