![\"Marriage](\"http:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/97.jpg\" "\\"Marriage")
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How do you know if your marriage is in good health or not? This is a question that is certainly worth looking into, especially if you have been wondering along those lines.<\/span><\/p>\n According to the psychologist <\/span>Silvana Mici<\/span><\/a>:<\/span><\/p>\n As a couples therapist, I have learned that a healthy marriage is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Couples who prioritize these qualities can create a lasting and fulfilling relationship.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Just as it is good to go for a regular physical check-up with your doctor, it is also good to have a relationship health check-up from time to time to determine if it qualifies as a good marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n You may be quite surprised or shocked when you hear what your blood pressure and cholesterol readings are, even though you had not suspected that anything was amiss.<\/span><\/p>\n Similarly, when you take a closer look at your marriage health<\/a>, you may be in for a few surprises. <\/span><\/p>\n It takes a lot to have a happy and healthy marriage.<\/p>\n The secret lies in healthy relationship habits and not grand romantic gestures. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n By taking an overview of signs of a happy marriage, you will be able to take a definite test of your marital health, rescue your marriage from habits that are starving it of happiness, and give the relationship a staying power.<\/p>\n As psychologist Silvana Mici says:<\/p>\n Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. When you take care of yourself, you’re better able to show up for your partner and your marriage.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n If, as a couple, you are in it for a long haul, you must do a marriage check-in with pertinent questions like, “What makes a good marriage?” “Are there any evident signs of a good relationship?”<\/p>\n The following signs of a healthy marriage will give you an idea as to whether or not you enjoy a strong marriage.<\/p>\n The first step towards being a good husband or wife is to accept yourself. One of the key signs of a good marriage is cultivating healthy self-acceptance<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n When you commit to appreciating and embracing yourself fully along with your strengths and weaknesses, it’s a perfect marriage sign. It is also what makes a healthy marriage, as self-acceptance improves our relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n Basically, you need to have a good relationship with yourself before you can expect to have a good relationship with someone else. <\/span><\/p>\n In fact, this goes for all relationships, but especially in marriage. If you feel bad about yourself and you are expecting your spouse to meet all your emotional and self-esteem needs, this is putting an unreasonable and unrealistic burden on your spouse. <\/span><\/p>\n Sooner or later, you will be disappointed, and then you will feel even worse. When you accept yourself as you are, as a work in progress, your motivation will be to give rather than receive, to love and help rather than want and need. <\/span><\/p>\n The amazing thing is that with such an attitude you usually end up being blessed in return, beyond your expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n Emotions play such a vital role in our lives every day. They add color to our relationships – both bright and somber colors, positive and negative. <\/span><\/p>\n The healthy way to experience emotions in marriage<\/a> is when both partners take full responsibility for their own emotions without blaming each other and demanding that their partner meet their emotional needs. <\/span><\/p>\n Blaming is a favorite tactic of abusers who often say, “You made me do it…” It is dangerous to ignore feelings and stuff them down rather than facing them and dealing with them out in the open. <\/span><\/p>\n Negative feelings that have been stuffed into the basement of our hearts do not magically disappear – they fester and can even result in “explosions” which cause misery and heartache, sometimes for years to come. <\/span><\/p>\n People try all kinds of things to counteract their negative emotions, often leading to addictions and compulsions. In a healthy marriage, emotions are expressed openly and freely as and when they occur. <\/span><\/p>\n One of the signs your marriage will last is the prevalence of open, honest, and transparent communication in your relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n Having firm boundaries that are intact and well maintained is one indication of positive marriage fitness. <\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The first step towards healthy boundaries<\/a> is figuring out what exactly your boundaries are. <\/span><\/p>\n This is different for each person, and in a marriage, each spouse needs to know their own personal boundaries, as well as their shared boundaries as a couple. <\/span><\/p>\n This covers any and every area, from money to personal space<\/a>, diet<\/a>, or possessions. Boundaries also need to be communicated very clearly to the one concerned, and when violations occur, it is up to you to take appropriate action. <\/span><\/p>\n For example, if you lend money to someone, saying that you want it returned within a month if that does not happen, you would know not to lend to that person again.<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, it is possible to have healthy conflicts! If someone says, “We have no conflicts at all in our marriage,” that would be cause for serious concern and doubt as to the marriage’s mental health. <\/span><\/p>\n In such a case, there is either total apathy or one partner is totally compliant and submissive to the dominating one. Conflict is inevitable when two completely different and separate human beings decide to live their lives in close proximity and intimacy. <\/span><\/p>\n Healthy conflict occurs when the issues are addressed without attacking the person and character of your loved one. <\/span><\/p>\n In healthy conflicts, the focus is on dealing with the issue and repairing the relationship. <\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It’s not about winning the argument or scoring points. It’s about overcoming an obstacle so that you can grow even closer to one another than you were before. <\/span><\/p>\n The best sign of a healthy relationship is your ability as a couple to problem-solve as a team<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n You may perceive a situation differently, but when you see and hear your partner’s viewpoint, you are willing to walk that extra mile and meet the middle ground. <\/span><\/p>\n you<\/span>What does a healthy marriage look like<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>1. They cultivate healthy self-acceptance<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"One](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/5-Steps-to-Help-You-With-Learning-to-Love-Yourself.jpg\" "\\"One")
<\/p>\n<\/span>2. They take full responsibility for their own emotions<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>3. They set and maintain healthy boundaries<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/span>4. They deal with conflicts as a team<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"They](\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Replacing-codependency-in-relationships-with-self-Love-recovery.jpg\" "\\"They")
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