

{"id":7659,"date":"2016-04-13T09:05:20","date_gmt":"2016-04-13T09:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=7659"},"modified":"2024-10-29T13:57:38","modified_gmt":"2024-10-29T13:57:38","slug":"my-husband-wants-a-divorce-how-do-i-stop-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/my-husband-wants-a-divorce-how-do-i-stop-him\/","title":{"rendered":"My Husband Wants a Divorce, How Do I Stop Him"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-7660 size-full alignnone\" title=\"Save my marriage when my husband wants divorce\" src=\"http:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/4.jpg\" alt=\"Save my marriage when my husband wants divorce\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My husband wants a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">divorce<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Go on, say the words, my husband wants a divorce. Coming to terms with reality will make you more inclined to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2017\/05\/18\/fashion\/weddings\/11-questions-to-ask-before-getting-a-divorce.html\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">save the marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It will take work, but <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/love\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">love<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is worth the effort.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might have all the willingness in the world to save your marriage. However, you must be thinking to yourself, &ldquo;My husband wants a divorce, but I don&rsquo;t know what can I do?&rdquo;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, this is a terrible situation to be in and might seem insurmountable; after all, when a person has decided to quit a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, how can you make him stay?<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can&rsquo;t, not unless you sacrifice your dignity and self-respect or make them feel guilty about the situation, right? But this is not true; there are <\/span><b>ways to reclaim your relationship<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> just like it was before.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nothing has to change, just that you have to be patient and have to invest a lot of time and energy to do that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Read More: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So what to do when your husband wants a divorce? And how to make your husband give up the idea of divorce? The first thing you have to do is to remember your goals, which are:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keeping your husband<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Doing so without reverting to desperation or guilt tactics<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reaching a point where the relationship is healthy again<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Continue below to learn what to do in the situation where your husband asked for a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Recommended &ndash; <\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/marriage-courses\/save-my-marriage-course\"><b>Save My Marriage Course<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Get-control-of-your-emotions\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Get control of your emotions<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FaesfVyXRUM?si=Lo9hXdokuxzQM4mv\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My husband wants a divorce, but I still love him are words we never want in our heads. Upon learning that your spouse wants a divorce, you&rsquo;ll experience a plethora of emotions.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These emotions will include sadness, anger, and anxiety. Have a moment or two alone to freak out (don&rsquo;t take your emotions out on your husband) and then get a hold of yourself.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Releasing those emotions in a healthy way<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, like through exercise, will clear your head so you can decide how to handle the fact that your husband wants a divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Depending on the issues that led to this point, not acting on your initial emotions may surprise your husband in a good way.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With sights set on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/not-to-get-a-divorce\/\">saving my marriage when my spouse wants a divorce<\/a>, restoring happiness is the goal. Negative feelings are counterintuitive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Read More:<\/span><\/strong><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">&nbsp;<\/span><a class=\"_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtfLink\" href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/6-ways-to-successfully-fix-save-a-broken-marriage\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">6 Step Guide: How to Fix &amp; Save a Broken Marriage<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Keep-the-problem-contained\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Keep the problem contained<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to do when your husband says he wants a divorce? Do not talk to friends and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/family\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">family<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> about everything going on in the relationship. It is natural to want support but keep the situation contained.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Openly telling others about your problems and venting so they can comfort you can add additional fuel to the fire by turning them against your husband.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Telling a close family member or friend, &ldquo;My husband wants a divorce, but I still love him,&rdquo; is one thing, but following that with further details will likely encourage dislike.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want to stay married, so the relationship between your husband and loved ones must stay intact. The only way to do that is to avoid saying anything that will stop them from viewing him in a positive light.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/divorce\/5-tips-to-keep-in-mind-to-stop-a-divorce\/\"><b>Stopping a divorce<\/b><\/a><b> is much easier<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, with only two people involved.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Promote-some-healthy-distance\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Promote some healthy distance<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After learning that your husband wants a divorce, you want to give him space. Not too much space but just enough to give him time to think things through and perhaps, miss you a bit.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You want him to stay, but the reason behind him deciding to stay is just as important. People must decide to remain married because they want to. The decision shouldn&rsquo;t be driven by needing someone or guilt.