

{"id":79327,"date":"2022-07-13T16:57:35","date_gmt":"2022-07-13T16:57:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=79327"},"modified":"2023-07-14T06:35:28","modified_gmt":"2023-07-14T06:35:28","slug":"types-of-abuse-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/types-of-abuse-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79331\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-13T222044.181.jpg\" alt=\"Sad woman sitting alone \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abuse of any form eats you up from the inside out. It crushes your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/self-esteem-makes-successful-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">self-esteem<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and disconnects you from life.<\/span><b> You don&rsquo;t have to hide and healing is possible though<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It starts with understanding the 8 types of abuse in a relationship. It isn&rsquo;t just physical.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What-is-abuse-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>What is abuse in a relationship?<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The question of what is considered abuse in a relationship can be difficult to pinpoint precisely. Most people think of physical abuse but there are many more types of abuse that people can inflict on each other. Essentially, <\/span><b>abuse is any action or behavior that causes harm or mental anguish.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>As counselor Elizabeth McCormick explains in her article on<\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/what-is-abuse\/\"> <b>what is abuse<\/b><\/a><b>, there are also subtypes of abuse.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> For instance, neglect and sexual abuse can sometimes come under physical abuse. Alternatively, you can also have guilt-tripping and name-calling under <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/signs-you-are-experiencing-emotional-and-mental-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional abuse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8-different-types-of-abuse-in-a-relationship\"><\/span><b>8 different types of abuse in a relationship<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79330\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-13T222110.609.jpg\" alt=\"Care worker mistreating elder man \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of the abuse, it eventually leads to mental issues such as depression. <\/span><b>Victims often become desensitized to frequent abuse, and they take on the shame and the guilt.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Nevertheless, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, then it is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">First, you need to understand what is abuse in a relationship by reviewing the following descriptions of the types of abuse. As you&rsquo;ll quickly see, it&rsquo;s more than just about being in a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/five-facts-you-need-to-know-about-physical-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">physically abusive relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>1. Emotional abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abusive relationships don&rsquo;t always start with physical violence. Instead, the types of abuse in a relationship can start with more subtle signs, specifically those geared towards emotions. <\/span><b>These can be as simple as ignoring you or belittling your feelings.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">More specifically, spousal abuse often involves a dominant male. Of course, women can be abusive but some traditional males take the need to protect too far.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As Dr. Clare Murphy <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/speakoutloud.net\/intimate-partner-abuse\/jealousy\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">explains in her article<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> on over-protection, stopping you from doing things or treating you like a possession is also listed under the types of abuse in a relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Within the emotional forms of abuse in a relationship, you can also find manipulation, blaming, passive-aggressive, and shaming.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> On top of that, you have controlling behavior as well as criticizing or even isolating yourself from friends and family.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This list is not exhaustive because any verbal or behavioral action that makes you feel shame, guilt or fear is emotional abuse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/strategies-to-deal-with-emotional-abuse-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6 Strategies to Deal With Emotional Abuse in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>2. Sexual abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People often think of sexual abuse in relationships as the obvious one alongside physical abuse. Although, the CDC now refers to Intimate Partner Violence to cover all the subtypes of sexual abuse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>The<\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/violenceprevention\/intimatepartnerviolence\/fastfact.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <b>CDC<\/b><\/a><b> shows that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men have been a victim at least once in their lives. This includes being stalked by a partner<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Although, of course, sexual abuse also includes unwanted touch or pressure to perform certain sexual acts.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading: <\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/sexual-abuse-in-marriage-is-there-such-a-thing\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sexual Abuse in Marriage &ndash; Is There Really Such a Thing?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>3. Physical abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Physical abuse in a relationship can include hitting or shoving as well as throwing things. Of the forms of abuse in a relationship, this is the most likely to lead to depression, anxiety and even PTSD. You can also usually connect it to substance abuse, both for the victim and the abuser.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>As this<\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.rehabspot.com\/treatment\/co-occurring-disorders\/domestic-violence\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <b>Rehabspot article<\/b><\/a><b> explains, victims and abusers are 11 times more likely to be involved in violence on substance abuse days<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It makes sense if you consider that people turn to substances to numb both the physical and emotional pain.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Other less well-known physical abuse examples include force-feeding, choking, restraining and dangerous driving. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Basically, anything that can harm you physically or puts your life in danger is part of the physical types of abuse in a relationship.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/the-effects-of-physical-abuse\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Effects of Physical Abuse<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>4. Intellectual abuse&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We all have needs and boundaries to help us function as healthy and grounded human beings. Intellectual boundaries are often overlooked, especially in a relationship where the lines can get blurred. <\/span><b>Nevertheless, everyone has the right to their own thoughts or ideas.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A typical example could be if a spouse stops you from going to church or your spiritual meetings. Perhaps they make you feel stupid for having these beliefs?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No matter what your beliefs are, as long as you&rsquo;re not hurting anyone, you are free to hold them. Otherwise, you simply crush your self-esteem.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Different types of abuse under the intellectual theme could also fall into the digital world. For instance, <\/span><b>your spouse could belittle you by attacking your opinions publicly<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This type of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/5-reasons-of-abuse-in-a-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spousal abuse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is very close to emotional abuse. Regardless, it&rsquo;s important to remember you are entitled to your beliefs about how to live your life. And that boundaries are part of that.