{"id":79727,"date":"2022-08-05T09:11:58","date_gmt":"2022-08-05T09:11:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=79727"},"modified":"2022-08-05T09:12:35","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T09:12:35","slug":"how-to-forget-about-your-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-forget-about-your-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Forget About Your Ex? 15 Effective Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Sad<\/p>\n

Whether you <\/span>ended your relationship<\/span><\/a> or your partner ended things, it’s over. It’s likely been over for a while. So why do you still keep thinking about your ex? Maybe they keep showing up in your dreams? Or perhaps your current partner makes you wish you were with your ex even though you were unhappy in your<\/span> past relationship<\/span><\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are trying to learn how to forget about your ex, this article is for you. <\/span><\/p>\n

As a clinical therapist, I often get the “it’s over” text update from clients. I am a compassionate listener during the grieving sessions that follow. Sometimes the breakup was the client’s choice, and at other times, it was not. <\/span><\/p>\n

When a relationship ends, things change. There is no longer an “us,” there is only “me.” We are no longer “in a relationship,” as we are single. This new identity is not always welcomed, but even when it is, why are there certain exes we just can’t shake?<\/span><\/p>\n

15 tips on how to get over your ex<\/b><\/h2>\n

Learning how to forget about your ex can be confusing as you may find yourself trying to hold onto the past while being aware that it may be important to move into the future. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some tips that have helped others and are perhaps worth a try if you are trying to understand how to forget your ex.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Write them a letter<\/b><\/h3>\n

Getting all the redundant thoughts out on paper can be cleansing when trying to figure out ways to forget your ex.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we have thoughts that don’t leave us, the act of putting them on a piece of paper can help us deal with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Elder<\/p>\n

Write and tell them all the reasons you miss them. And then all the reasons you don’t. Tell them everything you wish you could still say. And then tear it up and never send it. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>How to Write a Breakup Letter to Someone You Love <\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
2. Let the past be in the past<\/b><\/h3>\n
Learning how to forget the past relationship includes recognizing that you can’t keep inviting your ex into your present when you agreed to leave them in the past. <\/span><\/p>\n
You possibly imagine them stepping right back into your life as if they never left. You may unrealistically believe that they will not just appreciate who you are today but also change themselves to become someone worth appreciating.<\/span><\/p>\n
These thoughts are likely baseless fantasies that will lead you towards disappointment. <\/span><\/p>\n
3. Clarify your memory trips<\/b><\/h3>\n
The trips you take down memory lane must be accurate about all <\/span>aspects of your relationship<\/span><\/a>. Don’t overlook the reasons why you broke up in the first place. <\/span><\/p>\n
Make sure to remember instances like when they yelled at you for making a small mistake or getting too drunk to stay out with you at night.<\/span><\/p>\n
4. Make the list<\/b><\/h3>\n
Prepare an honest list of qualities your ex had that do not mesh with your values and path. The list can serve as a reminder to you about why you deserve better.<\/span><\/p>\n
\"Young<\/p>\n
5. Be grateful for the experience<\/b><\/h3>\n
Every relationship is full of lessons because you can learn things about yourself as part of a duo. This information can help you figure out things that worked and the ones that didn’t to use as a guide for your next relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> Not Feeling Grateful? Here’s Some Useful Relationship Advice<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
6. Consider what aspect feels unsettled<\/b><\/h3>\n
Analyze the feelings that take you back to the thoughts of your ex. <\/span><\/p>\n
Do the problems in your past relationship remind you of an unresolved relationship with your family? <\/span><\/p>\n
Did the relationship stir up something in you that you feel shame or regret about? <\/span><\/p>\n
Talk to a therapist<\/span><\/a> about what is really underneath the memories of the past relationship. You may find that it is often more about you than them and the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
7. No comeback<\/b><\/h3>\n
Unfollow. Untag. Disengage.  <\/span><\/p>\n
Try to cut off all forms of contact with your ex. If you repeatedly reinsert your ex back into your life, <\/span>moving on from an ex<\/span><\/a> can be nearly impossible. <\/span><\/p>\n
8. Find yourself again<\/b><\/h3>\n
You are different, so acknowledge that. You are not better or worse post-breakup, maybe, just simply different.<\/span><\/p>\n
Embrace yourself. Don’t think in future extremes and try to think in an all-about-you-right-now way. <\/span><\/p>\n
Embrace your morning. <\/span><\/p>\n
Embrace your evening rituals. <\/span><\/p>\n
Make time for your friends and people who make you laugh. <\/span><\/p>\n
Remember what you used to enjoy and do it again. This helps reaffirm who you are, not who you were when your ex was in your life.  <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
9. Routine<\/b><\/h3>\n
You were likely used to a routine and the comfort of following a pattern daily. It would be best if you had a new routine now that does not involve your ex. <\/span><\/p>\n
Try to make a new schedule and follow it until it is not your new anymore but simply what you do.<\/span><\/p>\n
Watch this video to learn more about the psychological benefits of having a morning routine:<\/span><\/p>\n