

{"id":79492,"date":"2022-07-26T07:36:59","date_gmt":"2022-07-26T07:36:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=79492"},"modified":"2023-10-06T13:25:14","modified_gmt":"2023-10-06T13:25:14","slug":"how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-stop-obsessing-over-someone\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Being Obsessive in a Relationship: 10 Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79495\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-26T130044.061.jpg\" alt=\"Girl ignoring stalker man \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/romance\/have-a-romantic-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Romantic relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are usually filled with passion and an intense desire to be close to each other, especially in the beginning stages. While feelings of love can be intense, problems can arise if obsessive behavior in a relationship exists.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re struggling with relationship obsession or become obsessed with your relationships, there are ways to cope. Here, learn how to stop being obsessive in a relationship and how to overcome obsession in a relationship before things get out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-does-it-mean-to-be-obsessive-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What does it mean to be obsessive in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Obsessive meaning in relationship&rdquo; refers to the overwhelming preoccupation with one&rsquo;s partner and the relationship itself, typically leading to intrusive thoughts, excessive monitoring, jealousy, possessiveness, and a constant fear of abandonment.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Individuals exhibiting such behavior may neglect their well-being, struggle to trust their partner, and experience emotional turmoil. Healthy relationships thrive on trust, respect, and mutual growth, while obsession can be detrimental, causing emotional distress and straining the relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recognizing these signs is essential, as addressing them is crucial for maintaining a fulfilling and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/maintain-balance-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">balanced relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-causes-obsession-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What causes obsession in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re asking yourself, &ldquo;Why am I obsessed with my boyfriend?&rdquo; you might be interested in understanding the causes of this behavior. In some cases, obsessive behavior in relationships can be caused by a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC4834420\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mental health condition<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or a personality disorder (OCD).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other common causes of obsessiveness in relationships include<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A constant need for reassurance<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Low-self esteem<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having codependent tendencies, meaning you feel the need to care for other people in relationships<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Underlying issues with jealousy or the fear that a partner will leave you&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having an addictive personality type<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Difference-between-love-and-obsession\"><\/span><b>Difference between love and obsession<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re obsessive in a relationship, you may believe that you&rsquo;re simply demonstrating <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/the-true-meaning-of-love-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">feelings of love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but there is a difference between <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/273425262_Prevalence_of_Obsessive_Love_and_Its_Association_with_Attachment_Styles\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love and obsession<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An unhealthy obsession with someone can take over your life. In contrast, healthy love is balanced and can allow you to care for someone while recognizing that they can have interests aside from you.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, when you are obsessed with someone, you may want to spend all of your time with them, and you may become highly jealous if they want to spend time with others or have interests outside of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, in relationships with a healthy form of love, you can care deeply about your significant other and even feel passionate about them. However, you still recognize that they may spend time apart from you and have interests outside the relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Obsessive behavior in relationships can sometimes take on the form of control, in which one person may seek power over the other.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/benefits-of-healthy-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">healthy relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> based on genuine love, a person does not desire to control their partner but instead views them as a person who is worthy of respect and autonomy.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-get-over-an-obsession-with-someone-10-steps\"><\/span><b>How to get over an obsession with someone: 10 steps<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you find yourself demonstrating unhealthy, obsessive behavior in your relationships, there are strategies you can use to learn how to be less obsessed with someone. Below, we have discussed some steps you can take to overcome obsession in your relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Distract yourself from obsessive thoughts<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the easiest ways to learn how to stop being obsessive in a relationship is to distract yourself. If you&rsquo;re having difficulty letting go of your obsessions, spend time doing things you enjoy or take up a new hobby.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might also consider distracting yourself with a movie, a good book, or a walk around the block. Whether you&rsquo;re in an obsessive relationship or trying to stop obsessing over an ex, a little distraction can go a long way. <\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/warning-signs-being-obsessed-with-someone\/\" title=\"15 Glaring Signs of Being Obsessed With Someone\">15 Glaring Signs of Being Obsessed With Someone<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>2. Set a goal for yourself<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&rsquo;s easy to become obsessive in a relationship when you don&rsquo;t have any personal aspirations. If you&rsquo;re looking to overcome an obsession with someone, set a goal, such as learning a new skill, getting a promotion at work, or even going back to school.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you&rsquo;re focused on your goals, you won&rsquo;t have time to be obsessed.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79494\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-26T130119.870.jpg\" alt=\"Woman annoying man while he is playing games \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>3. Get to the root of the feeling<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Behind every obsession, there is usually some underlying feeling, such as fear or anxiety. It might be time to dig deeper if you can&rsquo;t figure out how not to obsess over someone. What are you really feeling?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe you&rsquo;re obsessing over your partner because you&rsquo;ve been hurt in the past, and you&rsquo;re fearful they will betray you. Whatever the case, dealing with the underlying feeling can help you to become less obsessive.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>4. Practice mindfulness<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learning to become more mindful or live in the present moment can be a strategy for how to not be obsessive in a relationship. When you become more mindful, you can focus on the present and let thoughts come and go without fixating on them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For someone who tends to obsess in relationships, mindfulness practices such as yoga and meditation can take your mind off your obsessions and allow you to be more relaxed.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/improve-your-relationship-with-mindfulness-and-meditation\/\" title=\"Improve Your Relationship with Mindfulness and Meditation\">Improve Your Relationship with Mindfulness and Meditation<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>5. Turn to family and friends<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, you may not realize you&rsquo;re being obsessive in a relationship. If friends and family share that they worry you&rsquo;re overly obsessed, they might be genuinely concerned and correct.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the same time, if you worry that you&rsquo;re being too obsessed, you can usually count on your closest loved ones to be honest with you and offer their suggestions.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>6. Take up journaling<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, it can help to put your thoughts on paper. When experiencing an obsessive thought, write it down; you may find it has less power.