{"id":79650,"date":"2022-08-02T10:06:57","date_gmt":"2022-08-02T10:06:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=79650"},"modified":"2024-05-01T20:32:46","modified_gmt":"2024-05-01T20:32:46","slug":"why-do-i-attract-broken-guys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/why-do-i-attract-broken-guys\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do I Attract Broken Guys? 10 Reasons Why Damaged Men Are Into You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79653\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/New-Project-2022-08-02T152819.933.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple sad posing together \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever pondered on why do I attract broken people? This may be a cause for concern in your life, but there may be reasons that this is happening to you. Keep reading this article for reasons why you are dating damaged men and what you can do to change this.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">LMHC Grady Shumway<\/a> points out,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It may be valuable to explore patterns of attracting &ldquo;broken&rdquo; individuals, which could stem from personal experiences or beliefs that unconsciously draw you towards those who need help or validation.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why-do-I-attract-broken-people-10-reasons-you-end-up-with-them\"><\/span><b>Why do I attract broken people: 10 reasons you end up with them<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are trying to determine why I attract broken guys, you may find that there are more reasons than you think. Here&rsquo;s a look at some of the most common ones.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>To learn more about healthy relationships, check out this video:<\/b><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iPSH7PDEqA8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. You know many broken people<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There may be plenty of broken people in your social circle, and you haven&rsquo;t seen many that aren&rsquo;t. This could lead you to believe that most people are broken and that everyone you meet is a potentially emotionally damaged man.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider who you are around most of the time and think about if you would like to meet new people or expand your horizons.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This could cause you to wonder why I attract broken people when you really might want to spend your time considering where to find people that aren&rsquo;t broken to hang out with. You can talk to trusted friends and family members for advice on this.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/emotionally-broken-man\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">15 Signs of an Emotionally Broken Man<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. You don&rsquo;t want to be without a relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another reason that may answer the question of why do I attract broken people is that you may crave having a relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are someone that doesn&rsquo;t like being without a boyfriend, this may mean that you are getting into relationships just because you are <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/fear-of-being-alone-in-love-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fearful of being alone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Relationships can be an <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mdpi.com\/1660-4601\/16\/13\/2415\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">important<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> part of your life, but this doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to be in one all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. You think it&rsquo;s all you deserve<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may think all you deserve are men that are broken when you are contemplating the reason concerning why do I attract emotionally unavailable guys.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This could be because of how you were treated growing up or of previous relationships that you have been in. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1002\/jclp.22550\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Research<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> shows that if you might have been mistreated as a child, this might continue as an adult.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. You don&rsquo;t notice they are damaged<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some instances, you may not be aware that you are dating men that are damaged. You may think they have a few tolerable issues, or you can learn to live with them. While this may be possible, it isn&rsquo;t always the case.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think about if you are getting as much as you are giving in your relationship. If you are not, you should take time to figure out why this is the case.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you worried about how your partner will act if you talk to them about their behavior or how you want them to stop doing something? If so, you may not be in a compatible duo.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/benefits-of-healthy-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you should be able to speak your mind without fear.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. You don&rsquo;t know what you are looking for<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you been thinking, why am I attracted to men with issues? The answer is that you may not know precisely what you want in a partner. It could be necessary to take some time to determine what you want out of a relationship and out of a mate.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can help you know when you have found what you are looking for. You owe it to yourself to try to achieve happiness and love if these are things you are interested in finding.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">Grady Shumway<\/a> further notes,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being unsure about what you&rsquo;re looking for is a common experience, especially when it comes to relationships. Take the time to explore your own values, interests, and goals to gain clarity about what matters most to you. Allow yourself the freedom to experiment, learn from different experiences, and reassess your preferences along the way. Remember that it&rsquo;s okay to be uncertain and that self-discovery is a journey rather than a destination.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><b>6. You haven&rsquo;t set boundaries<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you don&rsquo;t <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/marriage-fitness\/types-of-boundaries-in-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">set boundaries in your relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, this could be the reason that answers why do I attract damaged guys. It would help if you had boundaries in every partnership so that you won&rsquo;t be caught off guard.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For instance, if you don&rsquo;t want your guy to do certain things and he does them anyway, it is okay to tell him that that&rsquo;s not okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79652\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/New-Project-2022-08-02T152852.964.jpg\" alt=\"Couple making fun poses\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. You think you can change them<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There might be times when you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-date\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">date someone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and you think you will be able to change them. While this is an optimistic approach, it may significantly lead to you getting hurt if they don&rsquo;t change and end up hurting you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead of thinking, why do I attract broken people, you may want to focus on how to stop attracting them. A relationship should be about give and take and not involve you always helping your partner. They should be able to help you out as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. You have self-esteem issues<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be challenging to improve your self-esteem, especially if you are in a relationship where you aren&rsquo;t valued or getting what you need out of it.