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learn more about how to love with boundaries in this video by therapist, Candace Plattor:&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/VadN5wpk_-0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><b>5. Material and financial abuse&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>According to the<\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/nnedv.org\/content\/about-financial-abuse\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"> <b>US National Network to End Domestic Violence<\/b><\/a><b>, 99% of abusive relationships involve financial abuse.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Again, in terms of types of abuse in a relationship, this one can creep in gradually.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It all starts innocently with the abuser proposing to help sort out the finances so you don&rsquo;t have to worry. This quickly escalates, and you find yourself cut off from the so-called joint accounts with no access to funds. In essence, the abuser has full control.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, with material abuse, you are just as violated if your spouse destroys or steals your possessions. A car is an obvious example because once destroyed, you are isolated. In terms of types of abuse in a relationship, this plays a big part in crushing your autonomy.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/finance\/financial-abuse-in-a-marriage-what-you-need-to-know-and-do\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Financial Abuse in Marriage &ndash; 7 Signs and Ways to Deal With It<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>6. Mental abuse&nbsp;<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The types of abuse in a relationship are varied. This almost doesn&rsquo;t matter. On the contrary, the key question is, &ldquo;What is abuse in a relationship?&rdquo;. To answer it, simply observe any act or behavior that can harm your physical or mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whilst clearly the mind and our emotions are linked, there is a difference. <\/span><b>Mental abuse is more focused on influencing your thought processes rather than simply your emotions. So, where emotional abuse undermines your self-esteem, mental abuse impacts your sense of reality, as in gaslighting.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sexual abuse in relationships can also overlap with both mental and emotional types of abuse in a relationship. For instance, forcing someone to perform sex acts that degrade them is also a form of mental abuse.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Similarly, sex can be used as a way to control other people&rsquo;s feelings such as making people feel ugly or unwanted. Once more, the abuser has hurt the victim.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/domestic-violence-and-abuse\/identifying-mental-abuse-in-a-relationship\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Identifying Mental Abuse in a Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h3><b>7. Cultural abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79329\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-13T222140.774.jpg\" alt=\"Husband threating his wife \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sadly, someone&rsquo;s culture can also be used against them to inflict harm. Whilst this overlaps with the other types of abuse in a relationship and is often less talked about, it&rsquo;s equally damaging. It can also come up in the digital world where people often attack each other publicly.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Signs of cultural abuse are similar to the other types of abuse in a relationship. When someone&rsquo;s fundamental core is attacked, it can also lead to depression and anxiety. People can quickly become withdrawn especially if the abuse is also getting physical and they want to hide the wounds.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Typical examples would be to isolate people from their community, deny their traditions or criticize their practice. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The ultimate aim is to harm the victim.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>8. Discriminatory abuse<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>If your partner is treating you badly because of a disability or your gender, you could be experiencing discriminatory abuse<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. In this case, physical abuse examples could be stopping you from accessing, for example, your wheelchair.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Other different types of abuse within this category could be mocking your gender on <\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/social-media-and-relationships\/\"><b>social media<\/b><\/a><b>. They might even bring your age into it. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is further exacerbated if they&rsquo;re exploiting you at the same time by, for instance, using your social aid for their benefit alone.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Guidelines-for-when-facing-abuse\"><\/span><b>Guidelines for when facing abuse&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-79328\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/New-Project-2022-07-13T222211.465.jpg\" alt=\"Young woman having canceling session \" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of the types of abuse in a relationship that you&rsquo;re facing, you&rsquo;re not alone and help is available. Leaving isn&rsquo;t always an easy or safe option without first having a plan. <\/span><b>So, educate yourself as much as possible as a first step.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>You can also reach out to online support groups or therapists that specifically deal with physical abuse in a relationship.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They will help you see the abusive relationship patterns, and they&rsquo;ll validate your story. There&rsquo;s nothing worse than doubting yourself during these tough moments.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>In terms of dealing with your abuser, never engage and keep statements to a minimum. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The idea is to avoid adding fuel to their emotions. That means not answering back and not trying to reason with them. Simply state that you can talk later and then walk away.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&rsquo;re in a physically abusive relationship, try to get to a safe place as soon as you can. Try to reach out to friends and family if you can or get yourself to a local support group. Even if you don&rsquo;t have access to your finances, those support groups can help you free yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<pre><b><i>Related Reading:<\/i><\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/therapy\/types-of-therapists\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8 Different Types of Therapists and What Their Work Entails<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final-recommendations-for-dealing-with-abuse\"><\/span><b>Final recommendations for dealing with abuse&nbsp;<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><b>So, what is considered abuse in a relationship? It&rsquo;s very broadly anything that can harm you physically, mentally, or emotionally.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> No one should ever have to suffer at the hands of others. They themselves might have been victims once upon a time, but nothing ever excuses turning on others.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Abusive relationship patterns rarely end and never without help. It&rsquo;s tempting to tell ourselves that things will change when we face different types of abuse in a relationship. <\/span><b>Nevertheless, the only way to help ourselves is to get help.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>With a therapist or support group, you can heal and recover.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> You can find people to talk to who have been through their own experience of abuse. There&rsquo;s power in the community that will reawaken you to find the life you deserve, free from harm.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Abuse of any form eats you up from the inside out. It crushes your self-esteem and disconnects you from life. You don&rsquo;t have to hide and healing is possible though. It starts with understanding the 8 types of abuse in a relationship. It isn&rsquo;t just physical.&nbsp; What is abuse in a relationship? The question of what is considered abuse in a relationship can be difficult to pinpoint precisely. Most people think of physical abuse but there are many more types of abuse that people can inflict on each other. Essentially, abuse is any action or behavior that causes harm or <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1329,"featured_media":79331,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[85],"tags":[2709],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79327"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1329"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79327"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":79334,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79327\/revisions\/79334"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79331"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}