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In general, journaling can be a way of calming your mind and alleviating whatever feelings are leading you to be obsessive in a relationship. This practice can be an effective technique for learning how to be less obsessive.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/counseling\/stop-obsessive-thoughts-about-spouse-cheating\/\" title=\"How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts About Spouse Cheating: 10 Ways\">How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts About Spouse Cheating: 10 Ways<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79493\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-26T130147.786.jpg\" alt=\"Excited woman reaching hands towards camera \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h3><b>7. Consider if codependency might be to blame<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Codependent people tend to obsess over the well-being of the people around them, to the point that they feel responsible for others, even in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/how-to-be-mature-in-a-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">adult relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel compelled to obsess over your significant other&rsquo;s every need and think you need to &ldquo;fix&rdquo; them or be a hero in their life, you could be codependent.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this case, attending a codependent support group can be helpful. In support groups, you might learn that you aren&rsquo;t accepting other people&rsquo;s behavior, which can help you let go of your obsessive desire to protect your partner.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may also benefit from exploring books on codependency to help you discover more about your tendency to be obsessive in relationships.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"wporg-box\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"wporg_heading\">RELATED READING : <\/span><span class=\"wporg_title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/obsessive-love-disorder\/\" title=\"Obsessive Love Disorder: Symptoms, Causes &#038; How to Treat\">Obsessive Love Disorder: Symptoms, Causes &#038; How to Treat<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<h3><b>8. Recognize that obsession can be dangerous<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re struggling with how to stop being obsessive in a relationship, take a step back and recognize that being obsessive in your relationships can be <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/ijip.in\/articles\/impact-of-relationship-obsession-on-the-routine-of-an-individual\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">unhealthy and dangerous<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the very least, being obsessive can lead to toxic <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-constitutes-healthy-relationship-dynamics\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship dynamics<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, in which you control your partner and prevent them from having outside interests.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the worst cases, obsessive behavior in relationships can cause you to violate your partner&rsquo;s rights. For instance, they may feel they do not have the right to leave the house without permission. Some obsessive partners may even resort to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/psychological-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">psychological abuse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or physical aggression to control their partners.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learning how to stop obsessing over someone is essential for encouraging healthier relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>9. Spend time with other people<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;ve become obsessive in your relationship, you might benefit from enjoying time with family and friends. When you&rsquo;re struggling with the fact that your significant other has outside interests and friendships, it can be helpful if you pursue friendships of your own.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you spend more time apart, you might realize that you enjoy having separate time for your interests and friendships. This can help you to overcome being obsessive in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch Rajiv Surendra, a Canadian actor, artist, and writer, share his insights on how you can spend quality time with your loved ones:<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xMDpLpw6QdI?si=TuTUgeAHK1IuU4Rc\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>10. Turn to professional support<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, an underlying issue, such as a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/mental-health\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mental health condition<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, may lead to an unhealthy obsession with a person. If you&rsquo;re in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/tips-to-maintain-commitment-in-your-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">committed relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you may benefit from undergoing relationship therapy to help you address obsessiveness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On the other hand, if you&rsquo;ve broken up and you&rsquo;re trying to learn how to overcome obsession, it can be helpful to undergo individual counseling to treat underlying mental health conditions. This may not only reduce the current obsession but also allow you to have healthier relationships in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Commonly-asked-questions\"><\/span><b>Commonly asked questions<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exploring the complexities of romantic relationships can raise questions about obsessive behavior and its impact. Here are some commonly asked questions that shed light on how obsession affects relationships and its potential connection to deeper emotional or mental health issues.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>How can being obsessive affect a relationship?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being obsessive in a relationship can have detrimental effects. It can lead to excessive jealousy, possessiveness, and insecurity, straining the bond. Over time, it may erode trust and emotional well-being, causing stress and emotional turmoil for both partners.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/what-is-the-definition-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healthy relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> thrive on trust, respect, and mutual growth, qualities that obsession can jeopardize.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li aria-level=\"1\">\n<h3><b>Can obsessive behavior indicate a deeper emotional issue or mental health condition?<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Obsessive behavior in a relationship can indicate underlying emotional issues or mental health conditions. Conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and codependency may contribute to obsessions.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recognizing these signs and seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can be crucial in addressing the root causes and developing healthier relationship connections.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-bottom-line\"><\/span><b>The bottom line<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you tend to show obsessive behavior in relationships, there are strategies you can use to overcome your obsessions. For instance, with time and practice, you can learn to cope with obsessions by practicing mindfulness, distracting yourself with things you enjoy, and spending time with friends.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Obsessiveness can sometimes signify an underlying issue, such as a mental health condition. In this case, learning how to stop being obsessive in a relationship may require you to go to counseling so you can address the mental health condition that is leading to obsessive behaviors.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can be challenging to learn how to stop being obsessive, but the truth is that it is possible. Typically, obsession is rooted in some larger fear, such as a fear of something terrible happening to your significant other or anxiety over being abandoned.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Letting go of these fears may seem scary. Still, the truth is that learning how not to obsess over someone can pave the way for healthier, happier relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Romantic relationships are usually filled with passion and an intense desire to be close to each other, especially in the beginning stages. While feelings of love can be intense, problems can arise if obsessive behavior in a relationship exists. If you&rsquo;re struggling with relationship obsession or become obsessed with your relationships, there are ways to cope. Here, learn how to stop being obsessive in a relationship and how to overcome obsession in a relationship before things get out of control. What does it mean to be obsessive in a relationship? &ldquo;Obsessive meaning in relationship&rdquo; refers to the overwhelming preoccupation with <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1262,"featured_media":79495,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[93],"tags":[2718],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79492"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79492"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89943,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79492\/revisions\/89943"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}