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Being cheated on is devastating. It’s a betrayal of trust and the commitment you’ve made to each other. An affair doesn’t just generate intense feelings. It’s a signal of something deeper that’s broken. <\/span><\/p>\n Fixing or protecting parts of your marriage before they break is how to affair-proof your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n The American Psychological Association defines <\/span>infidelity<\/span><\/a> as when someone becomes sexually or emotionally involved despite already being in a committed relationship. Affairs are also referred to as cheating, although there are different types of affairs. <\/span><\/p>\n How to affair-proof your marriage starts with understanding the<\/span> different types of affairs<\/span><\/a>, as defined by the Infidelity Recovery Institute. From there, you can explore what causes each type and stay ahead of them. <\/span><\/p>\n So, for instance, the typical philanderer is often addicted to control based on deep-rooted insecurities. On the other hand, a <\/span>narcissist feels<\/span><\/a> entitled to whatever they want regardless of consequences or other people’s feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n Whether you’re having an emotional or sexual affair, being married and <\/span>having an affair<\/span><\/a> is a tricky balance of emotions. One part of you feels fulfilled but the other part feels hollow. Even those who keep secrets feel drained after a certain amount of time. <\/span><\/p>\n In the end, no one wins from having an affair. An emotional one where you share more with someone outside your relationship feels just as devastating. Essentially, <\/span>your partner feels betrayed<\/span><\/a> by the secrecy and that you couldn’t confide in them. <\/span><\/p>\n There is hope, though. How to affair-proof your marriage isn’t as hard as it sounds. <\/span><\/p>\n It’s easy to fall into the blame game and call cheaters the devil’s spawn. Sadly, many of us have been their victims, yet the reasons for having an affair while married are complex. <\/span><\/p>\n As this article summarizing a study on <\/span>why<\/span><\/a> people cheat states, an affair is rarely about sex, even if it starts that way. It explains that the study identified eight <\/span>key reasons for marrying<\/span><\/a> and having an affair. <\/span><\/p>\n How to affair-proof your Marriage means<\/a> digging into these reasons to mitigate them. For example, having low self-esteem can also be linked to feelings of neglect and even anger. Managing such issues will be very different from dealing with a lack of love or commitment. <\/span><\/p>\n Of course, sometimes you have to affair-proof your marriage against situational temptation. In those cases, the tempted make a choice. <\/span><\/p>\n Either their emotions overrule them and they act on impulse. Alternatively, they hold onto their values and the big picture in life. <\/span><\/p>\n Facing temptation requires a certain amount of <\/span>emotional intelligence<\/span><\/a>. This <\/span>study<\/span><\/a> confirms that emotional intelligence contributes to supportive communication and proactive conflict management. <\/span><\/p>\n All this means is that how to affair proof your marriage involves knowing yourself and your partner. Those with little to no impulse control might find themselves straying. <\/span><\/p>\n On the flip side, those who struggle to balance the need for closeness with the need for space can push themselves or their partner into cheating. <\/span>Managing that conflict<\/span><\/a> and finding ways to benefit both partners relies on strong emotional intelligence. <\/span><\/p>\n A relationship affair is detrimental to both people. The one cheated on can suffer from long-term mental illness and even post-infidelity stress <\/span>disorder<\/span><\/a>, as a mental health counselor describes. Even without full-on PTSD, both parties suffer from helplessness, withdrawal and confusion. <\/span><\/p>\n Nevertheless, you can <\/span>recover from a marital affair<\/span><\/a>. It takes personal work and a commitment from both people to agree that they will work together. The first step is to be open and listen to each other’s underlying issues. <\/span><\/p>\n As mentioned, how to affair proof your Marriage means knowing the potential causes. It’s the same when recovering after someone has cheated. For instance, did they need more intimacy or, on the contrary, more freedom? <\/span><\/p>\n What other personal issues are driving one person to cheat? The hardest part is to remember that, in many cases, it takes two people for one person to cheat. When there’s such an imbalance, couples usually <\/span>go to therapy<\/span><\/a> to do both their personal and couple’s work. <\/span><\/p>\n There are many cases when someone isn’t committed to the relationship. That’s when how to affair proof your marriage comes into play. A good approach is not just to let the relationship run its course and see what happens. <\/span><\/p>\n Instead, talk about your goals and expectations from the start. When recovering after cheating, it’s the same. Once you’ve worked through the pain and betrayal, you’re almost back to square one. What do you both want out of this relationship and what does it mean?<\/span><\/p>\n How to affair-proof your marriage is about building the foundations for a <\/span>successful marriage<\/span><\/a>. It never ends because we all evolve and change throughout life and its different phases. <\/span><\/p>\n You’ll need to keep coming back to this list as you work together to understand each other’s needs and desires. <\/span><\/p>\n The first step to affair-proof your marriage is to review your needs. We all have various levels of needs, even if they overlap. So, you both need intimacy but usually, people have different expectations. Talk about what this means for you both. <\/span><\/p>\n Affairs in marriage often happen because life takes over. Each partner is busy with work, the kids or aging parents, among other things. <\/span><\/p>\n Successful couples make a point of booking talking time each week. This means talking about their fears, worries, hopes and dreams. The more you disclose, the more intimacy and trust you create.<\/span><\/p>\n Talking is one part of it. The other part is to enjoy each other’s company. Setting aside special nights off together is a good approach for how to affair proof your marriage. Remember to have fun as a couple. <\/span><\/p>\n An affair-proof marriage depends on both people being grounded with <\/span>solid self-esteem<\/span><\/a>. Without self-esteem, jealousy and conflict quickly become part of the marriage, leading to infidelity. This hurts us both at work and home and often needs the help of a therapist to work through. <\/span><\/p>\n How to affair-proof your marriage revolves around emotional intelligence. The more you can regulate your impulses, the less likely you’ll stray or even push someone to stray. <\/span><\/p>\n Listen to Dr. Nicole LePera’s video on self-regulation and why it’s so hard. She includes five steps you can easily start today to improve your emotional regulation. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>What is an affair?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>How do affairs in marriage happen<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>How to make a marriage work after cheating <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n<\/span>15 tips to strengthen your marriage against temptation <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Understand each other’s needs <\/b><\/h3>\n
2. Plan talking time together <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 11 Ways to Spend Some Quality Time With Your Partner<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
3. Honor your date nights <\/b><\/h3>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>The Importance of Date Night in a Marriage and Tips to Make It Happen<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
4. Understand your self-esteem levels <\/b><\/h3>\n
5. Practice emotional regulation <\/b><\/h3>\n