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid separating if you can, but back off a little upon learning that he&rsquo;s considering a divorce. Sometimes distance does the trick. As a plus, distance gives you time to work on yourself and decide <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/five-things-you-can-do-right-now-to-improve-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how you can improve the marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-34683 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/image.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/How-Do-You-Survive-Financially-After-Divorce-7-Ways-to-Bounce-Back.jpg\" alt=\"what to do when your husband says he wants a divorce\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\"><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Create-communication-opportunities\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Create communication opportunities<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Upon learning that your husband wants a divorce, the dynamic between the two of you can be tense. People often shut down.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Break down barriers by <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/communication\/effective-communication-with-your-spouse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">creating opportunities to communicate<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> instead of taking the &lsquo;let&rsquo;s sit and talk approach.&rsquo; Making a meal, he likes and inviting him to sit and eat is a great way to create an excuse to talk.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To break the ice, say something along the lines of, &ldquo;Do you remember the first time I made this for you?&rdquo; There is likely a story to reminiscence over.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Reminiscing promotes a positive mood<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and brings thoughts about how the relationship started, how good it was, and perhaps inspires him to want to return to that point again.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two people don&rsquo;t decide to marry for just any reason. There was love and passion. Once both of you are open and smiling, be creative, and use your words to get close to your spouse again.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just talk, laugh, and appreciate each other&rsquo;s company like you used to. Leave marriage talk out for a while and focus on connecting. Treat this as a fresh start. A series of these events will, at least, make him rethink the divorce.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Take-the-opposite-approach\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Take the opposite approach<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do the opposite of what got you to this point. We all make mistakes, and your husband probably did too. No one is perfect, but for now, focus on improving your behavior.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Identify things that you did that pushed him away or caused tension and do the opposite. Be more independent, less demanding, handle things more calmly, and\/or fix the attitude.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So many people try to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/10-things-try-giving-marriage\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">stop a divorce<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> by promising change, but men don&rsquo;t want to hear what you&rsquo;re going to do, <\/span><b>the action is what resonates.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> There is no guarantee, but noticeable change may increase his willingness to work on the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;You also want to apologize for your wrongs after you&rsquo;ve implemented the necessary changes. Make it clear that no matter what happens, you&rsquo;ve learned from your mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/OVNpo1vOwZQ\" width=\"804\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">&#65279;<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Consider-his-wants-and-needs\"><\/span><span data-preserver-spaces=\"true\">Consider his wants and needs<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No woman likes hearing this, but if your husband is talking about a divorce, you are likely failing to meet his wants and needs. Fulfillment is a huge factor in a good marriage.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Try to look at the marriage from your husband&rsquo;s perspective.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Consider what life is like for him every day and ask yourself if that&rsquo;s enough.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then determine if you are fulfilling his wants and needs or if the marriage has been in a place in which the two of you are just going through the motions of married life.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Afterward, think of ways you can meet those wants and needs in order to make sure he is fulfilled. It&rsquo;s not uncommon to accidentally overlook a partner&rsquo;s needs.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reassess your love languages and see if you have been meeting each other&rsquo;s needs the right way, through the right love language.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&ldquo;My husband wants to leave me what should I do,&rdquo; &ldquo;my husband says he wants a divorce but says he loves me,&rdquo; &ldquo;my husband wants a divorce what are my rights&rdquo; if these are some questions that are bothering you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then the advice provided can help you <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/save-your-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">save your marriage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and help you in understanding <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.today.com\/health\/10-tips-preventing-divorce-I283608\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">how to stop divorce.<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Where there is love, there is hope. Just remember to put your all into saving the marriage without displaying any neediness or desperation.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stay calm, stay cool, and focus on making the relationship better. Lastly, do not rush things. Couples have to work at their own pace to see if the relationship can be saved.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":""},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My husband wants a divorce. Go on, say the words, my husband wants a divorce. Coming to terms with reality will make you more inclined to save the marriage. It will take work, but love is worth the effort.&nbsp; You might have all the willingness in the world to save your marriage. However, you must be thinking to yourself, &ldquo;My husband wants a divorce, but I don&rsquo;t know what can I do?&rdquo;&nbsp; Yes, this is a terrible situation to be in and might seem insurmountable; after all, when a person has decided to quit a relationship, how can you make <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":675,"featured_media":7660,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[2675],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7659"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/675"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7659"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105340,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7659\/revisions\/105340"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}