{"id":74689,"date":"2022-02-07T11:29:23","date_gmt":"2022-02-07T11:29:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/?p=74689"},"modified":"2023-04-28T04:50:39","modified_gmt":"2023-04-28T04:50:39","slug":"pros-and-cons-of-an-open-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/relationship\/pros-and-cons-of-an-open-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Pros and Cons of an Open Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"Couple<\/p>\n

What do you expect from your relationships? Perhaps you have both spoken and unspoken rules you like to follow? It’s easy to judge open relationships but maybe there’s more going on behind the scenes that we might predict?<\/span><\/p>\n

Love springs to mind when relationships are mentioned. What about living deeply though? There’s also the art of letting go of judgments and societal pressures. So, what can we learn from the pros and cons of an open relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What is an open relationship?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Everyone is different such that most will want to define their own open relationship rules and definitions. Nevertheless, as this article detailing ‘what is an open relationship<\/a>’ describes, there are 3 core types of open relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

These are swinging, polyamory and non-monogamy. Swinging is all about sex but polyamorous relationships are where people have several committed relationships at once. An open, or non-monogamous relationship, is where there is a primary partner along with some secondary partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

Essentially, an open relationship means having more than one sexual partner. Although, you’re generally more romantically committed to one. As you can probably imagine, there are many pros and cons of an open relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Are open relationships wholesome? <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\"Love<\/p>\n

Humans are complex creatures and there’s no one size fits all despite our best efforts to find it. Cultures and societies revolve around what a few have agreed on to be the norm.<\/span><\/p>\n

With today’s globalization and exposure to other ways of doing things, the pros and cons of an open relationship don’t feel so shocking anymore. Although, it depends on how the people involved approach it so that the benefits of an open relationship outweigh the downside.<\/span><\/p>\n

All relationships expect some form of reciprocity and self-disclosure to create intimacy. As this psychology overview of <\/span>prosocial behavior<\/span><\/a> describes, we are constantly evaluating the costs and benefits of all relationships we experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

As we seek to maximize our benefits, people find themselves looking for options outside monogamy. Essentially, we’re trying to find the perfect blend of intimacy, passion and commitment. To some people, the pros and cons of an open relationship are so balanced that they feel fulfilled in all three of those areas.<\/span><\/p>\n

Interestingly, <\/span>research<\/span><\/a> shows that people are equally happy in functioning monogamous relationships as they are in functioning open ones. The key is to have a goal for getting into an open relationship rather than diving in blindly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Typical goals might be to deal with sexual incompatibilities, to explore commitment before marriage or even to save the relationship. The pros and cons of an open relationship are varied as we’ll see in the next section. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Do Open Relationships Work?<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
<\/span>20 for and against points of having open relationships <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
\"Love<\/p>\n
Let’s start by listing the pros of open relationship pros and cons. As you read through, think about how this might jar or coincide with your belief system. Are your judgments holding you back from a potentially life-enriching experience?<\/span><\/p>\n
10 benefits of open relationship <\/b><\/h3>\n
Check out what are the pros of being in an open relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n
1. Provide emotional freedom<\/b><\/p>\n
It’s hard relying on one person to meet all your emotional needs, especially because they might need something different to what you need at any given moment. That’s often the key driver for people to want to deal with the pros and cons of an open relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
When it comes to emotional needs, we have a wide range of them. These include validation, connection, acceptance, among others. Of course, these can be met through monogamy. Nevertheless, with the pros of having an open relationship, you’ll get more of them.<\/span><\/p>\n
2. Meet all your sexual needs<\/b><\/p>\n
Intimacy and sex are different. Those of us who treat them as the same would probably struggle with the pros and cons of an open relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
On the flip side, those who have strong boundaries between intimacy and sex are much better able to compartmentalize. This means they don’t get jealous when their partner has sex with someone else. It quite literally is as if their partner is just having dinner or a game of tennis with a friend.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>Lack of Sexual Desire in Relationships<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
3. Create a deeper bond<\/b><\/p>\n
Are open relationships healthy? They can be if they bring you closer to your primary partner. Imagine being able to talk about all your deepest desires and fantasies with your partner and still act on them?<\/span><\/p>\n
You also have the excitement of having someone new in your life that you can openly talk about. All this communication and sharing necessarily brings you closer and overcomes any drawbacks of an open relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
4. Reasonable expectations<\/b><\/p>\n
Monogamous relationships come with lots of expectations. On the other hand, working through the pros and cons of an open relationship can be liberating. It’s a case of shared responsibility with more than one partner.<\/span><\/p>\n
5. Openness<\/b><\/p>\n
Many couples go through great heartache due to cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n
Facing the pros and cons of an open relationship doesn’t remove mental issues but it can mean <\/span>better communication<\/span><\/a> and connection. Issues in those topics are often the main drivers behind infidelity.<\/span><\/p>\n
6. More connections<\/b><\/p>\n
A monogamous relationship can feel stifling especially if you do everything together. Instead, managing the pros and cons of an open relationship means having more people in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n
You can explore and experience intimacy with more than one person, very much like you would with close friends.<\/span><\/p>\n
7. <\/b>Get to know yourself<\/b><\/p>\n
Developing the rules to balance the pros and cons of an open relationship takes time and effort from both partners. Through this process, you’ll learn much more about your needs, desires and boundaries.<\/span><\/p>\n
8. Better communication<\/b><\/p>\n
Are open relationships healthy? If they help you communicate honestly and openly then yes. With the pros and cons of an open relationship, you’re willing to share far more about yourself and your preferences. This creates trust and loyalty.<\/span><\/p>\n
Related Reading: <\/i><\/b>5 Communication Tips That Will Transform Your Relationship<\/span><\/i><\/a><\/pre>\n
9. Less risk of failure<\/b><\/p>\n
Some people choose the pros and cons of an open relationship to avoid a breakup. After all, it’s a way to get some space while satisfying your curiosity. It doesn’t mean you’re not committed to your primary partner but it does mean that you want to live your life. The two approaches can work together.<\/span><\/p>\n
10. It’s fun<\/b><\/p>\n
Playfulness and fun often keep open relationships pros and cons in balance. It’s perfectly ok to have a fear of missing out and to want adventure in your life especially when both of you are willing to try open relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/span>10 disadvantages of open relationships <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n
\"Love<\/p>\n
Despite the many benefits, there are some downsides to take note of and to mitigate. <\/span><\/p>\n
1. Fear<\/b><\/p>\n
One of the key drawbacks of an open relationship is the emotional whirlwind you might have to deal with. If you tend to want your partner for yourself, an open relationship might trigger too much anxiety and fear.<\/span><\/p>\n
2. Jealousy<\/b><\/p>\n
You might get envious of your partner’s other person if you rely more on the primary relationship than they do. Often this insecurity comes from <\/span>low self-esteem<\/span><\/a> and fear of uncertainty.<\/span><\/p>\n
Have a look at this video if you want to further understand where insecurity and jealousy come from and if these examples describe you:<\/span><\/p>\n