{"id":79605,"date":"2022-08-01T08:28:13","date_gmt":"2022-08-01T08:28:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=79605"},"modified":"2022-08-01T08:30:39","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T08:30:39","slug":"non-monogamous-vs-polyamorous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/non-monogamous-vs-polyamorous\/","title":{"rendered":"Differences: Ethical Non-Monogamy, Polyamory, Open Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Beautiful<\/p>\n

What’s your view on relationships? Are you perhaps curious about the way society’s views seem to be changing? We all know relationships take work but perhaps we can help ourselves in how we structure them? <\/span><\/p>\n

Moreover, maybe we can learn something by understanding more about non-monogamous vs. polyamorous relationships?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/span>Define ethical non-monogamy relationship, polyamory relationship, open relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

There are few differences between ethical non-monogamy vs. <\/span>polyamory relationships<\/span><\/a>. <\/span>Simply put, ethical non-monogamy is the overall term that encompasses polyamory. <\/b>The polyamorous definition is perhaps more specific in the sense that there are more concrete rules than in non-monogamy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Every polyamorous relationship will have slightly different rules. <\/b>Overall though, they all have sexual and <\/span>emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a>. This is the main difference between the non-monogamous meaning. Basically, non-monogamous people have sex with others outside the central relationship rather than emotional intimacy. <\/span><\/p>\n

On the flip side, the open relationship definition is more fluid.<\/b> People can date and find new partners while staying committed to their main partner. On the other hand, <\/span>a non-monogamous couple might have sexual encounters with others but they won’t go on dates. <\/b><\/p>\n

To further expand the definitions, there are also other types of non-monogamy. It all comes down to how people want to define their non-monogamous vs. polyamorous rules. So, for example, you might have poly-monogamous people. <\/span><\/p>\n

In that case, one partner is monogamous and the other one is polyamorous. As you can imagine, this takes exceptional communication and negotiation skills. Boundaries also have to be very clear. <\/span><\/p>\n

Every relationship combination is in fact possible. Depending on preferences, people don’t have to limit themselves to the non-monogamous vs. polyamorous choice. Nevertheless, the vital foundation to make these work is for all those involved to be secure in how they see themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

As shown in this <\/b>study <\/b><\/a>on whether open relationships work, it isn’t so much about the structure of the relationship. It’s more about mutual consent and communication. <\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> 9 Different Types of Polyamorous Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>Are polyamorous relationships ethical?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
\"Close<\/p>\n
In the timeless book,<\/span> The Road Less Traveled<\/span><\/a>, the psychiatrist M Scott Peck states in a footnote that all his years of couples-work led him to the “stark conclusion that open marriage is the only kind of mature marriage that is healthy”. <\/span><\/p>\n
Dr. Peck goes on to imply that a monogamous marriage often leads to destroyed mental health and lack of growth. <\/b>Does that mean that a polyamorous relationship is automatically ethical? <\/span><\/p>\n
On the contrary, it means that due to their nature, these <\/span>types of relationships<\/span><\/a> contribute to growth. This involves effort from all parties.<\/span><\/p>\n
The polyamorous definition tells us that those involved are all equal partners. There isn’t one central couple, and everyone can be just as intimate with each other<\/b>. The critical piece to making this work is that everyone is open and honest with each other. <\/span><\/p>\n
A polyamorous vs. open relationship might involve everyone on equal terms, but honesty and trust apply to both. The level of openness requires taking a huge step in personal growth. It means having a secure <\/span>attachment style<\/span><\/a> with assertive and compassionate conflict management strategies. <\/span><\/p>\n
When everyone is looking deeply within themselves and is willing to keep learning and growing, a polyamorous relationship can be ethical. The differences between non-monogamous vs. polyamorous don’t matter so much then. <\/span>Essentially, the relationship is ethical if they all each listen to each other and value each other.<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/span>Is an open relationship the same as polyamory?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
\"Happy<\/p>\n
The main distinction when you compare polyamory vs. open relationship, is that ethical polyamory is about being emotionally committed to more than one person.<\/b> Another way to think about it is that polyamorous people are in loving relationships, whereas open couples simply have sex with other people. <\/span><\/p>\n
There are subtle differences between ethically non-monogamous vs. polyamorous relationships.<\/b> To be more precise, polyamory is a<\/span> form of non-monogamy<\/span><\/a>. For example, other types of non-monogamy include swinging, triads, and poly-fidelity, among others. The latter is essentially polyamory but within a defined and established group. <\/span><\/p>\n
Comparing polyamory vs. open relationship means understanding the rules of engagement.<\/b> The <\/span>open relationship<\/span><\/a> definition is more flexible in the sense that couples are free to have sex on the side. By contrast, polyamorous groups don’t prioritize a specific couple.   <\/span><\/p>\n
The lines get more blurred when you consider other options, such as poly-monogamous relationships. These are other forms of open relationships although not everyone has bought into the idea of open relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n
Again, the key message is to make sure everyone is comfortable with whatever rules of engagement are decided. Of course, these need constant fine-tuning as conflicts arise. Regardless, the more at ease and secure people are, the more likely they can make the necessary adjustments. <\/span><\/p>\n
As this <\/b>article<\/b><\/a> on what polyamory can teach about secure attachment explains, establishing non-monogamous vs. polyamorous success depends on <\/b>dealing with past trauma<\/b><\/a>. <\/b>Only then can people understand their needs and communicate them for a healthier attachment.  <\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> How to Heal From Relationship Trauma<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
Watch this video, if you want to know more about your attachment style and how it maps with your brain:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n