{"id":7720,"date":"2016-04-14T05:08:38","date_gmt":"2016-04-14T05:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=7720"},"modified":"2025-09-17T05:46:00","modified_gmt":"2025-09-17T05:46:00","slug":"who-needs-a-pre-marriage-compatibility-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/pre-marriage\/who-needs-a-pre-marriage-compatibility-test\/","title":{"rendered":"34 Pre-Marriage Compatibility Test Questions to Discuss Before Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-7721 size-full alignnone\" title=\"Pre-marriage compatibility test\" src=\"http:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/73.jpg\" alt=\"Pre-marriage compatibility test\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps you&rsquo;ve been dating for a while, or maybe you are engaged and busy planning your wedding as &lsquo;you&rsquo; perceive that there is perfect compatibility in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amidst the flurry and excitement of &lsquo;being in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,&rsquo; you may have found yourself wondering just how compatible you and your partner really are and whether you should take up a pre-marriage compatibility test or not.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the same time, you might be wondering, is it really worth investing your time and energy in taking up a compatibility test for couples before marriage?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things may be great now, but will your <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> last in the months and years to come? And how will you be able to weather the storms that are bound to come your way sooner or later?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The answers to these questions may be largely unknown.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But, taking a pre-marriage compatibility test for couples or resorting to marriage compatibility calculator can surely go a long way towards finding some indication of the direction your future relationship is likely to take.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9COf-course-we-are-compatible%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&ldquo;Of course, we are compatible&hellip;.&rdquo;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AjdxzEllB1A?si=1Na8XaSxJ6GIsLO8\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribeYT_highlight\"><div class=\"subscribe_channel\">\r\n            <div class=\"subscribe_text\">Join millions <span class=\"sub_text1\">building healthier, happier<\/span> <span class=\"sub_text2\"> relationships.<\/span><\/div>\r\n            <a class=\"subscribe-btn-in-content\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@Marriagedotcom?sub_confirmation=1\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/youtube_icon_small.png\" class=\"icon-left\" alt=\"YouTube\">\r\n            <span>Subscribe<\/span>\r\n            <img src=\"\/images\/bell_icon_new.svg\" class=\"icon-right\" alt=\"Extra Icon\">\r\n            <\/a>\r\n        <\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perhaps these kinds of questions have never occurred to you.&nbsp; Things seem so great in your relationship now that you can&rsquo;t imagine how it could ever be any different.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;Of course, we are compatible, and we don&rsquo;t need any couples compatibility test to reaffirm our love&rdquo; you may be thinking, &ldquo;Otherwise, we wouldn&rsquo;t be getting married, surely!&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, sadly, this is not always the case concerning marriage compatibility. And, you don&rsquo;t have to look very far to find many marriages which have started well, but then shattered on the rocks of life and &ldquo;incompatibility.&rdquo;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The-more-you-know-about-each-other-the-better%E2%80%A6\"><\/span>The more you know about each other, the better&hellip;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are thinking of getting married, the more you know about each other before the wedding day, the better. By doing a premarital compatibility test or marriage compatibility test, you can discover some essential truths.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It can also help you to think through your values and issues in a way that may otherwise never come up during the ordinary course of conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are both serious about putting in the hard work to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">make your marriage the best<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that it can be, then a pre-marriage compatibility test or marital compatibility test is perfect for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Recommended &ndash; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/marriage-courses\/pre-marriage-course\">Pre Marriage Course<\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Categories-of-Questions-to-Discuss\"><\/span>Categories of Questions to Discuss<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2652 size-full\" title=\"Categories of Questions to Discuss\" src=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/catholic-marriage-ques..jpg\" alt=\"Categories of Questions to Discuss\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The following types of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/pre-marriage\/pre-marriage-counselling-questions-to-answer-before-saying-i-do\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">pre-marriage questions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are a helpful guide for every couple to think through and discuss together before they take the plunge into married life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is best to answer these marriage compatibility questions individually first, before sharing your answers.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Background-and-upbringing\"><\/span>Background and upbringing<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ol><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much do I know about the way my partner grew up?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Were his\/her parents happily married? If not, what happened in their marriage?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do my partner, and I come from similar social or cultural backgrounds?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If our backgrounds were very different, how do we plan to make our own &lsquo;culture&rsquo; together?&nbsp; Will it be mostly his way, or her way, or a good mixture of both?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How was my partner disciplined as a child?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Handling-of-finances\"><\/span>Handling of finances<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-24815 size-full\" title=\"Handling of finances\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/A-clear-understanding-of-household-finances.jpg\" alt=\"Handling of finances\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is my partner careful with money, or spending freely?<\/span><\/li>\n<li>Will we have separate accounts when we are married?<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we agree about how money should be spent, invested, or saved?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who will handle the payment of bills when we are married?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Friends-and-social-life\"><\/span><b>Friends and social life<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is my partner an introvert or extrovert?