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel that you have issues with self-esteem and it is the cause of why I am attracted to broken guys, you need to take some time to determine what you want to do to change your self-esteem.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/experts\/grady-shumway\">Grady Shumway<\/a> notes,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self-esteem issues can significantly impact one&rsquo;s mental well-being and relationships. It&rsquo;s crucial to address these issues with self-compassion and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Practice self-care, challenge negative self-talk, and focus on building a positive self-image through affirmations, setting achievable goals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that self-esteem takes time to cultivate, but with patience and dedication, you can develop a healthier sense of self-worth.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can seek therapy or start dating people who will appreciate you.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/quizzes\/is-low-selfesteem-preventing-you-from-finding-love\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is Low Self-Esteem Preventing You From Finding Love?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>9. You don&rsquo;t know how to say no<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/never-been-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dating someone<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, it may be hard to say no to them, even if they aren&rsquo;t an ideal match for you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may have difficulty when it comes to hurting someone&rsquo;s feelings, or you don&rsquo;t want to turn down a potential date because you don&rsquo;t know when you will get another one. A 2022 <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0747563221003009\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">study<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> suggests that it may be more challenging to be positive when faced with too many choices than fewer choices.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. You are used to this type of relationship<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are you used to having relationships with guys that would be considered broken? If so, this may be because you are used to this relationship. You may think that you are also broken or that nothing is better for you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are likely thinking, why do I attract broke guys? And think the answer is that you are also messed up. This may not be the truth, however.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/types-of-relationships\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">25 Types of Relationships That You Might Encounter<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3-Reasons-you-should-stop-falling-for-broken-people\"><\/span><b>3 Reasons you should stop falling for broken people<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you may be aware of why do I attract broken people, it is time to understand why you should do what you can to stop this behavior. You owe it to yourself to find a mate that will be able to give you the things that you need.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. You can&rsquo;t make someone change<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are trying to change someone, this may not be possible. This is especially the case if they don&rsquo;t want to change. Perhaps you want your partner to stop drinking so much or stay out late.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they don&rsquo;t see anything wrong with these things, they will be unlikely to change how they behave. In other words, they want to do what they want and don&rsquo;t care what your feelings on the matter are. This is not something that can sustain a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79655\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/New-Project-2022-08-02T153318.453.jpg\" alt=\"Young couple in a bedroom \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>2. You shouldn&rsquo;t try to change people<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The other side of this is that you shouldn&rsquo;t try to change people. Imagine how you would feel if someone tried to change everything about you; this would likely be offensive.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might think, why do I attract broken people and then think that it is okay because you can change the things that you don&rsquo;t like about them. In reality, when you find a partner that you are compatible with, there will likely be a few things that you don&rsquo;t like about them or want to change.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. You may be setting yourself up<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Something else you should be aware of is that you may set yourself up for failure and heartbreak when you keep dating broken men. You may put time and effort into helping them, and they ultimately leave or hurt you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your time may be better spent figuring out what you want out of a relationship and taking steps to find someone willing to provide you with those things.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Takeaway\"><\/span><b>Takeaway<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While anyone may date a broken guy from time to time, if this is something that happens to you repeatedly or causes you to think, why do I attract broken people? You may want to stop and think about what needs to change.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider determining your hopes and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/expectations-in-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">expectations for relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and the future, and ensure that you are get this out of your current partnership. When you aren&rsquo;t, it may be necessary to determine why not or work with a therapist to find out more expert advice.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider these reasons related to why do I attract broken people to see if they fit your life. There may be things you don&rsquo;t know about yourself that you want to change instead of trying to change others. Think about reading more articles on why I attract broken people, so you can see if the reasons ring true.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever pondered on why do I attract broken people? This may be a cause for concern in your life, but there may be reasons that this is happening to you. Keep reading this article for reasons why you are dating damaged men and what you can do to change this. LMHC Grady Shumway points out, It may be valuable to explore patterns of attracting &ldquo;broken&rdquo; individuals, which could stem from personal experiences or beliefs that unconsciously draw you towards those who need help or validation.&nbsp; Why do I attract broken people: 10 reasons you end up with them <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":79653,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2498],"tags":[2577],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79650"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79650"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79650\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":98779,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79650\/revisions\/98779"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}