{"id":76425,"date":"2022-04-04T19:52:48","date_gmt":"2022-04-04T19:52:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=76425"},"modified":"2025-05-12T12:46:03","modified_gmt":"2025-05-12T12:46:03","slug":"toxic-monogamy-statements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/toxic-monogamy-statements\/","title":{"rendered":"Meaning of Toxic Monogamy & 7 Statements That Lead to It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Angry<\/p>\n

Monogamy is a type of relationship where couples willingly make the decision to<\/span> stay committed<\/span><\/a> to one another. It is having one partner at any one particular time. Monogamous relationships are not the same for all couples and can be customized depending on their needs. <\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, a<\/span> monogamous relationship<\/span><\/a> can become toxic when it is practiced in an unhealthy way. This is particularly true in a toxic monogamy culture where society dictates the kind of relationship you should have.<\/span><\/p>\n

Keep on reading to better understand monogamy and how it can be toxic. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is toxic monogamy?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

You might be wondering, what is toxic monogamy? Well, this is not really a new term that has been discussed a lot recently.<\/span><\/p>\n

As aforementioned, monogamy is the practice of having one romantic partner at a time. <\/span>It can become toxic when society dictates the kind of relationship couples should have. Monogamy becomes an issue for individuals who eternalize a possessive or<\/b> unhealthy form of love<\/b><\/a>. <\/b><\/p>\n

This toxic variant often perpetuates jealousy and possessiveness as markers of true love, overshadowing the importance of trust, communication, and independence within a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to <\/span>Maggie Martinez<\/span><\/a>, LCSW:<\/span><\/p>\n

Toxic monogamy teaches that love means possession when real connection thrives on trust—not control.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/span>5 types of monogamy you should know about<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Do you know there are various types of monogamy practices by couples? There are 5 types of monogamy that one usually gets involved in.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Physical<\/b><\/h3>\n

Many connect monogamous and non-monogamous couples to physical monogamy. This type of monogamy involves couples getting physical with another person. Couples who choose not to be physically monogamous can kiss or have sex with other people as long as all the people involved understand this kind of relationship. <\/span><\/p>\n

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2. Social <\/b><\/h3>\n

Some examples of social monogamy are inviting someone as your plus-one to a wedding or including someone in your insurance. In a socially monogamous setup, you show the world that you are together. You appear to be partners for others. <\/span><\/p>\n

One example of this is marriages for increasing wealth or status. There’s likely<\/span> no romance involved<\/span><\/a>. What happens when the couple is left alone is not important. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. Financial <\/b><\/h3>\n

Married couples who have been together for a long are likely to share bank accounts and other finances. Financial monogamy happens because they agree to share money but not with other people. Finances are something couples should discuss. Many couples feel stressed due to this, so boundaries must be set.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How to Communicate and Work on Your Financial Matters Together<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

4. Emotional <\/b><\/h3>\n

When you and your partner commit to only having<\/span> strong emotional intimacy<\/span><\/a> with each other, you are emotionally monogamous. You don’t attempt to fall in love or<\/span> create an emotional connection<\/span><\/a> with another person. <\/span><\/p>\n

The challenge with emotional monogamy is separating it from physical monogamy. Most people who are in a non-monogamous physical relationship find it difficult to control their emotions because there’s a possibility of one having feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n

The best way to deal with this is to discuss with your partner any feelings you have for another person. <\/span><\/p>\n

Couples who are not in a physical or emotional monogamous relationship are in a polyamorous relationship. Swinging is the term for being in emotional monogamy but not physical.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>How Important Is An Emotional Connection In A Relationship?<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

5. Activity<\/b><\/h3>\n

You and your partner likely enjoy doing activities together such as working out in the gym or watching movies. If you did these activities with another person, you would cross the boundary of activity monogamy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Activity monogamy means you are monogamous doing hobbies or <\/span>shared interests<\/span><\/a>. Therefore, you have specific activities that you only keep to yourselves. You and your partner might decide to do yoga and make it your thing. If one of you does yoga with another person, one will get jealous.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can be okay to cross this if one partner is not interested in what their partner likes such as playing a sport. Jealousy won’t be an issue if this kind of activity is done with others. It is indeed inevitable that couples have different interests. <\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED READING : <\/span>25 Romantic Things to Do as a Couple<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>\n

\"Sad<\/p>\n

<\/span>What problems are associated with monogamy?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Monogamy relationships are challenging to maintain. It’s easy when there aren’t any temptations around.<\/b> Unless a couple lives in a very isolated place, it’s not guaranteed that the other partner won’t feel attracted to another person. <\/span><\/p>\n

According to research, even the best intentions aren’t effective if one is faced with an unexpected and irresistible attraction to another. <\/span><\/p>\n

A <\/span>research<\/span><\/a> also discovered that extramarital partners are often close friends, colleagues, and long-term acquaintances. That means<\/span> extramarital relationships<\/span><\/a> don’t often occur with strangers. <\/span><\/p>\n

Also,<\/span> betrayal in relationships<\/b><\/a> is often considered a dealbreaker. <\/b>That’s because many stories, movies, and songs show vengeance on those who cheated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maggie Martinez highlights that:<\/p>\n

When loyalty is measured by jealousy and isolation, it stops being love and starts becoming a cage.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/span>Is it selfish to be monogamous?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

As long as the relationship is ethical, considerate, and sensible, being monogamous is not selfish.<\/b> If couples are accepting and open-minded, there isn’t a wrong or selfish relationship. Put simply, you shouldn’t worry too much about what others think and focus on discovering your truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

It’s important to question, “Is monogamy bad?” only in the context of your personal happiness and fulfillment within monogamy in relationships. Monogamy, like any relationship model, suits some but not all. <\/span><\/p>\n

The key lies in mutual respect, understanding, and the freedom to choose what works best for both partners without societal pressure.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Is toxic monogamy impacting your relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Wondering what is involved in a toxic monogamy culture? Well, there is a lot in this practice that makes it harmful and toxic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some questions you can ask yourselves to determine if toxic monogamy is impacting your relationship:<\/b><\/p>\n