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we have the same level of expectation when it comes to social life &ndash; or does one of us love to be out with friends all the time, and the other prefers to be at home more?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we allow each other time apart to go out with our <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/same-sex-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">same-sex<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> friends?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Expectations-of-in-law-involvement\"><\/span><b>Expectations of in-law involvement<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do both sets of parents accept our relationship and our marriage?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After we are married, how often do we expect to see, or call our parents?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where will we spend special holidays and celebrations?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Household-duties-and-chores\"><\/span><b>Household duties and chores<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How will we divide up the household duties and tasks?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will one person do all the cooking, or will we take turns?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And what about the grocery shopping, cleaning, washing, and ironing?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If we have pets, who is responsible for cleaning and feeding them?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Having-children-and-starting-a-family\"><\/span>Having children and starting a family<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15921 size-full\" title=\"Having children and starting a family\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/This-Is-How-Pregnancy-Brings-Couples-Together1.jpg\" alt=\"Having children and starting a family\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we both want children or not?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If so, how many and when would we plan to start a family?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we have children, do we agree on what values, beliefs, or religious faith we will teach them?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we agree on how our children should be disciplined?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Communication-skills\"><\/span><b>Communication skills<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do my partner and I talk a lot together, or is our relationship mostly physical or non-verbal?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are there specific topics that I feel uneasy about bringing up or certain issues I know I should avoid?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I ask questions, does my partner explain the answer nicely, or does he or she become irritable and impatient?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How-to-resolve-conflicts\"><\/span><b>How to resolve conflicts<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have we had any severe disputes to resolve, and how have we resolved them? Did one of us &lsquo;give in&rsquo; to the other, or did we reach a beneficial compromise?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Has my partner ever ignored me, or stone-walled me until I give in to his or her wishes? (This is abusive, and should be regarded as a serious red flag.)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does my partner ever criticize me and undermine me?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I express concern or tell my partner that he or she has hurt me in some way, how does he or she respond? (if he or she makes excuses and blames you for being &lsquo;too sensitive,&rsquo; you may be seeing signs of emotional abuse.)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Hobbies-recreation-and-vacations\"><\/span><b>Hobbies, recreation, and vacations<\/b><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we each have hobbies which we enjoy doing, either separately or together?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do we both enjoy the same kind of recreation, or does one enjoy sport and the other not, or one enjoys watching movies and the other not?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How often would you expect to go on vacation, and where?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are your expectations when you are on vacation &ndash; to relax on the beach and read a book or to go sightseeing as much as possible?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><strong>Watch this video:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/pyl-XRwbHJQ\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After working through all of these<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/interactive\/2016\/03\/23\/fashion\/weddings\/marriage-questions.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> pre-marriage compatibility test questions<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you may have been surprised by some of your answers and your partner&rsquo;s answers.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These could have been pleasant surprises or nasty surprises. Either way, you will no doubt be in a much better position to gauge what your future may look like when you continue your relationship with one another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also, you must check for your religious compatibility, although it doesn&rsquo;t seem to qualify as a problem in your relationship before marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can choose to take up a catholic marriage compatibility test or any other compatibility test before marriage that focuses on your religious inclinations and beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Any pre-marriage compatibility test cannot do you any harm, and on the contrary, it can help you refine your perception about your relationship and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The pre-marriage tests can better equip you to understand your partner and keep you ready for challenging times.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Perhaps you&rsquo;ve been dating for a while, or maybe you are engaged and busy planning your wedding as &lsquo;you&rsquo; perceive that there is perfect compatibility in marriage. Amidst the flurry and excitement of &lsquo;being in love,&rsquo; you may have found yourself wondering just how compatible you and your partner really are and whether you should take up a pre-marriage compatibility test or not.&nbsp; At the same time, you might be wondering, is it really worth investing your time and energy in taking up a compatibility test for couples before marriage? Things may be great now, but will your relationship last <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":630,"featured_media":7721,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[21],"tags":[2624],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7720"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/630"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7720"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7720\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":112562,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7720\/revisions\/112562"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7720"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7720"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7720"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}