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Are you feeling helpless as you watch your partner waste away because they won’t eat? The underlying causes behind any eating disorder are a range of complex and potentially life-threatening mental health issues. Nevertheless, <\/span>people can and do recover with eating disorder help.<\/b><\/p>\n Eating disorders come in various forms as described by this<\/span> eating disorder center’s overview of criteria<\/span><\/a>. These range from restricting food intake to overeating food. <\/span>The main point to note when reviewing eating disorder help is that it usually has very little to do with food.<\/b><\/p>\n “What’s an eating disorder” isn’t an easy question to answer. First, food usage is only a symptom. Secondly, <\/span>the cause behind why someone has been driven to use food to manage their lives is complex.<\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n Dating someone with an eating disorder isn’t easy. You might even feel that you’re speaking to a different person because the eating disorder has taken over. Communication becomes strained and distant. <\/span>Moreover, the shame and guilt that sets in often destroy your <\/b>sexual life<\/b><\/a> and any intimacy.<\/b><\/p>\n Essentially, <\/span>when struggling with an eating disorder, people turn to food to de-stress or to give themselves a sense of control.<\/b> Most of the time they’ll also deny they need any sort of eating disorder help. <\/span><\/p>\n As a therapist describes in her Q&A article on<\/span> childhood attachment patterns and food<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>an eating disorder and relationships with food are more about filling a void. This hole is often created in childhood due to poor attachment but it amplifies during adult crises. <\/b><\/p>\n Nevertheless, the hole of despair and helplessness can be healed with eating disorder help. <\/span><\/p>\n Professional help<\/span><\/a> involves exploring what happened in childhood and what hole exactly the person is trying to fill or numb with food. <\/span>They’ll also explore other potential causes such as societal, cultural and personality traits. These could be, for example, high achiever mode, obsessive-compulsive, anxiety and many more. <\/b><\/p>\n Deep down, eating disorder victims experience such deep shame and confusion that they often hide their eating habits. This has a major impact on those around them who care for them. <\/span>You need to only look at the secrecy to understand how eating disorders affect relationships. Secrets drive people apart. <\/b><\/p>\n Many well-meaning partners and friends try to reassure their loved one by telling them that they need to eat and that their body looks fine. Whilst this can help in some cases, this usually drives people further away. <\/span>Being persuaded to eat only creates mistrust and resentment. <\/b><\/p>\n How to get over an eating disorder takes more than just learning to appreciate our bodies. In fact, when it comes to eating disorder help, a professional looks at each person individually. <\/span>The aim is to understand their specific life story and how this has driven them to feel lost and unable to manage life. <\/b><\/p>\n Romantic partners aren’t trained to take on such responsibility but <\/span>you can support your loved one<\/span><\/a>. In fact, <\/span>this<\/b> study<\/b><\/a> shows that interpersonal experience with family and partners has a hugely positive impact on eating disorder recovery. <\/b><\/p>\n Nevertheless, inform yourself and get your own support to avoid getting caught up in emotions. It’s easy to fall into criticism and over-protectiveness when we’re anxious, as careers often are. <\/span>So, reach out to your local eating disorder center to find the right people to talk to and to help you.<\/b><\/p>\n If you’re thinking to yourself “an eating disorder is ruining my relationship”, you might wonder what else you can do. As part of reaching out for eating disorder help, <\/span>make sure you educate yourself as much as you can. <\/b><\/p>\n How to deal with an eating disorder<\/span><\/a> means overcoming your own frustrations. <\/span>Sometimes it helps to remember that eating disorders are often triggered by trauma and life stressors. <\/b><\/p>\n So, <\/span>rather than focusing on fixing the problem, focus on holding a loving and nurturing space.<\/b> This complements whatever eating disorder help they’re getting. <\/span><\/p>\n How to cope with eating disorders is a journey for both of you. Go through the following 5 points to give you some ideas of eating disorder recovery activities that could help you and your couple. <\/span><\/p>\n One of your biggest challenges as the supporting partner is to try to avoid asking yourself “how to fix an eating disorder”. Our natural inclination is to resort to problem-solving but this often adds fuel to the eating disorder. <\/span><\/p>\n Try to imagine that problem-solving sounds like telling someone what to do. This further stresses the eating disorder victim because they get triggered and feel controlled<\/b>. So far, their coping strategy is to control food so you’re pushing them into their unhealthy behaviors by stressing them. <\/span><\/p>\n As this<\/span> study on disordered eating behaviors<\/span><\/a> shows, beliefs of ineffectiveness and fear of losing control are two critical dimensions of eating disorders. So, instead of problem-solving, <\/span>ensure that you accept your partner and their struggles without appearing to judge or criticize.<\/b><\/p>\n Struggling with an eating disorder is like living with an inner demon. <\/b>As psychotherapist Richard Schwarz describes in his<\/span> Internal Family Systems therapy<\/span><\/a>, your eating disorder is a misguided but well-meaning part of you. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>The struggle between eating disorders and romantic relationships <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
Using food to manage crises <\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
Romantic partners – you are not alone <\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>
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<\/p>\n<\/span>5 approaches to support your partner through an eating disorder <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Don’t problem solve <\/b><\/h3>\n
2. Create a nurturing space<\/b> <\/span><\/h3>\n